The World Cup of AssPart One
High powered spotlights came roaring to life, beaming harsh rays across the studio and casting the stage in a radiant glow. A camera took a sweep of the stage, panning smoothly across the long row of ladies that were lined up across it. An eclectic mix of heights and shapes, skin tones and hair colours, every one of the assembled women was more gorgeous than the last. Dressed in tiny bikinis of varying design and colour, the brightly lit studio was a veritable ocean of long, slender legs, flat toned tummies, big, bulging racks and fabric-chewing camel toes.
The camera pulled back slowly, finally settling on the tall, handsome man that was stood centre stage. Clad in one of his trademark garish suits, his dark brown hair had been slicked into place, his familiar pushbroom moustache clinging to his upper lip.
“Gooood evening, ladies and gentleman,” he said, addressing the camera in his usual vivacious style, “and welcome to The World Cup of Ass
, a special, one-time only event, devised and hosted by myself, Perv Griffin. Tonight we have sixteen contestants from all four corners of the globe, each of them battling it out for the right to lift this
A loud ‘ooo’ went up from the studio audience as Candy, Perv’s trusty (and busty) assistant, waltzed out onto the stage, a golden cup-shaped trophy gleaming in her manicured hands.
“Yeah, quite something, eh, fellas?” the host remarked, looking past the cup and straight at his assistant’s tits. “The trophy’s not bad either!”
The spectators laughed and Perv flashed a wink at the camera.
“Thank you, Candy. We’ll be seeing you later.”
Candy placed the trophy atop a tall stone plinth, drawing a barrage of wolf-whistles as she blew a kiss to the crowd. She turned on her spindly heels and sauntered back in the direction she came from, Perv staring at her ass as she left the stage.Game 1Karen Gillan
(SCO) vs. Léa Seydoux
Referee: Naomi Scott
Judge 1: Alison Brie
Judge 2: Ana de Armas
Judge 3: Nathalie Emmanuel
“OK, let’s get to it, shall we? Who’s ready for the first matchup?” The audience cheered. “Thought you might be. Please welcome our first contestants, Karen Gillian and Lea Seydoux.”
Two women, a blonde and a redhead, emerged from the lineup, making their way to the front of the stage. They flanked the host from either side, striking a pose for the cameras.
“Phew! Looking good, ladies,” the host exclaimed.
He turned towards Lea. The Paris-born beauty sported a neatly-styled pixie cut, her bikini bearing the blue, white and red of her nation’s flag.
“So, Lea, we’ll be kicking things off with The Kissing Challenge. How do you think you’ll fare?”
“Tres bien,” the actress replied. “After all, the French are the best kissers in the world.”
“Hmm, is that a fact?”
“Oui, bien sûr. Why do you think it’s called French kissing?”
“Well, I can’t argue with that,” the host declared.
He turned to her opponent, the St Andrew’s Cross emblazoned across her pussy and breasts.
“How about you, Karen? Is there such thing as a Scottish kiss?”
“Aye,” she replied, “it’s called a headbutt.”
A hush fell over the studio, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
“Yeesh!” said Perv, turning towards the nearest camera. “Sorry I asked.”
The crowd fell into hysterics but the contestant’s face was as stony as ever.
“Now,” Perv continued, “in the regular World Cup, Scotland has a long tradition of getting knocked out in the first round. What will you be doing to buck that trend?”
Karen glared at him, staring a hole through the host like only a true Scotsperson can. “What d’you have to bring that up for? Fuckin’ Yankee cunt.”
Perv gulped nervously. “Erm…OK. Moving on. Now, as you know, determining someone’s kissing ability is entirely subjective. So you know that means, folks. We’re gonna need some judges. From England, Cuba and the good old US of A, please welcome Nathalie Emmanuel, Ana De Armas and Alison Brie.”
The audience clapped as the three women entered the stage, sitting in a row at the judges’ desk.
“And of course,” Perv continued, “every contest needs a referee. Star of Aladdin
and that shitty Charlie’s Angels
movie- whoops, wasn’t supposed to say that- put your hands together for Naomi Scott.”
Dressed in a skimpy black and white striped referee’s uniform, Naomi crossed the stage to rapturous applause.
“Hi, Naomi,” said Perv, looking her up and down. “Welcome to the show. Could you explain to us for the folks at home, what your duties will be as our guest referee?”
“Certainly, Perv. I will be ensuring that there’s no foul play- no inappropriate touching to win favour with the judges. Our two contestants are gonna have to let their mouths do the talking and if there are any roving hands, these birds will be shown the yellow card.” She brandished a card from her back pocket and held it up to the camera. “Any repeat offences and they’ll be taking an early bath. Possibly with me. We’ll see how it goes.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound too bad,” Perv quipped. “OK, thanks, Naomi. Now let’s meet our judges.” He crossed the stage to the judges’ desk. “Hi, Alison. Great to have you here.”
“I’m excited, Perv,” Alison replied. “Thank you for having me.”
“Give us a little insight, if you will, into your role as a judge. What criteria will you be scoring these ladies on today?”
“Well, tongue use is vital, along with saliva production. You need a little moisture in there, but nobody wants to be drowning in someone’s spit. And of course, the feel of a person’s lips is probably the most important thing when it comes to a good kiss.”
“OK, moving on. Ana. Stunning as always. Tell us, what qualifies you to judge this round for us this evening? Are they good kissers down in Cuba?”
“Si, claro,” the actress replied. “Best in the Caribbean.”
“Hmm, quite a claim. Now, one of our players is a co-star of yours. So I hope you’ll remain impartial.”
“Oh, si. I’m a professional, Perv. You know that.”
“Don’t I just,” he said with a grin. “And last but not least, Nathalie. Joining us from across the pond. One of our contestants is from Scotland. I trust there won’t be any bias towards your neighbours to the north?”
Nathalie laughed. “Fat chance of that, mate. The Scots and the English bloody hate each other!”
“Fuckin’ right we do,” Karen agreed, her lips curled in their familiar snarl.
“Mind you,” said the Englishwoman, “we don’t like the French much either.”
“Jeez!” Perv exclaimed. “Is there anyone you do
“Erm…no, not really.”
“OK. I think we better get down to it before a fight breaks out! Karen won the coin toss before the show, so she’ll be going first. Karen, whenever you’re ready.”
Karen nodded and crossed the stage, steely-faced as ever as she approached the judge’s desk. Gripping the lapels of her jacket, she practically hauled Alison over the top of the table as she pulled her in for a kiss. Naomi moved in close, inspecting the action for signs of foul play. Alison yelped, her voice quickly muffled by the plump pair of lips pushing sharply against her own, a tongue probing aggressively into the deepest parts of her mouth. A hand came up to cup her face, fingers pressing against her cheeks as the fiery-haired actress nearly chewed her lips off.
“OK, that’s enough,” said Naomi. “Break it up, you two.”
Their lips came apart and Karen pushed against Alison’s chest, shoving her back into her seat. Her ass hit the leather and she slumped back into her chair, sitting in stunned disbelief.
“Wow!” said Perv, addressing a nearby camera. “Looks like our Brit means business, huh?”
Karen moved onto judge number two, embracing her in a similar fashion. She gripped onto Ana’s designer dress, the thin straps snapping in her hands as she pulled the Cuban actress to her feet.
“Mierda!” she shrieked. “This dress wasn’t cheap, you know!”
“Shut up!” Karen snapped, silencing her with her lips and tongue.
The second kiss was just as forceful and Ana was powerless to resist as the smileless Scot almost ate her alive. Their mouths pried apart and Karen sunk her teeth into Ana’s lower lip, nearly ripping it straight from her face.
“Ay! Puta loca!” the brunette gasped, checking for blood as she returned to her seat.
But Karen showed little concern, moving quickly onto judge number three. Nathalie rose to meet her and the pair embraced, lips locking tightly together. Karen’s style was as aggressive as ever, but Nathalie gave it as good as she got. Their tongues entangled, grappling with force and intensity. It was fierce and it was feisty; a battle for supremacy, and it appeared that both women would sooner die than relinquish control to the other. Most people are familiar with the concept of a hate-fuck, but if there is such thing as hate-kissing then this was most certainly it. Finally, and with the entire studio watching in awe, the two Brits separated, exchanging looks of begrudging respect. It pained them to do so, but such talent and skill simply had
to be acknowledged.
“Wow!” Perv exclaimed, a smarmy grin ruffling the hairs of his moustache. “Well, that was eventful to say the least. OK, judges, let’s see those scores.”
Alison pushed a button on the desk and a digital monitor revealed her score: 5.0
from a possible 10.
“Oh, come on!” Karen groaned, making zero attempt to hide her displeasure.
“Right, well, I think it’s safe to say our contestant disagrees with that,” Perv declared. “Alison, care to explain your score?”
“Well, I loved the passion and intensity, but jeez, honey, tone it down a little. No-one wants their friggin’ face chewed off!”
Karen crossed her arms, muttering to herself in her heavy accent. But the worst was yet to come. Ana de Armas: 2.5
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Karen spat, her blood boiling to intolerable levels.
“Woah! It gets worse!” said Perv. “That score wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain dress, would it, Miss de Armas?”
“Damn right, it would!” the Cuban replied. “Good thing she’s not coming home with me tonight. I’d need to buy a whole new wardrobe!”
“Well, I don’t think there’s much chance of that now,” Perv declared, drawing laughs from the studio audience. “OK, Nathalie, your score, please.”
Nathalie Emmanuel: 10.0
“Fuckin’ finally!” said Karen, still fuming at the previous scores.
“Damn!” said Perv. “I don’t think any of us expected that. So, you liked the aggressive approach, huh?”
“I bloody loved it, Perv!” the Brit exclaimed. “I hate to admit it, but…fuck! That was one hell of a snog, love!”
“Cheers, hen. Now tell that to these cunts!” Karen spat, glaring at the other two judges.
“Hey!” yelled Alison, leaping up from her seat. “Who you calling a ‘cunt’, you red-haired bitch?”
Ana followed, screaming something in Spanish. Karen retaliated, tossing back a verbal hand grenade that was laden with expletives. Naomi rushed in, physically holding the redhead back before she gave the judges a taste of Scottish hospitality.
“OK, OK, ladies. That’s enough,” said Perv, diffusing the situation as best he could. “Boy, did this get off on the wrong foot. Let’s see if our next contestant can calm things down a little. Lea, over to you.”
Lea smiled, locking eyes with Alison as she approached the desk. Placing a finger beneath her chin, she leaned in slowly, smothering the judge’s lips with her own. There was a world of difference between this kiss and the last, and Lea exuded all the passion and sensuality that her country was known for. Her lips were full and squishy, pressing against Alison’s with a delicate touch that sparked a tingle in the brunette’s groin. Her tongue eased into Alison’s mouth, finding her own and encircling it tenderly. Their lips came apart, but the judge wasn’t done quite yet. She put her hands to Lea’s face and pulled her in for more, earning her a reprimand from the celebrity ref.
Ana was next, and no-one in the studio appreciated the contrast in style more than Miss de Armas. Her mouth still bore the marks of the previous contestant, and Lea’s soft lips provided a soothing touch. Her tongue was smooth and nimble, deftly exploring the Cuban’s mouth and dancing a mambo with her own. It was a welcome change and it left the Latina pining for more.
But the change in technique didn’t please everyone and to say that the lovey-dovey approach wasn’t to Nathalie’s liking would be putting it mildly. She attempted to heat things up, by kissing back with force and aggression, but Lea had a way of slowing things down, returning it to the steady tempo that bored the judge rigid. The tongue work was shoddy, her saliva-production was pretty much nil, and the way those puny lips pecked against her own was downright pitiful! It all came down to personal taste, of course. Which for Lea appeared to be a hint of garlic; another red mark on her scorecard. The kiss finally came to an end and Nathalie pushed the contestant away, practically chugging down a bottle of mouthwash.
“OK, well that was a little different, wasn’t it, folks?” said Perv. “Let’s see what our judges thought of it. Nathalie, we’ll start with you.”
Nathalie Emmanuel: 3.0
“Sacre bleu!” Lea exclaimed, looking visibly offended.
“Wow!” said Perv. “Quite the range of scores we’re getting today, huh? So, Nathalie, what didn’t you like about that?”
“Oh, I don’t know…everything? Too dry. To meek. Too gentle. And most of all? Too. Fuckin’. French!”
Lea muttered something in her native tongue, and Perv moved on quickly before the entire studio were at each other’s throats again.
“Well, you can’t please everyone, right? Maybe your style is more popular in Cuba. Ana, your score?”
Ana de Armas: 9.5
“Damn!” the host exclaimed. “Well, that’s more like it, huh, Lea? So you liked that then, Ana?”
“Si! Me gusta! It took me back to that threesome with Daniel Craig,” said Ana, her lips curled up in a grin.
“Lucky guy. And you, Alison?”
Alison Brie: 10.0
“Shit! Even better! And what did you like about it so much, Alison?”
“I liked everything about it, Perv! The softness, the passion, the feel of her lips and tongue. Do all French people kiss like that?”
“Oui!” said Lea, a broad grin tickling her lips.
“Then I need to get to Paris ASAP!” said Alison, coaxing laughter from the studio audience.
“Well, there you have it, folks,” the host announced. “With her average score of 7.5, Lea Seydoux has emerged victorious and advances to the next round.”
The crowd went wild and Lea basked in their applause, blowing kisses to her adoring fans.
“And commiserations to Karen Gillan, who…”
“Fuckin’ loada shite!” the redhead snapped, stopping the host in his tracks, perky tits bouncing as she stormed off stage.
“Jeez! Remind me never to piss off a Scottish woman,” Perv quipped and the audience fell about laughing. “And, please give it up for our judges and guest referee, Miss Naomi Scott.”
Applause ensued and the judges stepped out from behind their desk, waving to the audience as they left the stage. Lea rejoined her fellow contestants and Perv turned to address the camera.Game 2Millie Bobby Brown
(ENG) vs. Gal Gadot
Referee: Kiernan Shipka
“OK, one down, seven to go. Let’s get on with our second matchup. Put your hands together for our next contestants, from England and Israel, Milly Bobby Brown and Gal Gadot.”
The audience clapped and cheered as two beautiful women stepped out from the line up, joining Perv at the front of the stage. Millie’s dyed blonde locks hung down over her shoulders, partially obscuring the St George’s Crosses that were stretched across her bikini top. Gal’s hair spilled down her back in a long, glossy ponytail, both of her nipples ringed by the Star of David.
“Ladies,” he said. “Looking lovely this evening. Millie, we’ll start with you. Our second challenge this evening is all about handjobs. Is that something you’re good at?”
“Oh, yes,” the actress replied. “I love wanking blokes off. It’s a special skill that only the very best can master.”
Perv was intrigued. “Is that so?”
“Yep. Think about it. Any girl can make a man cum with her fanny. All she’s gotta do is lie there and take it. But getting him off with your hand alone? Now there’s
“OK,” said Perv. “I like the confidence.” He turned to contestant number two. “Hate to bring this up, Gal, but your opponent today is half your age. Do you think that your experience will give you that competitive edge?”
“Oh, absolutely,” the actress replied. “I was crowned Miss Israel while she was still in diapers. And I jerked off a few guys for that, I can tell you! Young girls like her are full of enthusiasm and energy, but they haven’t had the practice of a woman my age. Youthful exuberance can only take you so far, and when it comes down to it, practical experience will beat it every time.”
“Wow!” Perv exclaimed. “Looks like these ladies have a real battle on their hands. No pun intended. And to watch over this battle and ensure that it’s fought cleanly, is our guest referee. Please give a warm World Cup of Ass
welcome to America’s own, Kiernan Shipka.”
The crowd whooped and hollered as the beautiful blonde actress stepped out onto the stage, a man on both her arms. One white; one black, both young men were laden with muscle, towering over her 5’ 2” inch frame. Clad only in contrasting pairs of skin tight boxer briefs, both of them boasted a hefty lump in the crotch that really had to be seen to be believed.
“Hi, Kiernan,” said Perv, greeting her warmly as she crossed the stage. “Thanks for joining us. And you’ve brought a couple of friends with you, I see.”
“Uh huh, this is Jason and this is Chris,” she said, looking first at the black guy and then at the white. “Or was it the other way around?” She shrugged. “Who cares? Look at those cocks!”
“I see them,” said Perv. “Our contestants are gonna have fun with those tonight, huh?”
“Mmhmm. And luckily for me they’re only getting jerked off. So they’ll still have plenty of energy at the end of the show,” Kiernan grinned, winking at the nearest camera.
“So, Kiernan, give us the lowdown on our second matchup. What can we expect from this particular challenge?”
“Well, Perv, as you said earlier, this challenge is all about the handjobs. Both these girls will be jerking these studs to climax, and whoever makes their man cum the furthest wins.”
“So no points for style and finesse here then?”
“Uh uh. So we won’t be needing any judges for this one. Just me and my trusty tape,” said Kiernan, tapping the measuring tape that was clipped to the waistband of her shorts.
“I see,” said Perv. “And are there any rules we should know about?”
“The rules are simple, Perv. These girls have gotta get these guys off with their hands ONLY. So no mouths, ladies,” Kiernan warned, pointing a finger at the two contestants. “They can spit on them as much as they like, but if their mouths touch dick they’ll be immediately disqualified.”
“Well, it doesn’t get much clearer than that. Now let’s get this show on the road. Kiernan, over to you.”
“OK,” said Keirnan. “Ladies, into position.”
The girls knelt before the two men and Kiernan blew her whistle. The boxers came down and a huge pair of light and dark dongs came springing out, nearly hitting the contestants in the face. Millie’s hands came up in a flash, going straight for Jason’s dick. One went to the base while the other gripped tight to the middle of the shaft. Her hands were too small to envelop it fully, but she wound her fingers around that jet black shaft as best she could, enjoying the arousal already flowing through it as it pulsed in her dainty paws.
Gal, on the other hand, had chosen a different approach. A few seconds in and Chris’ dick had gone completely untouched, the former beauty queen focusing her attention on the large pair of shaven gonads that were swinging underneath it. Taking them in the palm of her hand, her painted nails grazed the young man’s taint as she curled her fingers around them, squeezing his swollen orbs.
“An interesting approach from Miss Gadot,” said Perv, commentating from the sidelines. “Can you talk us through what you’re doing there, Gal?”
“Well, Perv, in my experience, the more you tease a guy, the harder he goes off,” the Israeli explained. “Look. I haven’t even touched his dick yet and already it’s pounding like a drum!”
“Yes, I can see that. Almost like someone was prepping him backstage,” said Perv, looking accusingly at the celebrity ref.
“Me?” asked Kiernan, feigning innocence. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Perv,” the actress declared, a telltale grin tickling the sides of her mouth.
Gal’s hands slid up to Chris’ shaft and she spat a thick glob of spit onto the tip of his penis, lubing it thoroughly for the handjob to come. Kiernan moved in to observe, ensuring that all saliva application was within the bounds of the law. Gal linked her fingers as she wrapped them around Chris’ rod, stroking him tenderly as she worked them along the shaft.
And while Gal’s handjob was just beginning, Millie’s was coming to an end, every stroke drawing nearer to the inevitable conclusion. Jason’s shaft was drenched in spittle, smeared across all ten inches and a steady * SCHLICK * SCHLOCK * SCHLICK * sounded loudly as she jerked him off. His dick was throbbing, and the tip winked with each jerk and stroke, precum oozing from the wide open slit. Her lips came apart and she poked her tongue out instinctively, dying to taste the sticky goo as it dripped from the hole in his dick.
“Watch that tongue, Millie,” Kiernan warned, her whistle held up to her lips, ready to blow at the slightest infraction.
Millie groaned in frustration, and she jerked off Jason with greater ferocity, taking out her anger on his big black dick. Jason began to tremble, shaking from head to foot as the teenage beauty pulled his prong like her life depended on it.
“Ooh, yeah,” she grinned, gazing up at him with her dark brown eyes. “You gonna cum for me, big boy?”
“Uh huh,” he replied, deep voice rumbling from his throat.
“Mmm, good. Make it a good one, OK?”
She jacked him harder, fist pumping furiously as she jerked from his crown to his balls. One more stroke and his bellend exploded, semen spewing from the tip of his prick. A thick jet of viscous fluid shot across the studio, members of the crew ducking for cover as it soared to the edge of the stage, hitting the floor with an audible squelch.
“Damn!” said Perv. “That had some distance to it, huh? Happy with that, Millie?”
“Very happy, Perv,” said Millie, returning a smug grin. “Let’s see if Miss Israel can beat that!”
“Hear that, Gal?” asked Perv. “The marker’s been set. Think you can beat it?”
“Piece of cake, Perv,” the Israeli replied, jerking off Chris with dogged determination.
She wrapped her fingers around the base of his shaft and jerked him with a single hand, ensuring that the imminent eruption was as explosive as possible. Her arm was a blur and all it took was a few more strokes to detonate his dick like a nuclear bomb. A proud smirk stretched across the contestant’s face as a hot, spunky rocket was fired into the stratosphere. Coming back down to Earth with a resounding splat, the semen missile nearly cleared the stage entirely, leaving a big, sticky mark on the studio floor.
“Phew!” Perv whistled, his eyebrows raised in awe. “That wasn’t too bad either! Kiernan, do we have a winner?”
Kiernan peered at the pair of cumshots, giving both a thorough inspection.
“Hmm, inconclusive,” the actress declared. “Gonna need the tape for this one I think.”
She unhooked the tape from her shorts, measuring from Chris’ foot to the rounded crest of his cumshot. “2.18 metres.”
Gal’s grin grew wider, knowing a distance like that would be difficult to beat. Kiernan measured the second load, reading the distance slowly as she unravelled the tape. “2…point…1…9!”
“YESSS!!!” Millie shrieked, and she leaped into the air in triumph, perky breasts jiggling beneath her English flag bikini.
“Hmmph!” Gal sulked, folding her arms across her chest as she cussed in her native Hebrew.
“Well, that was a tight one, huh?” the host exclaimed. “With just a single solitary centimetre separating each load, it couldn’t have been much closer. But with her impressive score of 2.19 metres, the second spot in our quarter finals goes to Millie Bobby Brown!”
Millie yelped in delight then went to hug her opponent, Gal plastering on her best gracious smile as she congratulated the worthy winner.
“Let’s hear it once more for our two contestants and, of course, our guest referee, Kiernan Shipka!”
All three ladies bowed to the audience then went their separate ways. Gal and Millie returned to the line up, while Kiernan took the two men by the arm and led them both off stage. What they got up to when they returned to the green room, one can only begin to imagine.Game 3Samara Weaving
(AUS) vs. Zazie Beetz
Referee: Dua Lipa
“Wow!” said Perv. “What a great pair of matchups to start off the show. Let’s hope game three is just as enthralling. For this one we’ll be taking the handjobs from the previous game and kicking them up a notch with the Blowjob Challenge! And taking part in this contest will be two women of wildly different appearance, but equal dick-sucking ability. Believe me, I know! From Australia and Germany, please welcome Samara Weaving and Zazie Beetz!”
The crowd cheered as two more women stepped out from the line up, strutting to the front of the stage. Samara’s long blonde hair shone brightly in the studio lights, her bikini bearing the Union Jack and the distinctive white star’s of her country’s flag. Zazie, on the other hand, was sporting an enormous 70’s style afro, her cute ass and lovely milk chocolate tits hugged tightly by her German flag bikini.
“OK,” said Perv, “let’s meet our contestants. Samara, g’day.”
“I’d like to start, if I may, with a question about your native Australia.”
“Sure,” said the Aussie. “Lay it on me, mate.”
“Great, here goes. Samara, how often do you return to your homeland?”
“From time to time. I have a busy schedule here in the States, but I’m a proud Aussie and I like to go back whenever I can. Why’s that, Perv?”
“‘Cause you look like you might enjoy a trip down under!”
The audience fell about laughing but the contestant was far from amused.
“Never heard that one before, mate,” she replied, her face unmoved.
“But, seriously,” the host went on, “are you guys good at giving head in Australia, or do the corks on your hats keep getting in the way?”
Laughter continued from across the studio, but the contestant herself was growing increasingly annoyed. Fearing another walkout so early in the show, Perv thought it wise to end the interview early and move on to her opponent.
“So, Zazie, as you can see, we don’t like to adhere to stereotypes on this show,” he said with a grin. “But as a German, I assume there’s nothing you like more than having a big, fat sausage in your mouth?”
The Germans aren’t known for their sense of humour, but this time his joke was warmly received.
“Well, I grew up in the States, Perv,” the actress explained, “but yes, when it comes to a big piece of meat, a German woman never loses her appetite.” She winked at the camera, miming oral sex with her tongue and her cheek. “Plus, y’know…I’m black, and we all know black girls give the best head.”
“Well, I’m not gonna argue with that,” said Perv, sounding like he was speaking from experience. “So, the format’s a simple one- whoever makes their guy cum first will advance to the next round. But there are a number of rules that these girls will have to follow, so let’s hear them from the horse’s mouth. Please welcome our guest referee, singing sensation Dua Lipa!”
Like Kiernan before her, the Kosovan-Brit emerged from the backstage area with a man on each arm, bulges bouncing in their boxers as they strolled across the stage.
“Hi, Dua,” said Perv. “Ready for game number three?”
“Sure am, Perv,” the signer replied. “Got my two assistants here.”
“So I see. Are you going to introduce us?”
“Uh huh.” To her left was a big, muscular Latino man with oily, slicked back hair and extensive body ink. “This is Luis.” And to her right was a sun kissed surfer type, with deep blue eyes and long and thick blonde hair. “And this is Tyler.”
“I see. Well, they look like they’ve got the right equipment for our contest today,” said Perv, noting the two thick lumps swelling in the crotch of their undies.
“Oh, they do, Perv,” the guest ref smirked. “Believe me, they do.”
“So, Dua, you’ll be officiating this matchup. Why don’t you start by giving us a rundown of the rules?”
“Certainly. So this challenge is blowjob only. That means our contestants can use their hands and mouths, and nothing else. So no tits. You got that, ladies?” The contestants nodded. “Hands can stimulate the dick and balls only. So nothing above the belt. And no fingers in the arse. No matter how much they might enjoy it. And, most importantly of all, both of these ladies must take a cumshot to the face. We need to see that cum spraying in case it comes down to a photo finish. So anyone who takes the load in their mouth will be shown the red card.”
“OK,” said Perv, “sounds pretty clear to me. Well, with that all taken care of, I’ll leave this matchup in your capable hands. Dua, take it away.”
“Thanks, Perv. You ready, ladies?”
Both women nodded.
“Then let’s get to it. On your marks.”
The ladies got into position, dropping to their knees at the young men’s feet. Zazie before Tyler, and Samara before Luis.
The girls gripped onto the guys’ tight boxers, hooking their fingers under the waistbands.
Whipping them down in one fell swoop, both pairs of undies were pooled at the young men’s feet, baring the two thick cocks that they’d been keeping captive. Zazie lunged forward without a moment’s delay, mouth open wide as she threw herself into Tyler’s groin, swallowing his uncaged beast.
“Aw, fuck!” Tyler groaned, her lips traversing all ten inches until she kissed the base of his shaft.
“Shit!” said Perv, watching intently from the side of the stage. “Girl ain’t messin’ around!”
Her lips slid up to the crown and she popped it from between her lips, spitting a hot mess of drool across his shaft before going back for seconds.
Samara, meanwhile, had started slower. Angling Luis’ cock up towards the studio ceiling, the Australian beauty dipped down between his thighs, adopting the same approach as Gal before her as she zeroed in on his big brown ballsack. It hadn’t worked out too well for the Israeli, but the fair-haired actress was far from deterred. Enveloping a swollen testicle, she suckled upon it with greedy intent, dousing it in spittle before switching to the other. A hand gripped his pole and she jerked him steadily as she sucked on his balls, basting them liberally with her sticky saliva.
A ball fell from between her lips and she licked along the length of his shaft, probing his slit with the tip of her tongue. His dick was throbbing in the palms of her hands, and Samara teased him for close to a minute, swirling her tongue around his helmet. She was against the clock of course, but the Aussie was not to be rushed and she took the time to worship that dick as devoutly as possible.
“Fuck!” said Perv. “She’s making love to that dick, huh? While Zazie looks like she’s about to declare war! We’ll see which approach pays off.”
Finally, and with her opponent’s blowjob already some three minutes old, her shiny pink lips eased slowly apart and she wrapped them tightly around Luis' crown. Her hands found his hips and she gripped them tightly, head bobbing steadily as she sucked him off. Her lips glided up and down his shaft, leaving behind long trails of spit that dripped down steadily onto the studio floor.
Baby blue eyes gazed up into his and locks of golden hair brushed across her shoulders as she worked his member, swallowing inch after inch. The pace quickened and her cheeks hollowed inward as she blew him with greater gusto, lips edging nearer to the base. One more pass and the task was complete. Her full lips puckered at the root of his trunk and she kept him there for as long as she could, precum leaking into the depths of her throat.
Though by this stage, deepthroating was par for the course, and Zazie had performed the feat a million times over already. Hands clasping tight to Tyler’s asscheeks, she threw herself into him with wild abandon, impaling herself repeatedly on his long white pole. Her blowjob style was fast and aggressive, and Tyler’s rod had been drenched in her saliva from the very beginning. But for all her force and ferocity, Zazie lacked the finesse of her light-skinned opponent and the throbbing down Samara’s throat was far more vigorous than it was in her own.
Her fingers dug deeper into Tyler’s ass, nearly piercing his suntanned skin as she sucked him harder, her afro-topped head jerking back and forth at an alarming rate of knots. But variety is the spice of life and no matter how hard she sucked his dick, there was no denying that Zazie Beetz was a one trick pony. Samara, on the other hand, had a seemingly endless bag of tricks from which to draw from and while her opponent tried to eat young Tyler alive, the Aussie treated Luis to her entire repertoire.
A short spell of deepthroating was followed by a return to his balls and the blonde actress sucked each bloated orb with equal fervour, bathing them in spittle as she went. She moved back up to his shaft, smothering it with kisses as her lips travellend up to the head. Then, as a big, wet smooch was left upon his helmet, she made a request that was unexpected.
“Fuck my face.”
Tucking her arms behind her back, she opened her mouth as wide as it would go, offering up her oral cavity to do with as he pleased. Gripping two handfuls of glossy blonde hair, Luis slotted his big brown beast between her parted lips and promptly started thrusting. The action went to 0 to 60 in a fraction of a second, and Luis showed little restraint as he drove his dick into Samara’s face. Every pass took him straight to the hilt, and thick ropes of spit started to drip down her chin as his balls slapped against it.
An impressive feat, for sure, and Zazie responded the only way she knew how. Grasping his ass as hard as she could, Tyler’s steel buns parted like the Red Sea, the German-American using them for leverage as she pulled herself in on his dick.
“Keep your fingers from his arse crack,” Dua warned, watching Zazie like a hawk as she showed the surfer’s butthole to the world.
Zazie heard a groan from across the stage, and glanced over to see Luis’ pumping like a piston into the depths of her opponent’s throat. His face was screwed in all kinds of unflattering ways, and it was clear to anyone watching that an eruption was close at hand. Zazie knew she had to up her game and she threw herself into Tyler’s groin with everything she had, vanishing his member with the greatest of ease. She may have only had one move, but damn was she good at it, and it didn’t take long for her gripping gullet to siphon his testes dry. Samara’s mouth was having a similar effect and as Luis thrusted into her darkest depths, he and Tyler signalled their impending eruptions at the exact same time.
“Dios mio!” said Luis.
“Fuck!” said Tyler.
Then both together, “Gonna cum!”
Both men pried themselves loose, jerking themselves off with furious strokes. Zazie and Samara grabbed hold of their plums, spouting some last minute dirty talk as they attempted to milk them of every last drop.
“Yes, come on, mate,” said Samara, batting her big, blue eyes. “Empty these balls for me!”
“Mmm, do it, baby,” Zazie encouraged. “Shoot that load. All over my fucking face!”
The effect was immediate and both men went off in explosive fashion, firing thick ropes of cum onto faces both light and dark. Tyler’s ejaculate was aimed to perfection, landing in a stripe that stretched from Zazie’s chin right up to her afro hair. Luis’ was more erratic and it shot from his dick in hot spurts that peppered every inch of Samara’s face.
“Wow!” Perv exclaimed. “Two big loads. But which was first. Dua, any ideas?”
“Can’t say for sure, Perv,” the singer replied. “I’m gonna have to consult the screen.”
Dua paid a visit to the big ref’s monitor at the side of the stage, watching carefully as the footage replayed in super slo mo and from every camera angle imaginable.
“Hear that, folks? It’s come down to a photo finish. Our ref will review the footage to determine which of those cumshots struck skin first. Dua, how’s it looking over there?” Perv waited but received no reply. “Dua?”
The camera cut back to the celebrity ref, who appeared to be finding the footage more than a little distracting. Leaning against a wall with her eyeballs glued to the screen, a hand had found its way beneath the waistband of her shorts and was rummaging around in there with tremendous relish as two thick wads of spunk struck the contestant’s faces on an endless loop.
Perv rolled his eyes, yelling across the stage at the top of his voice. “DUA!”
Finally he got her attention and the singer froze mid-thrum like a rabbit in the headlights.
“Oh, sorry about that, Perv,” she said casually, retrieving her hand from her shorts. “This footage is fucking hot! Anyway, yeah…Samara’s the winner.”
The audience cheered and the director cut to a close up of Samara’s cum-drenched face as she shrieked in celebration.
“Well, how about that, folks?” said Perv. “Samara wins by the tightest of margins and joins Lea and Millie in the second round. Tough luck, Zazie. A valiant effort, but I guess it’s true what they say. Slow and steady really does win the race. Put your hands together for our two contestants and our guest ref, Dua Lipa!”
Applause rang around the studio and the camera returned to the celebrity ref, still ‘reviewing’ the cumshot footage with the utmost diligence.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Perv snapped. “Will someone turn this fucking screen off?!”
Someone in the crew finally did their job and Dua groaned as the glorious images vanished from before her eyes.
“Aww, Peeerv! I was watching that!” She grabbed hold of Tyler and Luis, and escorted them both backstage. “Guess I’ll have to make some of my own!”
A production assistant rushed out onto the stage, offering wet wipes to Zazie and Samara, and they cleaned the cum from their faces as they rejoined their fellow contestants. Game 4Sofía Vergara
(COL) vs. Camila Cabello
Referee: Miley Cyrus
Judge 1: Jennifer Lopez
Judge 2: Iggy Azalea
Judge 3: Becky G
“OK,” said Perv, “there’s just enough time for one more matchup before we take a short break. A big hand, please, for our next contestants. From the balmy climes of Cuba and Colombia, Camila Cabello and Sofia Vergara!”
Two gorgeous women stepped forward from the back of the stage, moving in tandem with sexy Spanish rhythm. A quick thinking cameraman moved in behind them, filling his lens with ass as he followed them across the stage.
“Ola, senoritas!” said Perv, watching every jiggle and bounce. “So, we’ve had a great start to the show this evening, and what better way to round out part one than with a good old-fashioned twerk off?”
The crowd whooped and applauded as the women turned, sticking out their booties and clapping their cheeks right back at them.
“Woah! Save it for the game, ladies!” the host quipped, receiving rare boos from the audience as the ass shaking came to a halt. “But this is no ordinary twerking contest, and to advance to the next round, these ladies are gonna have to make a man cum using just those big, round buttcheeks of theirs. Camila, is that something you think you can do?”
“Hmm, I don’t know, Perv,” Camila replied. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Then, before he had a chance to react, the Cuban songstress backed her ass up into the host’s groin and started grinding her cheeks against his dick. For the first time in his career, Perv Griffin was lost for words and he stood there like a statue as that big, blue and white striped booty slid up and down his slacks. Camila peered back at him from over her shoulder, swishing locks of shiny, dark hair across his face.
“What do you think, Perv? Think I can do it?”
“Hmm, I’m still not sure,” the host replied, his dick swelling beneath his pants. “Maybe you oughta keep going for just a little while longer.”
“No, I think you’re right,” the singer grinned. "I should save it for the game.”
And with that, those huge, brown asscheeks were peeled from around his rod, leaving the host with a tube-shaped lump that stretched the fabric of his pants.
“Phew!” he whistled, puffing his bright red cheeks. “Well, I don’t think Camila’s gonna have any trouble with this game. Just look what she did to my dick! Thank God there’s an ad break coming up!” he quipped, drawing fits of laughter from across the studio.
He turned to her opponent, but kept a safe distance, knowing full well that further physical contact would result in a stain on his trousers.
“Sofia, you’re twice the age of your opponent today, so I think it would be fair to say that experience is on your side.”
“Si, claro,” the actress replied. She thrust out her ass and smacked it hard, sending ripples through both her cheeks. “I’ve been shaking this fat ass since her parents were in high school!”
“So you think your experience will be the deciding factor today?”
“Si. Plus I have these big titties too,” said Sofia, jiggling her large DDs. “You have to know how to use your assets.”
“OK, sounds like it’s gonna be one hell of a contest today. And who better to preside over it than the woman who brought twerking into the mainstream? Give it up for our celebrity ref, Miley Cyrus!”
Miley strutted out onto the stage in her skimpy ref’s attire, accompanied as standard by two very handsome men; a white guy named Logan and a black guy named Isaiah. Reaching the front of the stage, the singer turned and stuck out her ass, baring the number 69 on the back of her jersey as she gave it a wiggle for the cameras.
“Hi, Miley,” said Perv. “Thanks for joining us. Are you excited to ref our twerk off today?”
“Sure am, Perv,” she replied, in her familiar husky voice. “I’d rather be competing, but hey, should still be fun, right?”
“Looks like these guys wish you were competing too,” the host observed, Miley’s two companions watching closely as she shook her ass.
The singer laughed. “Well, I might not have a big butt like these two,” she said, pointing at the contestants, “but I sure know how to work it. Ain’t that right, boys?”
“Fuck yeah, it is!” said Logan.
“Mmm,” Isaiah agreed. “White gurl got some moves!”
“Damn!” said Perv. “These guys really like your ass, huh?”
“Uh huh. And they’ll like it even more by the end of the show,” said Miley, a suggestive wink aimed at the nearest camera.
“I’m sure they will. Right, it’s about time we read out those rules. Miley, could you do the honours?”
“Sure.” The twerking stopped, drawing groans from the audience as she turned to face them. “OK, y’all, listen up. These bitches gotta get these guys with their ass cheeks only. That means no stroking, no sucking, and most importantly, no penetration.” She looked at Isaiah and Logan. “Hear that, fellas? Those buttholes might be tempting, but stick your dick in one and your partner will forfeit the game. And I know you don’t want that, huh, guys?” The men shook their heads and a grin stretched across Miley’s face. “Good boys.”
“Thanks, Miley,” said Perv. “Now a game like this is all about technique, and to determine whose is best, we’re gonna need some judges. From the US and Australia, three of the best butts in the business, please welcome Jennifer Lopez, Iggy Azalea and Becky G!”
The crowd cheered as the curvaceous trio marched out onto the stage, stopping for a threeway ass shake on their way to the judge’s desk.
“Wow!” Perv grinned. “That’s a lotta booty, huh? All you ass-guys must be in heaven.”
The judges filed in behind the desk, parking their three large bottoms on the leather chairs.
“OK, let’s get to know our judges. And where better to start than the Ass Queen herself, Miss Jennifer Lopez. Jenny, thirty years in the biz and looking better than ever. Hard to believe that ass is over fifty years old!”
“Right? Still in pretty good shape, huh?” said J.Lo, rising from her seat to give her big butt another enticing jiggle.
“I’ll say!” said Perv. “And of course you have judging experience from your time on American Idol
. What’s your main criteria for a good ass shake?”
“For me, Perv, as a professional dancer and chart-topping artist, tempo and rhythm are key. You can have a great butt and all the hottest moves, but if you got no flow, then I’m afraid it’s a ‘no’!”
“I see. Iggy, how about you?”
“Well, rhythm and flow are important, of course, but you gotta have them moves to a T. I wanna see those arses shake. I wanna see those cheeks clap. And if you’re shaking it for a bloke, then eye contact is very important too.”
“OK. And lastly, Miss Becky G.”
“For me, it’s all about la pasión. My ass isn’t as big as these two ladies, but what I lack in volume, I more than make up for with energy and enthusiasm. And that’s what I want to see from our girls. I wanna see them shaking what their mama gave ‘em like it’s the last thing they’ll ever do. A little spunk goes a hell of a long way!”
“Bit like in our handjob round!” Perv quipped, pausing for the laughter that inevitably followed. “Well, thank you, ladies. We’ll be back to check in with you later, but I think it’s time we saw some twerking. Miley, over to you.”
“Thanks, Perv. OK, first things first, we’re gonna need some chairs. Boys.”
She signalled to two PAs at the side of the stage who brought on a pair of wooden dining chairs, placing them side by side.
“Thank you, boys. OK, guys, take a seat.”
The PAs scurried off the stage as Logan and Isaiah made use of the new furniture.
“Ladies, into position.”
The contestants squatted before the two men, booties hovering just inches from their groins. Miley blew her whistle and rap music blared through the studio speakers as the game got underway. Camila leapt into action, parking her ass on Logan’s crotch as quickly as her reactions would allow. Sofia, meanwhile, had taken a more measured approach. Ass still poised over Isaiah’s groin, she rolled her hips with sensual rhythm, gyrating her booty to the hip hop beats. There was a noticeable stir in the black man’s groin and his fingers twitched as they rested on his thighs, dying to latch onto the thick, tanned butt that was moving so majestically before him.
“Oh, shit! I almost forgot,” Miley grinned, peering over Isaiah’s shoulders, “these lapdances are full contact, so these guys can touch as much as they like. But no stroking yourselves. You hear that, buddy? You lay as much as a finger on that big black dick and your partner will be disqualified, OK?”
Isaiah nodded and put his hands to Sofia’s ass, caressing her cheeks as they shimmied and shook.
“Smack it,” said Sofia, peering back at him from over her shoulder.
Isaiah didn’t need a second invitation, and his fingers cut through the air as he delivered a sharp blow that carried through the entire studio.
“Ay! Si, papi!” the actress whined, and a cameraman zoomed in close on the big red paw print left behind on her jiggling ass.
The hands on approach was proving popular with the guys and stretches of smooth, bronzed flesh bulged through the gaps in Logan’s fingers as he grabbed two palmfuls of big Cuban ass. His dick began to grow as Camila’s twin cheeks ground firmly against it, pulling at his tighty whities and stretching them to the point of bursting. His crown popped out from the hem and his skimpy smalls snapped back into place, pinning his dick to his thigh.
“Oh, damn!” said Miley, practically drooling as she gazed down at his swollen appendage. “Look who’s come to say hello!”
Camila straddled Logan’s thigh and guided her ass along the length of his shaft; a veiny tube stretching halfway to his kneecap. Her huge, round buttcheeks sheathed his girth to perfection, and he could feel the heat radiating from her pussy as she ground it against him. Precum dripped from his crown, leaving a sticky puddle on his tattooed thigh. He was fit to burst already, and Camila knew that a few more strokes of her ass on his dick would set it off like a stick of dynamite. But it wasn’t a race and the Cuban songstress wished to showcase some more of her moves before she brought her man to climax.
Peeling her asscheeks from around his shaft, she left it twitching against his inked up thigh. Tugging at the ties on her bottoms, she loosened the garments with practised ease, tossing them onto the studio floor. Digging her fingers into both huge globes, she gripped them firmly and pulled them apart. Bending at the waist, she spread her cheeks as wide as they’d go, showing off her puckered butthole.
“Fuck my ass,” she said, peering back at Logan with a wink of an eye.
Logan stood and Miley watched closely, ensuring that the demand wasn’t taken literally. But Logan understood and he slapped his dick into the singer's asscrack, wrapping her cheeks around his thick, throbbing pipe.
Isaiah, meanwhile, remained glued to his chair, his dick now freed from its restrictive garments. Sofia’s backside was thrust out before him, a hand gripped lightly to the tip of his penis as she ground her thick ass cheeks against it. She dipped and squatted to the beat of the music, feeling his black cock pulse in her ass crack as she worked his shaft like a stripper on the pole. Every pass took her straight to the hilt and her ass globes rippled as they clapped on the tops of his thighs.
“Si, papi!” came a voice to her left. “Fuck that big ass!”
Sofia looked over as Logan sawed his dick between her opponent’s buttcheeks, noting the intense throbbing in the veins of his shaft as it sliced through the mountainous flesh. His cock was about to explode in spectacular fashion, and the Colombian knew she had to up the ante if Isaiah’s emission was going to match it. Backing up into his lap, Sofia pushed his dick back until it touched his abs, trapping it between his midriff and her own curvaceous behind. Leaning forward at the waist, she slid her ass up and down his dick, feeling it twitch between her thick, brown cheeks. Her pussy was soaking wet, and every bump and grind left a trail of sticky arousal smeared along his underside.
Both men were on cloud nine, especially Logan, who was hotdogging Camila’s big booty like it was going out of style. Hips pumping at a mile a minute, he gripped on tight to her plump, round cheeks, slicing through her crack like a knife through butter. Logan gazed down at her peach-shaped tushy as he fucked her cheeks, her asshole winking at him with each pass he took. It was beyond tempting, and there was nothing he wanted more than to push his crown into that puckered starfish and pound it into next July. But he managed to resist, knowing full well that getting his partner disqualified would greatly reduce his chances of getting in that ass at the end of the show.
Besides, fucking her buttcheeks was great on its own, and the feeling of those meaty orbs wrapped around his rod was like nothing he’d experienced before. His balls were bulging, churning incessantly as they slapped against the singer’s coochie. They were crying out to be emptied and Logan answered the call, sawing his dick through her buttcheeks with very little self-control.
“Oh, fuck!” he yelped and Camila felt his dick stiffen further as it wedged in the depths of her crack.
Suddenly his balls were flush against her snatch and his dick pointed up like a cannon as a thick torrent of off-white goop burst forth from his swollen crown. It soared through the air like a bullet, and Camila’s lips curled up in a satisfied grin as it splattered between her shoulder blades, messing her long, dark hair.
Isaiah was quick to follow, and his shaft twitched between Sofia’s buttcheeks, before a long stripe of cum was fired across his muscular torso.
“Aw, shit! Goddamn!” he panted, a final few globs of semen leaking out from his helmet as she ground on his pulsing shaft.
Rising slowly from his lap, she gave her booty one last shake as she left him to recover.
“Phew!” Perv exclaimed, whistling sharply as he returned to centre stage. “What a game that was! Some great moves from all ‘round, but let’s see what our judges thought of it. Jenny, your score for Sofia, please.”
Jennifer Lopez: 10.0
“Wow!” said Perv. “A high score for your fellow MILF!”
“Uh huh,” said J.Lo. “Us mamas gotta stick together!”
“So what did you like about her performance today?”
“I loved how she moved to the music. She has a real natural rhythm, and it's great to see a woman of her age working her body with so much confidence. Magnifica!”
“High praise indeed. Iggy?”
Iggy Azalea: 7.5
“OK, not bad, not bad. What did you enjoy, and what do you think she could’ve improved on?”
“Well, Perv,” Iggy explained, “like my mate here says, she moved her body very well and she clearly has those moves on lock. But it was all a bit bumpy and grindy, and I’d have liked to have seen her mix it up a bit more. Variety is the spice of life.”
“Ain’t that the truth. Becky, how about you?”
Becky G: 6.0
“A little on the low side there, Becky. Could you explain your score for us, please?”
“Well, it was very slow and sensual. Which is fine; sometimes you’ve gotta tease your guy a bit, and I know she’s kinda old, but energy is very important, and there was a clear lack of it in her performance today.”
“Maldita cabrona!” Sofia muttered. The low score she could handle, but the ‘old’ remark was a step too far.
“OK, so that gives Sofia an average score of 7.8. Not too shabby at all. Now onto Miss Cabello. Jenny, back to you.”
Jennifer Lopez: 4.5
“Yikes!” said Perv. “That’s gotta hurt, huh, Camila? Jenny, why the low score?”
“Well, it was a very vibrant performance, but…”
“Don’t tell me,” Perv interrupted. “Rhythm?”
“Got it in one, Perv! You can shake your ass as hard as you like, but it ain’t nothin’ without that flow! And from a dancer of her talents, I expected a lot better.”
“Damn! Girl ain’t holdin’ back! Let’s see what our Aussie thought of it. Iggy.”
Iggy Azalea: 9.5
“Well, that’s a bit better, huh? What did you like about that, Iggy?”
“Everything, mate! Loved the moves. Loved the energy. Loved seeing that big cock between those arse cheeks. And I loved
seeing it fucking explode!”
“Strewth!” said Perv, adopting his best Australian accent. “Well, how about that, cobbers? I think a score like that deserves another shrimp on the barbie!” he quipped, to the amusement of everyone but the Aussie herself. “And finally Miss Becky G.”
Becky G: 10.0
“Vamos!” screamed Camila, punching the air in celebration.
“Dios mio!” Perv exclaimed. “You liked that then, Becky?”
“I loved it, Perv! It was so fiery and raw. So many great moves, and you could see the passion flowing through her as she shook her butt. What more can you ask for? Diez perfecto!”
“Well, there you have it, guys. Great performances from both our contestants, but who came out on top? The points have been tallied and I can officially reveal that, with her average score of 8.0, Camila Cabello has seen off the competition and earned herself a spot in the quarter finals!”
The crowd cheered, hollering loudly as the victor broke into a vigorous bout of celebratory twerking.
“Bravo, Camila, and commiserations to her opponent, Miss Sofia Vergara.”
The audience applauded and the contestants gathered their discarded bikini bottoms as they returned to the back of the stage.
“And thanks again to our magnificent judges, and our guest referee, Miley Cyrus!”
The judges filed out from behind the desk, giving their asses one last wiggle before exiting the stage. Miley grabbed hold of her two assistants and a cameraman followed her across the stage as she led both men to her dressing room.
“Well, that’s it for part one,” Perv announced. “We’re gonna take a short break, but we’ll be right back with the conclusion of our first round. Don’t go away.”End of Part One