00 Bridgers
Author's Note: I have another story here for everyone. I tried something different this time. There'll be some sexual stuff, but no actual full on sex scene. I figured it'd be more fun that way. I thought the idea of Phoebe Bridgers as a spy would be really fun to try out, and I added rappers Lil Wayne and Chief Keef in here cause I like their music. There's also some special surprise people showing up at the end, although those that read this on AO3 already know who they are. I just like to mash up people who I enjoy into stories and situations, that's my weirdness for you. This could be an ongoing series, I'm not sure.
Celebs Featured: Phoebe Bridgers, Chief Keef, Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, Connor Colquhoun
Singer songwriter and secret agent Phoebe Bridgers was sitting at her desk, simply filing secret documents while also thinking of song ideas. She was lost in her own world, content with just letting her thoughts wander while she worked. This wasn't to last though.
“BRIDGERS!”
The yell that came from behind her caused Phoebe to jump slightly, but she managed to snap to attention quickly. It was her boss standing right behind her, no doubt to tell her to risk her life again.
“Yes, sir.”
“There is a robbery at the bank a couple miles from here.”
“Couldn't you call the cops to deal with it or something? I don't see why we have to get involved.”
“I would. Except for the fact that we don't know where the gang who committed the robbery are hiding at. We also know that they're smuggling drugs as well as other highly illegal things across many boarders. We need you to go and find them and extract the location of their hideout from at least one of the members by any means necessary.”
“Are you implying that I have to seduce another criminal? You know I hate doing that.”
“It might be the only way. I'll send you everything you need to know as soon as you leave.”
After some grumbling, Phoebe got ready to leave. She made sure to keep a ton of weapons on her just to be safe. She then got into a new car, which was given to her by the higher ups. She was so excited to see what kinds of cool spy gadgets would be inside it. At least that was one thing to look forward to.
When she was finally driving, she got the info she needed. It turned out that rappers Lil Wayne and Chief Keef, guys who were loaded and in Wayne's case even richer than Phoebe, decided to rob places just because they were feeling bored. She also got word that a couple other agents were coming through to help, although didn't get much about who they were. She hadn't met them before, and only knew that they were going to be able to “finish the job”, although she had no idea about what exactly that meant.
When she finally arrived at the bank, the two rappers, as well as a bunch of other gang members seemed to be in the process of robbing the place, although she noticed that they were doing more pointing guns at people than actually stealing any money. She could hear Wayne yelling that it was super cool and fun to just show off guns, even with no cameras around.
“See this one here, it's an AK. It go spray if you don't give me the pay.”
Chief Keef grabbed the money while Wayne held out his massive AK 47 and pointed it at anyone in their path. Phoebe could've just gone in there and shot everyone dead, but she knew what her mission was. Using her spy skills, she snuck up behind a man who appeared to be in his 20's who just seemed to be staring at the two rappers with a look of awe on his face.
“How about you and me get out of here?”
The man, who's name wasn't important to Phoebe, almost had a heart attack when he heard the voice of a random woman behind him. He got even more freaked out when he saw a pistol pointed at his head. He decided to follow her in order to save his own skin. He knew that if Wayne or Keef found out about him leaving his position, they'd probably shoot him right in the head, but the woman's voice sounded pretty hot and he didn't want to meet the pistol she had pointed in his face.
They went to her car, although phoebe took precautions to make sure that the man didn't see anything that might give away the car as a spy car. She always hated any time she had to seduce anyone who was part of a criminal organization, but she knew what had to be done.
“So, uh, why did you bring me here? I've never tried car sex before, I can't wait to tell all the boys about it. I'm gonna score with a chick who brought me to her car in less than five minutes of meeting her. This is so awesome, dude.”
Phoebe, not being well versed in the dude bro dialect, just kissed him in order to shut him up. He was a horrible kisser, although she'd had worse. She started to pull her shirt over her head, making the guy entranced by her breasts, even though her black bra was still keeping them decently hidden.
“Now, I'm going to ask you an important question. If you want this to go any further, and you want me to give you the greatest fuck of your life, you'll tell me where the hideout of your bosses is. Actually, you can just type it right here into this phone while I get ready.”
Phoebe handed him a burner phone which was reserved for stuff like this. As he typed in the address, Phoebe put on a little show as she started to undo and pull down her pants. The guy was practically a shaking wreck as he watched her. That however would be the last thing he got to see that day, as he didn't hear Phoebe pulling out a knife and creeping up behind him.
Phoebe, after putting her clothes back on and placing the knife back in it's place, threw the body of the criminal somewhere were it wouldn't be seen by any regular civilians. She then contacted her boss, updating him on the situation. Now it was off to the warehouse to finally put a stop to this whole thing and get back to songwriting.
She pressed one of the buttons in her car, expecting it to be a super speed button, only to discover that it just turned on an extra air vent. She kept trying to press other buttons, hoping they'd do something cool, but they just seemed to do basic things. She decided to call her boss to complain and ask a couple other questions.
“What the hell! Why doesn't this car have all those cool gadgets that are in all those spy movies? That's like half the reason I took the job, I want a cool car!”
“That's not how that works. I knew hiring you was a great idea. I can tell that you like doing the investigating and shooting stuff, but it's not all like the movies. Your reactions to all our equipment is always funny.
“Who are those other two agents you said would be helping me? You just told me they're Agent G and Agent C. That doesn't give me much to work with. How do I know that they'll help me when I don't even know them? I already called the police, if they're having a shootout with the gang, how do I know that I won't end up dead?”
“You can count on them, they've never failed once.”
When Phoebe arrived at the warehouse , she was correct about a shootout. Gunfire was flying in all directions, although just like last time, the two rappers who she thought were the brains behind the operation were just talking about how this makes things more authentic and were even throwing out ideas for new songs as the bullets flew around.
Phoebe got ready, pulling out a few assault rifles in case she needed to take some more lives today. As she was searching around the place, disarming landmines and recovering illegally obtained items, she then saw a car similar to her own pull up, two masked men seated in it, although only one stepped out. Chief Keef then grabbed a megaphone off a table, demanding that his crew stop firing for a few seconds. He knew who the man who just pulled up was. It was his good friend Gucci Mane, holding a massive shotgun and walking up to Keef and Wayne with a panicked look on his face. Even as the three rappers talked, with Gucci saying he could probably attempt to help the other two get lighter sentences in jail for their crimes, the gunfire continued, and Gucci kept firing his gun at anyone who got too close, no matter what side they were on. Phoebe noticed that he avoided hitting her at all costs, so he must be agent G.
Then a deep, British voice was heard as the other man stepped out of the other spy car.
“LET'S GOOO!”
The second man who stepped out of the car was covered head to toe in weapons, a rocket launcher clutched in one of his hands. After he made his introduction, he fired at everything and anyone, but not before stopping when he found Phoebe, introducing himself as Connor, otherwise known as CdawgVA, Agent C. Phoebe was a bit scared of him, he seemed to be enjoying destroying everything and blowing things up a bit too much, but she knew that they were on the same side, so she knew she'd get to live another day.
After about an hour of constant gunfire, the place was left empty, all the criminals arrested and all the items returned to HQ along with Phoebe, Connor and Gucci Mane. Phoebe was just happy to be alive, and was happy that she had completed another mission and kept the public safe. What she needed right then was a nice mug of tea and time to get back to songwriting.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed. I wanted to do this for a bit now, I finally put everything together. I knew I wanted to include Connor and Gucci Mane in here for a while now. The thought of Connor just blasting everything and blowing everything up and going crazy was just too good. Wayne and Keef were gonna be added from the start too, although I know I didn't give them too much to do. I know Keef is like a kind of quieter guy and doesn't even talk too much in interviews, so I hope me not giving him not too much to say wasn't too bad. I at least made Wayne attempt to come up with some new lyrics as he was robbing a place. I knew Phoebe Bridgers as a spy would be fun, I wanted to make her someone who enjoys being a spy, but doesn't like some parts of the job like any seduction and the fact that the cars aren't like the ones in some James Bond movies with all the cool gadgets. Not sure if I'll make this an ongoing series, but it could maybe happen if I come up with anymore ideas. Also it was really easy to come up with the title, which is usually really difficult for me. I hope you enjoyed, have a good day.
Topic: 00 Bridgers: Rappers Be Robbers (Read 4870 times)