Celebs Featured: Phoebe Bridgers, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, Chloe Bailey, Yeat, Lizzy Mcalpine
Author's Note: Yep, Agent Phoebe Bridgers is back. I have a decent number of ideas for this story already, with an end goal already planned out. I was reading another series with Scarlett Johansson in an extremely similar role, and that gave me some ideas. I'm gonna give Phoebe different partners to go with on these missions most of the time, she's mostly gonna play the only sane woman to everyone, including her boss, who is now officially Samuel L. Jackson. Thanks to my friend Taylor for coming up with that one. The partners are there to help, but they might end up messing up the mission more than the villains with their own eccentricities. Enjoy this one, featuring new people I've never written before. The villain in this one, rapper Yeat speaking in one word sentences showing that he's so powerful, he can just say words, usually his own made up words (these are actual words he's said at one point in time, they're not words I made up, goes for the sign on his headquarters too) and his minions will do anything he needs them to do. This episode's title is a reference to the fact that both of Phoebe's partners, while good people trying to help out with the mission, keep distracting her with their own weird quirks. Enjoy.
Phoebe Bridgers was finally taking some time off of singing, songwriting and being a secret agent. Well she was still writing small things on her phone to use in songs later, but since she wasn't in the studio, it didn't count in her mind. But as luck would have it, her phone started to ring. Looking at the number, she wanted to curse ever being a secret agent.
“What's the case this time?”
“Bridgers, glad you picked up on the first ring. So here's the rundown. We've been hearing talk of some trucks, all with the letter T on them going to some building that's heavily guarded. We're not sure what they're shipping,, but we've got a feeling that it's not good. I'm sending Agent Bailey and Agent Larson, who'll be working with you on this case to pick you up so you can go investigate. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of all this.”
“Agent Bailey? You mean Halle, right? She's pretty chill. I mean yeah Brie is a handful, but Halle is cool.”
“Nope. You got Chloe. Halle is off on another job. Have fun.”
Phoebe hung up, knowing if she tried to make a snarky remark, she'd have an earful of yelling and F bombs that just might break her phone from the inside out. She wasn't looking forward to working with the most sex obsessed woman she knew and another who's driving could be best described as chaotically destructive at the best of times.
A car pulled up to her house, and to most people it would seem like something that should've been scrapped years ago. It was dented all over, the paint was practically all chipped off, and it looked like a few parts were straight up missing. Behind the wheel sat a woman who was just casually relaxing and waiting, while the other woman who was sitting in the back was being watched by her, worried she might start trying to cop a feel of her while they waited for their partner to show up.
When Phoebe got into the car, the woman in the back seemed overjoyed to see her and grabbed her before she even got her seat belt on.
“Phoebe! I missed you!”. The woman hugged Phoebe, while very blatantly trying to feel her up.
“Hi, Brie, hi, Chloe. I'm surprised you two made it here in one piece considering Chloe's driving skills.”
“I hate riding with her! She drove passed the sex shop! I mean come on, that's my favorite place. But nope, she'd rather drive through it, flip the car over and land in another store before getting back on the road. And I thought she was supposed to be the fun sister between her and Halle.”. Phoebe decided to not comment on Brie's complaints about the drive, mainly because Chloe's icy glare she had fixed on Brie did all the talking while she got her seat belt on.
They continued to drive, while attempting to find any of the trucks they were assigned to follow, speculating on what the big letter T they all had on them stood for.
“I hope it stands for “take someone hot back to my place so I can fuck them while they're handcuffed!””. Brie said, her mind where it always was, on sex.
“You can't be serious. Do you actually think that? I think it stands for oh my god Chloe, you almost ran over a child! I'm trying to think here, and you almost murdered someone!”. Phoebe's thoughts were interrupted by Chloe's driving, which was surely racking up enough property damage charges to have her sent to jail for life.
“Sorry. I'm not good at this sort of thing. Which is why I've never returned this car. If I ever did any sort of test driving of a new one, they'd not let me keep it. I'm still not sure how I've still got my license, honestly.”. Chloe continued to drive, managing to avoid hitting any human beings, but somehow managing to hit everything else, including trees, birds, other cars and even buildings. Not helping Phoebe's thinking was Brie, who decided to spend her time on the drive not looking for the trucks, but looking at any people who passed by and saying how hot they were, while moving closer to Phoebe, sometimes even attempting to get a touch or two on Chloe while she was driving. Chloe suddenly actually found one of the trucks, and informed the others.
“I'm going full speed! Woo!”
“Let me grab the wheel, please. I don't wanna get killed today.”
“Never! I'm never letting anyone drive this car, not even my own sister! This car is my baby!”. They surprisingly managed to catch up to the truck and parked the car before getting out and following the people who got out of the truck, who appeared to be carrying quite a few guns, drugs and other criminal essentials on them.
They walked up to a building that had a very strange sign in front of it.
Yeat's Tonka Twizzy House. Only Yeat beats aloud. Do not bring anything in that's not produced by the man himself in here. Only the Shmunkyest can come in.
“What? What does any of that even mean?”. All three women were insanely confused, but Brie, using her strength, just simply ripped the entire front door off before casually tossing it to the side. It was time to go inside and confront this Yeat, whoever he was. Chloe lead the way, do to her being the quickest on her feet. Even Phoebe had to admit, while her driving might be the worst, her actual physical speed was unmatched.
They made it to a room where a bunch of people appeared to be passing weapons and drugs among other things to someone in a chair, they're face obscured in the shadows. The three spy's wondered if they should just make a move now and just shoot everyone, although Brie really wanted to fuck them all before killing them. However, before that could happen, the faceless person revealed themselves, only to be the rapper Yeat, shocking no one.
“Gross, ew, I totally wouldn't fuck him.” Brie said. This caught the attention of everyone else in the room, who began pointing guns at the spy's.
“I know what to do. I’m gonna go and try to deal with that Yeat guy. You two, try to distract those dudes with the guns by doing what Brie’s best at.”. Chloe then walked up to Brie, and gave her a kiss. Brie returned it and seemed to be trying to suck Chloe’s soul out with just her lips. They then got to taking off they're clothing, and to Chloe and Phoebe’s non surprise, Brie wore nothing under her shirt and pants.
Phoebe easily took down Yeat, who kept shouting orders such as “Tonka!” and “Twizzy!” at his henchmen, only for Phoebe to take them down with ease even as they began to attack and shoot at her. One of the henchmen chilling in a corner of the room away from the action decided to remove all his clothes and pulled out a mirror, practicing some sort of strange self-love pleasure thing. Brie, ever the one noticing sexual stuff, went over to him as he half-whispered his own name and how great he was, wanting to help him get off. When she reached a hand out to touch the man's dick, he pulled out a knife.
“HEY! No one gets in the way of my self-love sessions! Not even the boss!”
Brie, offended at being rejected by him, backhanded him across the face before picking him up by his dick and balls, and after also twisting his knife arm, threw him through a window.
“That takes care of that fucker. Chloe, stay where you are. I’m not done with you yet.”. Chloe happily did as instructed, although wondered why Brie hadn’t turned it into a threesome with Phoebe. After running back to Chloe, Brie quickly had Chloe place her head between her thighs.
“This really is the life. But if you try to bite my tits like you did that one time, I'm going to backhand you.”. The guards were truly distracted. Phoebe was as well though, but it wasn't her fault that Brie had great breasts and muscles that she could just get lost in. Chloe tried to move away, thinking she had gotten Brie off already, but Brie flexing her leg muscles around her head made it clear she wasn't going anywhere till Brie was satisfied. Phoebe managed to knock out Yeat and most of his minions, all the while thinking of how strong Brie looked and wondering if she should ask her for her workout tips. She knew Lizzy would be impressed if she randomly bulked up and became as strong as Brie was, especially cause both of them admitted that they liked the look of a strong badass woman. Even if Lizzy told her multiple times that Phoebe was already badass enough without being all that muscular.
“I'm just calling the boss to tell him everything, I know him and the guys can take care of this now. Can't believe the T stood for Tonka the whole time.”
“I'll give you three minutes to deal with all that. I am going to get off at least once, and if I'm not, I'm stealing another of you and Lizzy’s guitars and handcuffing you to me for the rest of the month.”. Phoebe knew Brie wasn't kidding either, she still didn't forgive her for taking one of her and Lizzy’s guitars for herself once. But her and Lizzy trying to get it back had the couple waking up the next morning with extremely sore nipples and well everything else. She managed to get to her phone without alerting the guards, who were still watching Brie and Chloe, the former now eating the latter out while she praised her.
“I just sent you the location of the weapons' trucks. Why did you pare me up with these two? All Brie did was talk about sex the whole time, and Chloe almost killed me and at least fifty others! I hope my next partner is one who's more normal.”
“No promises. But we'll be on our way. Please, put some clothes on, that goes for Agents Larson and Bailey too. I don't need to see any of that.”
“How did you know? I’m still fully dressed, by the way.”
“Trust me, I know what working with them is like. If Agent Larson keeps all her clothes on during a mission, then she's probably a clone and should be taken into the police.”. Phoebe, after giving some more details turned her attention to Brie and Chloe.
“Girls! We're leaving. Get dressed and let's go.”. Brie was pretty upset, but Chloe reassured Brie that they'd have some more fun when they went back to one of they're houses. It was decided that Brie's house was the one they'd go back to, do to it being the closest. Phoebe really didn’t wanna deal with anymore of Chloe's driving, so called Lizzy to come pick her up.
While driving to Brie's place, Chloe almost ran over more things and even knocked down three telephone poles and a few streetlights but paid it no mind. During the drive, Brie told Chloe about Lizzy and Phoebe’s relationship, and that while she might be a perve who openly lusts after almost anything that walks, she does have limits and would never have sex with a taken woman unless she got explicit permission from both people first. Phoebe, comfortably sitting in the passenger’s seat of her girlfriend’s car but continuing to follow Brie and Chloe to see what they’d get up to on the way to Brie’s house, had to admit, these two could be distractions, but they were friendly distractions, and they're quirks at least made them interesting to hang around.
“Something on your mind?” Lizzy noticed Phoebe watching them drive away and staring at them more than usual. Usually she couldn’t wait to be rid of her coworkers as soon as the mission was done.
“Sorry love. I was just thinking of all the weird people I work with. They get on my nerves sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus it’s all worth it when I can come back home every night to the woman I love the most. You’re really my everything.”
“I love you too. Now let’s go home, I’ll make your favorite for dinner. I know what I’ll be having for dessert.” Lizzy said with a wink, which made Phoebe blush.
The End
Author's Note: That's the second one. Hope you enjoyed. I figured making Chloe a crazy driver would be a lot of fun. Even if I myself don't know much about that since I've never driven. Brie being a sex obsessed pervey dom was in my head from the beginning even before Chloe was added. I figured having Yeat as the bad guy would be funny, and writing his building sign was super fun and funny. Also Brie stealing one of Phoebe and Lizzy's guitars is something she could do, considering she used to be a singer, and even sometimes still posts clips of her singing from time to time. So she'd want one of the couple’s just to practice with or use if she couldn't find her own. Originally, the chapter was a lot different, with Brie actually having a threesome with Phoebe and Chloe and Chloe being the one to defeat Yeat and the minions, with Phoebe being the one to have sex with Brie with Chloe joining afterward. That changed when I gave Phoebe a relationship. I was listening to Lizzy Mcalpine’s album Five Seconds Flat and the thought of her being a love interest for this story popped into my head while I was vibing to the music. You’ll see some more of Lizzy in future parts of the story, although she’s not a main character.
Topic: 00 Bridgers Episode 2: Friendly Distractions (Read 4484 times)