Big Bang Theory-Leonard Gets Lost
(fictional story about fictional characters)
This is a stand-alone story.
(dp, dpp, gang, object, fist)
Ascending the stairs to her fourth floor apartment, Penny could hear yelling coming from 4A and just shook her head in acknowledgment: the nerds were arguing again. She smiled at the mental picture of her lovable boyfriend, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, exchanging words with his annoying, but brilliant roommate, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Since she had stopped at Costco on her way home from the Cheesecake Factory and was carrying two large grocery bags, Penny went straight to her apartment across the hall before attempting to intervene in the discussion. Quickly shedding her loathsome waitress uniform and donning a favorite pair of black leggings and a loose-fitting Hello Kitty t-shirt, she wandered over, and without knocking entered her neighbors apartment.
Even in the midst of an argument, Sheldon jerked his head toward the door and demanded, "have I taught you nothing...I didn't hear a knock."
Sarcastically, Penny replied, "I tried to knock but my neighbors were making so much noise, you probably didn't hear me."
"I hear everything," he assured her.
"It's true," Howard Wolowitz added, "he has Vulcan hearing." Howard worked with the roommates at Cal Tech and had the personality of what Penny would call a "sleazebag." Every time he looked at her it was more like a leer, and she could just sense him undressing her with his eyes. Many times she had turned around quickly when leaving the room and caught him staring at her ass. Surprisingly, her demure co-worker, Bernadette, had recently asked Penny to introduce her to Howard.
"Whatever," Penny hissed, "what is the problem over here ?"
The forth nerd, Raj Koothrappali who was also a colleague at Cal Tech, explained, "you remember the paper that Leonard and Sheldon co-authored and submitted to "Scientific American?" As Penny nodded in the negative, Raj continued, "well it was published and the magazine would like them to jointly present their findings at a forum hosted by Cal Tech." Only recently had Raj come put of his shell and been able to talk to Penny without the aid of alcohol-courage.
"OK, so what's the problem," she asked again.
"Well, Sheldon here doesn't want to present it in public; and won't admit it's because of his fear of public speaking," Leonard told her.
"Not true," Sheldon interjected, "I just feel the body of work speaks for itself and there is no need to seek public adulation...especially in front of a bunch of barely literate sycophants. I think we should settle this the democratic way...with a vote...what say you Howard."
Always attempting to kiss-up to Sheldon, Howard answered, "well there never are any babes at those university gatherings, so I vote No."
"Wonderful," Sheldon remarked, "that makes two No's...what about you Raj."
"Well I think it would be a good opportunity for Leonard to advance his visibility at the university, so I vote Yes," Raj volunteered.
Smugly, Leonard challenged Sheldon, "well, that makes it two to two. Penny it looks like you have the tie-breaker."
"Wait a minute," Sheldon demanded, "she isn't even a scientist...why does she get a vote?"
"Do you see anyone else here to break the tie," Leonard asked.
"Unfortunately I see no flaw in that logic," Sheldon admitted, his shoulders drooping.
Penny had retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator and was barely still paying attention as they all looked at her waiting for her to cast the deciding vote. Knowing how much Sheldon hated speaking in public and if he was forced to, she knew she would have to listen to him whine for weeks, she simply said, "well if Sheldon doesn't want to speak in front of an audience, I don't think he should have to."
"A-ha," Sheldon shouted in victory, "I win."
"The reason Sheldon should have to speak in public is because if we don't present the findings jointly, then they don't want them presented at all...in other words: Sheldon wins again and Leonard loses again," Leonard yelled, catching everyone by surprise. "I may never get another opportunity like this again."
Completely caught off guard, Penny spoke, "I'm sorry...I didn't realize it meant that much to you."
"You know what," Leonard continued to yell, "I'm sick of this...you always take Sheldon's side. If there is one person in this room that should always have my back, whether I'm right or not, it's my girlfriend...I have always had yours...always." Having totally lost his composure over this last straw, Leonard stormed out of the apartment without even taking his keys out of the bowl.
For a minute, all four remaining people in the apartment just froze in place with their mouths open in astonishment. They had never seen Leonard lose his cool before. Raj finally broke the silence, "he's right you know."
"What are you talking about," Penny inquired.
"Yeah, he's right, you do always take Sheldon's side...it's freaky," Howard agreed.
"No way...you're crazy," Penny denied.
"Actually they are correct," Sheldon agreed, "although it's not surprising since I am invariably right."
Penny began to reply, and then just stood there thinking back to all the times she could remember the roommates having disagreements. "Holy crap on a cracker," she proclaimed, "I do always take your side...poor Leonard."
"He's also right that he has always had your back...more times than you know," Howard added.
"You remember Kurt don't you," Sheldon asked.
Penny began to giggle, and thought better of it: "you mean that time you two went to get my TV back from him and you came back without my TV or your pants?"
"That was only the half of it," Sheldon began, "your Neanderthal former boyfriend kept our pants which contained our wallets, and Leonard's car keys. Our phones were locked in Leonard's car. We couldn't hire a cab, take a bus, or call for help...we had to walk all the way home in our underwear."
"That gets funnier every time I hear it," Howard laughed until Penny shot him a stern look that could produce icicles.
"Yes, hilarious," Sheldon continued, "and do you remember the time you told Leonard you might have to move because you couldn't afford your rent and the reason was because Kurt had borrowed so much money from you to cover his parking tickets, and didn't pay you back."
"I remember that," Penny admitted.
"Well, what you don't know is that Leonard took it upon himself to pay Kurt another visit...which I must say took a lot of courage," Sheldon told her. "Anyway, this time Kurt laughed at him and used a Sharpie to write an I-O-U on Leonard's forehead."
"Oh my God," Penny exclaimed, "is that when he wore that ridiculous knit hat around for about a month. I made fun of him so many times. I thought it was just a nerd thing...thinking it was cool or something. God, I was such a bitch to him."
"Yes," Sheldon agreed, "but do you remember what happened about a week later. Out of the blue Kurt showed up at your apartment and repaid the money...and do you remember what you did?"
"You thought he was so sweet to remember, that you started dating him again," Howard shouted out.
"Yes, and can you imagine how that made Leonard feel," Sheldon asked.
"Holy crap...poor Leonard," Penny stated as she sank into Leonard's chair, "why didn't he say something."
"Because Leonard is one of a dying breed who still believes in chivalry," Sheldon informed her, "if one brags about one's chivalrous deed, then it ceases to be noble. I have to admit that is one of the few traits about Leonard that I admire."
"What about that time you were going to quit the Cheesecake Factory and Leonard talked you out of it," Sheldon asked, "and you were mad at him for not believing in you; even though he was just being practical."
"Yeah but you agreed with me that quitting would be the best thing if I was serious about being an actress," Penny said.
"On the contrary," Sheldon explained, "I said the best way to succeed at a person's skill was to devote one hundred per-cent of their time to it. Clearly, acting is not your skill and quitting the Cheesecake Factory would have been a huge mistake."
"What...why didn't you tell me that at the time," Penny asked, "I was so mad at Leonard."
"That was during the time you were trying to teach me empathy, and I didn't want you to think you were also a failure at that," Sheldon stated, "I know you were upset and he was in turn upset with me for causing the rift between you. He didn't speak to me for two weeks and made me take the bus to work. After the first day I couldn't do that because I only have one pair of bus-pants and, as you know, I only do my laundry once a week."
"And guess who was the lucky one he called for a ride to work every day," Raj added.
"Wow, I can't believe I've treated him so bad," Penny admitted, "why does he stay with me."
"True love...although I don't personally believe in it," Sheldon answered her rhetorical question, "I think it was invented by the greeting card industry."
Penny stood up and announced to the room, "I'll be right back...I'm going to look for Leonard." She left the apartment and went down to the street just to make sure he wasn't just pacing back and forth, unsure what to do. Before returning to 4A, she made sure to check the roof, where they had hung out on several occasions. Returning to the apartment she asked, "he didn't take his laptop or keys, right? What about his phone?"
"Check the bowl...he sometimes puts it there," Sheldon suggested.
"Yep, there it is," Penny confirmed, "he didn't take it. Isn't there some way you can trace him Sheldon? Can't you Google something?"
"Did you know that Google is just a misspelling on the word googal, which is the number one followed by one hundred zeros," Sheldon informed her, "representing the amount of information that Brin and Page expected to offer when they invented Google."
"Sheldon," Penny yelled, "concentrate...Leonard."
"Indeed...well if he had taken his keys, laptop, or phone I could have tracked him, but so far I haven't been able to slip in a subcutaneous chip," Sheldon admitted.
"You bugged his keys, phone and laptop," Penny chirped, "why would you do such a sneaky, invasion of privacy thing."
"For just such an occasion as this," Sheldon answered, "and in case of a zombie apocalypse so I can track his body."
"Don't worry," Howard assured her, "this is Leonard we're talking about. Everyone he knows is here...where could he go?"
"Yes," Raj added, "his idea of living dangerously is having regular cheese on his pizza;" referring to Leonard's lactose intolerance.
"Maybe so, but he was pretty mad," Penny commented, "I've never seen him like that."
"That's true, neither have I," Sheldon added, "and for some inexplicable reason he has been upset with me on numerous occasions."
Leonard had left the building with absolutely no idea what he was going to do or where he was going to go, but he was determined to make a statement about being taken for granted. "Why did Penny always take Sheldon's side," he asked himself, "is it just because it is the easy thing to do? I love her with all my heart, but it's time she supported me the way I do her." Knowing that he didn't have his car or phone, the first thing the logical Leonard did was stop at an ATM and make a large cash withdrawal. He was pretty sure Sheldon hadn't put a tracking device in his wallet, because he checked for one periodically. He knew about all the others and had subconsciously left them in the apartment. He assumed Sheldon could access his bank account information, but it wouldn't really provide him with any pertinent intell. Luckily the City of Pasadena and the State of California have excellent public transportation systems, so he wasn't concerned about getting around.
His next stop was at a Costco store where he purchased what the detectives on CSI called a "throwaway phone...a burner," a toothbrush and paste and some mouthwash. Since it was Sunday, Leonard had already decided to call out sick the next day. He just didn't want to see Sheldon right now. It was a delightful California day and Leonard was suddenly struck with an exciting idea: he was going to Legoland. It was only about a two hour trip to Carlsbad and the bus route went right to Legoland. Leonard smiled as he strode confidently to the bus station.
Arriving at one of his favorite destinations, he had another brilliant idea: he would stay the night in the Legoland Hotel; something he had always wanted to do. The desk clerk informed him it was permissible to pay in cash, but he would have to leave a credit card on file in case there was damage to the room, or he used the mini-fridge. He assured Leonard that he would not "run" the credit card through the system unless necessary, but regarded him cautiously when Leonard told him he was trying to keep his roommate from tracking him. Since it was late in the day, Leonard decided to just relax at the hotel...it was soooo cool. He thought Penny would have probably scolded him for using the word cool improperly.
After a couple of hours had passed and Leonard had not returned, she turned to Sheldon and said, "let's go look for him...this just isn't like him." As she grabbed his keys from the bowl, she added, "we'll take his car, maybe he'll see it and at least wonder why it's not parked at home."
"I think I should stay here in case he calls," Sheldon casually answered, not wanting to move from his spot. "He's a big boy you know...he has only been gone a short while."
"Sheldon," she stated sternly, "you're coming with me...this is your fault too. I can't believe you're not the least bit worried about him."
"I can't help it if I'm imperturbable," he explained.
"What," an annoyed Penny asked .
"Imperturbable...not easily worried," he explained.
"Cold and uncaring would be a better description," Penny remarked, "now get your bony ass in the car before I go all Nebraska on you. You two can stay here until we get back in case Leonard calls."
As they cruised the streets near the apartment building, Sheldon began to yell out the car window: "here Leonard...here Leonard."
Penny jerked her head towards him and demanded, "knock it off...he's not a lost dog you know."
"If he was a lost dog he would have a chip under his skin and I could track him," Sheldon mumbled.
"What did you say," she tensely asked.
"Nothing," Sheldon replied, "you're the one who made me come you know."
"Just be quiet and be on the look-out. Let's see if your Vulcan eyesight is as good as your Vulcan hearing," Penny stated. After a couple hours they gave up and went back to their building. Trudging up the stairs, Penny told Sheldon, "I have an early shift tomorrow but be sure to call me if you hear from him...immediately."
"Yes, yes," Sheldon acknowledged obviously annoyed, "I just don't see what the big deal is...except that I may not have a ride to work tomorrow."
"Unbelievable," Penny snorted as she opened the door to 4B, hopeful to find her boyfriend sitting on her sofa.
Leonard spent all of Monday morning at the "minis" in Legoland, especially the Star Wars displays. He sat yoga-style for hours staring and imagining he was there in the war for Hoth and diving into the channels of the Death Star on his X-wing fighter. He lost all track of time and the rest of the world ceased to exist. It didn't even bother him that he was wearing the same clothes as the day before...he had a nice hot shower using the complimentary soap and shampoo and it wasn't like he was known to perspire profusely. He didn't go on many of the rides; it just wasn't the same alone, but the day slipped by quickly.
At the Cheesecake Factory Penny was commiserating with fellow waitress Bernadette about her relationship with Leonard; "I just never realized how bitchy I was being...the truth is I really do love Leonard. What should I do to treat him better?"
"Well, you could start by taking more of an interest in his work," Bernadette told her.
"See, that's a problem," Penny admitted, "because I'm not really clear on what he does."
"He's a theoretical physicist," Bernadette reminded her.
Penny answered, "yeah, I'm not really sure what that is...there must be some other way."
"Well, you could do more things that he likes to do," Bernadette suggested.
"Yeah, I'm not real crazy about some of his interests," Penny confessed.
"You know Leonard does a lot of things he doesn't enjoy, just to make you happy," Bernie reminded her.
"Yeah I know, but he's my boyfriend so isn't that his job," Penny asked.
"So then what's your job as his girlfriend," Bernadette responded, trying to make Penny see the logic.
"To let him do things that make me happy," Penny selfishly suggested.
"And there's the problem," Bernadette told her before rushing off to take a customer's order.
When Penny returned to her building after her shift, she encountered Sheldon retrieving his mail from the wall of boxes in the lobby. "Please tell me you've heard from Leonard," she pleaded.
"No, nothing," Sheldon answered, "I just had to endure a ride home with Koothrappali and all he did was drone on and on about his trivial problems...waa, waa, waa. Leonard just drives and listens to me...I miss Leonard."
"Me too," she admitted, "after I change I'm going to walk around the neighborhood and show his picture...maybe someone had seen him."
Before she could ask him to join her, Sheldon interrupted and said, "sounds like a lot of work...but if you think it's necessary. See you in the morning."
Dressing to go out and search, Penny put on her favorite black leggings and an over-sized Nebraska Cornhuskers t-shirt that was so loose-fitting it kept slipping down off her shoulder. Usually she wore it as a night-shirt, but she had worn her tight uniform all day and just wanted to feel relaxed. As she walked around her neighborhood, she showed anyone who would listen, a picture of Leonard on her phone. After Giacomo's, she stopped in the nearest Best Buy and the associate there readily recognized Leonard; but hadn't seen him in a week. Wandering further from home, Penny started to walk past a seedy looking bar with several Harleys parked at the curb. As she passed, a large unshaven biker dressed in denim and a leather vest reading "Warthogs," stumbled drunkenly out the door and nearly knocked her over. "Hey buddy, watch where you're...oh hey pretty lady," he slurred as he eyed Penny from bottom to top.
She recognized that look as being the same she often received from Howard. He wasn't much taller than Penny, but was quite stocky with thick arms and leather bracelets. She could see that he had one of those wallets that was actually attached to a chain leading from his belt. Many young women her age would have been immediately intimidated by his appearance, but coming from a small farming town in Nebraska, she had mingled with many of his type at hole-in-the-wall local bars. Figuring that he probably frequented the same bar every day, she fished her phone out of her tight leggings waistband and showed him Leonard's photo. She could almost hear the gears whirring in his head as he contemplated the picture and rubbed his beard. "Yeah, I think I have seen that dude," he slyly told her, "come on inside and show it to some of the others. I'll buy you a drink...you look like you could use one...I'm Al, by the way."
"Penny," she introduced herself, "you know, I really could go for a beer," Penny answered, suddenly realizing she had been out walking for a couple of hours and had a serious case of dry-mouth. As they stepped inside the bar, she thought her assessment of it as being sleazy was totally correct, right down to the not-so-faint stench of urine. There were five other male patrons in the bar plus the bartender and they all had the look of stereotyped rough bikers: all wearing denim or leather pants and vests or jackets with no sleeves.
Al introduced her, "hey assholes...this is my good friend Penny. She's looking for someone...take a look at his picture." Penny didn't notice the way he winked at the other bikers as she extended her phone to show them. "Sam, one beer for the lady."
One of the bikers arose from his bar stool and stood in front of her, towering far above her shoulders and stated, "yeah...I think I saw him...can't quite remember when though...must be the tequila. I'll remember...eventually," and he winked at Al.
Handing Penny an open bottle, Al told her, "see, now you have to stay for a drink until J.J. remembers where he saw him." Parched as she was, Penny thankfully drained the beer in one long chug and slammed the bottle down on the bar.
"I would buy a round for the house," she declared, "but all I brought was my phone. See...no pockets," and she twirled around while they all stared at her tight leggings.
Two black bikers had been playing pool in the back of the bar and one of them stepped forward to proclaim, "we wouldn't allow that little lady...we'll buy the drinks."
"You tell her, Snake," the other pool player slapped him on the back and added, "why don't you help us finish this bottle of tequila. It would be nice to have a change of scenery around here."
"That's a great idea, Cam," Snake agreed, punching his friend in the arm, "I can't believe you came up with it." They all gathered around Penny at the bar and the fifth customer slammed a bottle of cheap tequila down on the polished wood. "That's Ivan," Snake informed her, "he's Russian...doesn't talk much, but he can take a hog apart and put it back together blindfolded." Penny smiled and nodded at Ivan who just stared at her expressionless, giving her a chill. Sam slid a shot glass in front of Penny, while Al poured a round of tequila for everyone. "To Penny," Snake declared as he raised his glass, "our new friend."
Seeing a puzzled look on her face, Al mentioned, "this is a man's bar...we don't mess with salt and lime and all that fag shit."
"Not a politically correct bar either," Penny thought to herself as she joined the bikers in downing her shot.
"Well, J.J. do you remember anything yet," Al asked.
"I think I'm starting to," Al slowly stated, "he is a little guy, right." Of course he knew that from the picture where he was standing next to Penny, but it seemed like he was recalling actually seeing Leonard.
"That's right," Penny shouted, "when did you see him."
"It seems like the tequila is spurring J.J.'s memory," Al declared, "another round."
Penny was used to alcohol and normally had a pretty high tolerance, but she had not had anything to eat in several hours so the beer and tequila was being immediately absorbed into her bloodstream and she could already feel the effects. The sly bikers kept pouring her shots as they urged her to tell them more about her missing boyfriend. They had actually switched bottles and were half way to finishing the second when Penny dropped her phone and when she bent down to pick it up, she staggered like a drunken sailor. "Whoa, I'm shitfaced," she thought, and announced in slurred tone, "if J.J. can't remember, I better be going."
"Now just wait," Cam told her, "I think it's right on the tip of his tongue. You know, you kind of owe us for a shit-load of drinks...what do you say you give us a little dance...you are the sexiest bitch we've had in here in a long time...you could be an actress."
Without even knowing it, Cam had touched a nerve and Penny's alcohol fueled ego took over. "You really think so," she beamed, "actually I AM an actress. You really think I'm sexy."
"Hell yes," it seemed like they all said in unison.
"I guess one dance wouldn't hurt," she acquiesced, "you have been so nice to me." Before she could utter another word, Snake scooped her up in his huge arms and set her down on the pool table. Sam stepped over to the old fashioned juke box (although it had been updated to CDs) and punched the number for an old Led Zeppelin song. Luckily she was wearing her flats or Penny would have definitely fallen as she stood wobbly on the table. "Ooo I love this song," she squealed as she began to sway to the thumping beat. Once she discovered just how far she could lean without falling over in her inebriated condition, Penny really began to bump and grind, throwing her incredible hips left and right.
Al and the gang began to hoot and whistle, banging their hands on the rail of the table to make a drum beat. Penny, always loving being the center of attention, threw them kisses as she moved her waist in a circular motion.
Her Cornhusker t-shirt kept falling down one shoulder, then the other and was beginning to annoy her so she just grasped the bottom and pulled it up over her head. Seeing her wonderfully firm breasts covered only in a tiny pale blue lacy bra, the bikers exploded in applause as she twirled the shirt over her head. Hearing their adulation, Penny smiled and let the shirt fly off onto the nearest table as she began to shake her chest in rhythm to the music. All her impaired mind was telling her to do was to please her audience; she was an actress at heart. Having been in these type of bars many times, Penny knew exactly what they wanted as she reached behind her and unclasped her wispy lingerie. Letting the thin straps fall from her shoulders, she held the material in from of her for a few seconds, then pulled it off and threw it into the air.
Throwing her arms out to her sides, Penny shook her chest as her magnificent tits began to sway in circles. They were masterpieces: a full 36 C of firm perfectly round flesh. Her light pink areola were elliptical in shape, with dark pink nipples the size of gumdrops in the center. With her long blond tresses cascading down around them, her breasts were perfection. The bikers crowded around the pool table and began to stuff dollar bills into the waistband of Penny's leggings as she bent her knees to lower her body. "What...just singles," she shouted to be heard over the din of the music, "what does it take to please you guys." Grinning, she kicked off her flats and reached down to the bottom of her leggings to attempt to tug them off. Realizing that in her condition, and lack of balance, she was destined to go tumbling to the floor, Penny sat down on her makeshift stage. Eager to please her audience, she started to pull the legging down her right leg.
Snake leaned over the table and offered, "let us help with that." He and J.J. hooked their meaty fingers under the waistband of her leggings and began to peel them down and off her wonderful long legs, turning them inside out as they pulled. Penny was left with only the tiniest of pale blue thongs as she carefully stood up again, her head spinning, and resumed her impromptu dance. She was the most beautiful woman the bikers had ever seen and they leered at her body, which now was glistening with a fine sheen of perspiration. Dollar bills were scattered on the table as Penny shook her perfectly round ass cheeks, actually spanking herself a few times.
"Holy fuck, look at those legs," Al yelled to his buddies.
"Yeah, I'm interested in what's between them," laughed Snake as he reached out and slid a ten dollar bill into Penny's thong.
"Now that's what I'm talking about," Penny shouted as she reached up and rubbed her breasts. With the music, the attention and her exhibitionist tendencies, she was becoming increasingly horny and began to tweak her own nipples. J.J. upped the ante by slipping a twenty down the front of her thong and Penny's eyes lit up as her hips swayed. "You deserve something special for that tip," she suggestively whispered blowing J.J. a kiss. Bending her knees so far that her ass was nearly touching the table, she hooked her thumbs into her waistband and shoved the tiny panties down to her ankles. This was the only way she could remove it without tumbling over and when she stood, the thong slipped off her feet
"Holy shit," Al yelled, "get a load of that pussy."
"I like 'em smooth," Ivan actually uttered some words.
"Hey, is that Cookie Monster," J.J. shouted, happier than anyone would have expected.
He was referring to a tiny tattoo of the lovable blue creature about an inch above her slit and just to the left. Penny normally would have blushed, but was beyond being embarrassed by anything, as she remembered her latest ink. It was so new that even Leonard had not seen it yet. "Yes, do you like it," she asked.
"Hell yes, it's great," J.J. told her showing her a similar tattoo on his left shoulder; except his involved Cookie Monster having sex with a huge-busted biker babe.
Penny's mound was as bare as the day she was born...she always kept it clean-shaven because it turned Leonard on. Apparently he wasn't the only one. Her legs were spread as she danced, displaying the perfect camel toe. Her mound looked like two peach-halves separated by a coin slot. Of course no one appreciated her vagina the way Leonard did. He had explained to her that as she became more aroused her lips swelled and her pussy began to open to display her lips. The more turned on she became, the more her lips spread outside her slit until her folds resembled the wings of a pink butterfly, (especially when he tugged on them). He told her it reminded him of watching time-lapse photography of a flower blooming. If sober, Penny would have fondly remembered how much Leonard worshiped her.
The bikers were whistling and stomping their boots as they leered at Penny doing her bump-and-grind. She corralled her wonderful breasts as they bounced on her chest with both hands, squeezing and fondling them. Presenting them, she took turns licking her own engorged nipples all the while swaying her wide hips. "I can't wait any longer," Snake declared as he clambered up onto the pool table and put one arm around Penny's back and the other around the back of her knees. He swiftly lowered her onto the table, laying her on her back, and jumped awkwardly onto the floor.
Taken by surprise, Penny lifted her head up to look around the table and inquired, "OK, what do you guys have in mind?" Snake had already unbuckled his heavy belt, unzipped his jeans and shoved his pants down to his knees revealing what looked to Penny like a big, black anaconda. "Wow, I was wondering why they called you Snake," she exclaimed, completely mesmerized by the huge penis. She was absolutely breathtaking as she lay back against the green felt: totally naked, with her long legs spread wide and her golden blonde hair framing her angelic face.
Snake grasped her ankles in his huge hands and pulled her to the edge of the rail, laying his growing meat on her toned belly. The contrast of her pale skin and the dark flesh of his cock intrigued her as she looked down between her breasts. Still firm, and yet they had flattened out on her chest as she lay back; Snake roughly grabbed the twin mounds and began to knead and squeeze. His hands were like sandpaper against her silky flesh and when he violently pinched her nipples between his fingers, Penny moaned involuntarily. Her pink butterfly was now fully open, without even being touched. Once again, Snake grabbed her ankles and lifted her legs up onto his shoulders, opening her slit.
Penny watched as he rubbed his giant purple crown up and down against her opening, coating it with her arousal. She knew it had to be at least a foot in length and as thick as her wrist as he nudged the tip against her slit. Snake did not know the meaning of "foreplay," and he tightly grasped her tiny waist in his meaty hands and shoved forward, burying his giant black cock up into Penny's juicy cunt. "Oh my fucking God," Penny screeched as his crown bumped against her cervix. She saw bright twinkling lights as she felt the entire length of her pussy being stretched farther than it had ever been. Gripping her waist, Snake held her in place, impaled on his mammoth cock as he ground his pelvis into hers, pinching her swollen clit between them.
"How was that bitch," Snake asked, "I'll bet you've never had a cock like mine before."
Penny just lay back on the soft felt, momentarily stunned by the massive meat embedded inside her. It felt like her whole stomach was full and she was breathing in quick, short breaths. Then she realized that the feeling was incredible...ecstatic...wonderful. The feeling of her vagina being filled with fat, hard cock was just what she needed. Snake began to slowly pull back, causing his log to slide out of her hole until just the bulbous head was inside her. She could feel the walls of her pussy shrinking as he withdrew, every nerve seemed alive. He looked down between them and watched as her fleshy wet lips gripped his shaft as it slid out of her tunnel. Without warning, he slammed forward again ramming his monstrous tool back into her cunt, his swollen balls slapping against her tight ass.
"Holy fucking shit," Penny squealed, "fuck my fucking cunt...fuck me...fuck me...stretch my little pussy." Leonard had noticed that when she had a few drinks she became more aggressive, but she had never confessed to him that when she was drunk, she absolutely loved it rough...the more forceful the lover, the better. Snake took her legs off his shoulders held her ankles in his hands and stretched her wide like a Thanksgiving turkey's wishbone. He began to slam his horse-cock in and out of her wet hole, fucking her cunt as hard as he could. Her head spinning, Penny shrieked, "oh my God...oh my God...fuck me...fuck me...jam that fucking cock into me...I need more cock." A thick white froth had formed around her hole and Snake's cock was coated in her slime. Her magnificent tits had spread out on her chest as she lay on the table and every time Snake rammed into her, they shook like Jello.
"Shit, your new friend really loves cock," Snake addressed Al.
"Oh yeah, she's a meat lover all right," Al agreed as he climbed up on the table, with great difficulty since his pants were down around his knees. His prick was a lot shorter than Snake's but very stout as he crawled toward Penny's head. He grabbed her beautiful blonde hair to get her attention and when she saw him straddle her head, she instinctively opened her mouth. His crown bumped against her teeth as she tilted her head back and then he shoved his prick into her mouth. The angle was perfect as he began to fuck her mouth and she used her throat muscles to coax him deeper inside. Reaching back, she massaged his scrotum while sucking his meat, her cheeks now concave as she formed an airtight grip with her lips. She was proud of her prowess at giving head and soon her throat was milking the cum out of his balls. "Holy shit," Al proclaimed, "she's really good...she may be the best cocksucker I know."
Just as Al's rod shrank and slipped from her lips, Snake leaned forward, braced his hands on the table on either side of Penny and slammed his pole into her as hard as he could. She wrapped her wonderful, long legs around his waist and held him there as he pumped her full of his hot seed. "Cum in me...fill my pussy," she urged as he continued to pump until his balls were empty.
"I hope you're on the pill," Snake told her, "or you're going to have a nice little black baby." Snake pulled back as Penny unlocked her legs.
"Where are you going," she asked, "I need to be fucked."
"I think we can handle that, little lady," J.J. declared, as he peeled his black leather pants down to his ankles. His erection was as big as Snake's, only lighter in color, as it waved in front of him. Not to be outdone, Cam shoved his jeans down to his knees and then kicked them aside as he agilely jumped onto the table beside the blonde beauty. His dark black tool was at least eight inches long, but very slender. Not wanting to take a backseat, Ivan also rolled his leather pants down to his ankles revealing another ten inch pepperoni stick with a head the size of a tennis ball.
Cam moved to the edge of the pool table beside Penny and announced, "I've been wanting that tight ass since she walked in here." Penny had never been a big fan of anal sex, but when she was drunk...anything goes. She reached between her legs and gathered some of Snake's semen as it drooled from her slit, and slathered Cam's chocolate penis with it. Ivan and J.J. lifted her naked body straight up as if she were a feather and held her above Cam's stout frame as he grasped his prick and pointed it toward Penny's ass. Reaching behind her, she spread her perfectly round cheeks, exposing her asshole, as they lowered her body until Cam's crown nudged against her.
As soon as his head popped through her sphincter ring, they dropped her onto his lap, driving his slim prick all the way up Penny's tight asshole. "Oh shit," she yelled as her ass was instantly invaded. Cam wrapped his arms around her waist, trapping her against him as she wriggled her butt trying to get comfortable. Reaching up, Cam began to roughly knead her wonderful tits like bread dough, making her moan when he violently pinched her pink nipples. "Oh yeah...that's good," she cooed as she shoved her ass into him.
Cam and Penny were at the edge of the table, their legs hanging off and J.J. stepped up between them, spreading Penny's silky thighs with his huge hands. Snake's cum still dripping out of her hole, the vivid pink of her slit made the perfect target. J.J. used his coarse thumbs to part her fleshy flaps and rubbed his crown up and down her slit. "What are you waiting for," Penny ordered, "fuck me...give me some fucking cock." Smiling, J.J. shoved forward burying his giant shaft up into Penny's belly. Cam lay back on the table, pulling Penny down onto him as she was penetrated by two hard pricks. "Holy fuck...yeah," she gasped as she felt their cocks begin to move inside her, separated by only a thin membrane. J.J. began to fuck her cunt as Cam bounced her on his lap, driving their pricks up into her.
Penny just closed her eyes, enjoying being stuffed with cock when they suddenly stopped. Looking down between her legs, she saw the Russian stepping between her legs beside J.J. "She loves cock...I'm sure she can take it," J.J. said as he and Ivan shoved her legs even further apart. J.J. pulled out a little to give Ivan some room and Penny gasped when she saw him rub his huge crown against her opening.
"You're not serious," she whispered, as Ivan leered at her pussy. He leaned over and let a stream of spit slide from his lips and onto his crown as he began to push against her slit. Her legs were spread obscenely wide as the two large men adjusted their positions to accommodate each other and she thought that it was a good thing she had kept up her regular yoga sessions. Penny could feel the pressure against her pussy as Ivan pushed forward trying to penetrate her. She bit her lower lip as Ivan grasped her waist and shoved. Just as Cam tweaked her gumdrop nipples, Ivan's crown plowed through her opening and into her cunt beside J.J.'s. Knowing it was now or never, Ivan kept right on pushing until his balls were actually slapping against J.J.'s. "Oh my fucking God," Penny screeched as her cunt was stretched to the ripping point. Although she was certain they had split her opening, she was aware that she was in the throes of a seemingly endless orgasm.
"Oh my God...oh my God," she screamed as her legs shot out to the sides and twitched. She had two feet of cock in her pussy and another in her ass and it was exquisite. J.J. and Ivan began to slowly withdraw their poles in unison, scraping every nerve in Penny's cunt. She had cum so many times and her hole was now so slippery that they began to fuck her, using their cocks as one enormous pole. It was like being fucked by a giant and Penny's body was in a constant spasm. The walls of her pussy squeezed their cocks like a blood-pressure sleeve as they slid in and out of her. "Oh my God...fuck me...fuck me...fuck my fucking cunt," she squealed, "holy fucking shit I love cock." Cam continued to grind against her ass as they fucked her. Her magnificent tits flopped up and down against her chest and Penny reached up to claw them as their cocks stuffed her hole.
Her incredible body twitched and jerked as she experienced one orgasm after another. The beautiful blonde's pussy was stretched so wide that they were scraping her G-spot and her clitoris every time they moved. It felt to Penny like a gigantic boa constrictor was slithering in and out of her hole as they continued to fuck her elastic tunnel. This must be what it feels like to have sex with a horse, she thought as J.J. and Ivan thrust up into her belly all the way to her womb. The longer they fucked her, the more cock they were able to shove inside her as they crowded closer to each other, not even caring that three sets of balls were swinging against each other.
Not to be left out, Snake and Al had been absentmindedly stoking their pricks, pants still down around their knees as they gawked at the blonde goddess. They nodded at each other and climbed up on the table (this time with the aid of a chair). "I just can't believe how hot this bitch is," Snake admitted as they stood on either side of Penny (and Cam) and began to vigorously stroke their meat.
Sam had been tempted to lock the door and flip the CLOSED sign over, but thought better of it because they were actually doing nothing wrong...Penny had never voiced a single objection to the proceedings; if anything she had encouraged it. He was thankful that his insurance agent had insisted he install a security camera, which he had flipped to ON the moment Penny walked in. This was one video he was going to enjoy many, many times.
Penny had been trying to watch the monstrous cocks sliding in and out of her hole, but Cam yanked on her blond tresses, pulling her head back against him. He started to chew on her ear, not knowing that it was a trigger for driving her crazy with passion. J.J. and Ivan picked up the pace when they felt the walls of her pussy spasm with yet another climax. They slammed their massive cocks in and out of her totally stretched out cunt, watching her majestic tits flop around on her chest like water balloons. "Oh my God...fuck me...fuck me...I love your fucking cocks," she screeched.
Snake and Al could not hold out any longer as they aimed their hard pricks at Penny's face and squirted their loads, coating her face, chest and hair. She turned her head this way and that trying to catch the gobs of cum on her tongue, but mostly it ended up on her magnificent nude body.
Suddenly she felt a warmth in her asshole as Cam sprayed his jism up her rear tunnel. The muscles in her pussy responded by contracting around the meat filling her hole and J.J. and Ivan surprised her by cumming in tandem. "Holy fucking shit," she breathlessly croaked, as she felt her cunt filling up with a river of hot fluid. "Oh my God...oh my God," she screamed as her entire body quivered. They had jammed their giant cocks as far up her pussy as they could and were holding them there as they twitched inside her. The cum, having no where to go inside her totally stuffed hole, began to squirt forcefully out the sides of her slit. Penny's cunt lips were vibrating as the sticky fluid forced it's way out between her flesh and their cocks. "Yessss...yesss...fill my fucking cunt," she begged as they fucked her as hard as they could.
"Man, you are one hot bitch," J.J. congratulated her as his log began to shrink and he let it flop out of her hole. Ivan nodded in agreement as he too withdrew his shriveling tool. Cam lifted her off his prick like a rag doll and sat her down near the middle of the pool table. Everyone in the bar was staring between Penny's legs at the wide open vivid pink hole. Cum was drooling out of the opening and Sam decided to have some fun of his own. He grabbed the 8-ball, because it's black color would contrast Penny's pale skin; and the cue ball because it would show up better inside a dark tunnel. Leaning over her incredible nude body, he easily shoved them up inside Penny's wide open cunt.
"All right...nice Sam," Snake yelled, "come on Penny, sink them in the corner pocket."
Any other time she probably could have done it, her kegel muscles were that toned, but they were now completely exhausted and no matter how hard she squeezed, the balls wouldn't budge. Scooting to the edge of the felt, she gingerly stood and the pool balls plopped out onto the floor, slick with mixed juices. Wobbly from exhaustion and still being excessively drunk, Penny searched the floor for her clothes. She wouldn't find her bra because it was in Al's pocket and Sam had confiscated her thong and pinned it to the wall over the bar with a dart from the board, like a trophy. She actually sat on the floor as she tugged her leggings up her incredibly long legs, and easily slipped her over-sized t-shirt over her head; not even realizing the NEBRASKA was now on her back. Disheveled as she was, Penny was still the most gorgeous woman they had ever seen.
"I'll bet you're thirsty," Sam inquired, as he slid a rum and Coke down the bar to her. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, Penny downed the contents in one swig before realizing it contained alcohol.
J.J. picked up her phone from the bar and handed it to her, saying, "could you show me that picture again." She awkwardly scrolled through her screen and showed him the image. "Now that I have a better look," J.J. told her, "I don't think that's the dude I saw...sorry."
Al had gathered up all the bills that had been stuffed in her leggings or thong, and were now laying on the pool table, and gave them to Penny. "Well, good luck finding your friend," he told her, "you're welcome here any time...right guys." Everyone in the bar yelled and whistled as they watched Penny's wonderful ass go through the front door.
In her impaired state, she had almost forgotten why she was out walking around until Al had spoken up and now she began to feel guilty. If she hadn't been inebriated, she probably would have felt more guilty as she began to wander aimlessly, not sure of where she was or where she was going. After walking a couple blocks she looked up at a building and a light went on in her head: "I know this building...Raj lives here...all right."
On auto-pilot, her subconscious reminding her where Raj lived, Penny knocked on his door. Opening his door, Raj was stunned to see the girl of his wet dreams standing there looking absolutely beautiful; although quite unkempt. Her shirt was obviously on backward, but when it slipped off her shoulder he quickly noticed that no bra strap was visible...it was the kind of thing guys notice. "Oh hi Penny...have you heard from Leonard," Raj greeted her in the doorway.
"No...could I come in," she asked shakily.
"Of course...of course," Raj jumped aside; noticing she reeked of stale cigarette smoke and there was definitely alcohol on her breath; and swept his arm, making a grand "please come in" gesture. "What can I..." he began, but Penny just kept walking toward his bathroom.
"I need to use your shower," she mumbled as she stripped off her shirt and dropped it on the living room floor. She turned back to Raj and said, "thank you," apparently unconscious of the fact that her incredible tits were completely on display.
As she continued walking away from him, Raj just stood with his mouth open in astonishment and whispered, "you are most certainly welcome." Swiftly he pulled out his phone and pulled up the number for his friend. When Howard answered, Raj blurted out, "Howard...you won't believe this...Penny is here and she is going to take a shower...there are sploshes of something in her hair and she's not wearing a bra...oh, and I think she's drunk as a sailor on leave."
When he finally stopped for a breath, Raj heard Howard answer, "so no Leonard...that's a good sign. You say she's drunk as a skunk and no bra...are you sure."
"Oh my word yes...she took off her shirt and I saw her breasts...they are magnificent, by the way," Raj excitedly responded.
"You saw her tits...naked, I'll be right there...don't screw this up," Howard yelled. As soon as he hung up, Howard fished through his desk for the pills a colleague from the Chemistry Department had once given him. They were a sort of Rohypnol, the "date rape" drug, but had been refined so that short-term memory was virtually erased. Rohypnol was, of course, illegal in the U.S., but that didn't stop chemists from producing it. His friend had told him that whoever took the pill would not remember anything that had occurred for approximately the past two hours. Mumbling to himself, "I can't believe this...I've been waiting so long for this opportunity," Howard grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen, twisted off the cap and plopped a pill inside. Virtually running for the front door he yelled over his shoulder, "Ma, I'm going to help Raj with something." He didn't even wait for a response as he bounded down the front steps and swung his leg over the Vespa.
Raj was pacing the floor when he heard Penny's angelic voice, "Raj could you come here and help me...it's really slippery and I'm afraid I might fall." Hearing the shower running, he ran into the bathroom and asked, "what do you need, Penny."
He could see her silhouette against the shower curtain and the stirring in his groin grew to a full fledged erection when she flung the curtain back, totally exposing her glorious naked body to his gaze. Calmly she pleaded, "could you please help me wash my back...it's so slippery in here." Raj couldn't believe what he was hearing. Penny was absolutely gorgeous...and nude. Her glistening body was a study in perfection...just as wonderful as he had always inagined. He found he was totally speechless as he started to step into the tub. "No...no," Penny admonished him, "you'll get your clothes all wet...take them off...now."
Never had Raj undressed so quickly, as his clothes flew in different directions. When he was down to his boxers, he again raised his foot to step into the tub, and Penny stopped him again. "Everything...I'm naked so you have to be," she scolded him. Shrugging his shoulders, Raj pushed his underpants off his legs and stepped into the tub.
"Holy crap, Raj" Penny whistled as his massive erection waved between his legs, "did you have to declare that at the border." His cock was enormous...at least eleven inches and thick. "I guess you must be happy to see me," she joked.
"You have no idea," he admitted, lowering his head as if ashamed.
"Don't be embarrassed sweetie," she encouraged him, "I'll take that as a compliment..you should be proud of that penis. Now be a good boy and help me wash my back." Raj took the loofah from Penny, squirted body-wash on it and began to scrub her back and shoulders. He progressed to her gloriously round cheeks and down her long, shapely legs; his erection only becoming harder. "Would you be a dear and wash my hair," she compelled him.
"Of course," Raj agreed, spilling shampoo all over the tub in his anxiousness. "You have something messy in your hair," he asked, "what is it."
"Oh just a little somethin'," she told him, "nothing to be concerned about. That feels sooo good," she murmured, as he massaged her scalp. Rinsing her hair, Raj just stood staring at the goddess standing naked in front of him..she was absolutely incredible...even more beautiful nude than he had dreamed. When she turned to face him, the steamy water cascading down her incomparable body, she couldn't help notice his huge hard-on. Smiling, and still very inebriated, Penny stated," you've been such a good boy, I think you deserve a little reward...would you like that."
Not even knowing for certain what she had in mind, Raj violently nodded his head in the affirmative, never taking his eyes off the goddess in front of him. Seeing her full frontal for the first time, he was speechless until Penny reached forward and grasped his prick. "Oh my word...you are so beautiful Penny. Leonard must never know of this," he implored her.
"I won't tell him if you won't," she agreed as her slippery hand stroked his shaft. Leaning back against the wall, Penny put her foot up on the side of the tub, spreading her legs and seductively said, "that's some cock you have there Raj...would you like to fuck me with it."
He opened his mouth to respond, but Penny placed her finger on his lips and then pulled his hard-on to move him closer. He bent his knees as she directed his huge crown against her swollen labia. Slowly standing up straight, Raj gently slid his soapy cock up into Penny's wonderful pussy until the entire pole was embedded into her belly. "Oh my God," she moaned, "your giant cock feels so good inside me, Raj...fuck me sweetie...fuck me."
Her warm sleeve around his pole felt so good; not quite as tight as he had imagined, but Raj certainly wouldn't complain. He began to thrust his hips back and forth as Penny tilted her body to assist him. Her stretched out pussy was starting to shrink, and the longer Raj fucked her, the better it felt. She caressed her breasts and implored him, "you know it's OK to touch." Not needing any more encouragement, Raj grasped both her wonderful breasts and gently squeezed the soft, perfect globes.
"You are perfect," Raj assured her, "I can't believe you're here. Leonard is sooo lucky." He couldn't believe he was actually fucking the girl he dreamed about nearly every night...even if she was drunk.
Raj was slowly sliding his massive prick in and out of her pussy, and the feeling was so wonderful that Penny just tilted her head back against the wall and moaned, "mmmmmm."
Suddenly there was a commotion and Howard burst into the bathroom and shoved the shower curtain aside, "I got here as soon as I...," and he stopped in mid-sentence when he saw his best friend in the shower sliding his cock into the most beautiful creature he had ever seen...or imagined. "Oh my God, look at those tits...look at that pussy," he thought...or did he say it aloud; he wasn't sure. "Holy shit, Raj is fucking Penny...and she's letting him," flashed through his brain. Penny's slick body was absolutely perfect. No one in the shower even acknowledged him and Howard immediately pulled out his phone and began to take photos of Penny being fucked. He took long shots and close-ups of the"good parts" and then decided to join them, thinking, "these pictures may come in very handy."
When the now naked Howard stepped into the tub, Penny opened her eyes and welcomed him, "oh Hi Howard...where's Bernadette?"
"Oh, we didn't have a date tonight...I think she picked up a shift," he answered, surprised at her non-reaction.
Looking down she noticed that Howard's hard-on was about six inches and quite slender, like him, and resembled a plump hot dog. "I'm sure Raj wouldn't mind sharing," she suggested, "but we've made a pact that Leonard can never find out. Since you've been staring at my ass ever since I moved in, how would you like to fuck it."
Raj had been silent, concentrating on Penny's unsurpassed body. He wasn't happy about sharing the blonde goddess, but he guessed since Raj was his best friend he couldn't complain. He nearly fell when Penny p