The Craziest Case Ever
Disclaimer: This is not real, this is only fantasy. None of this ever happened, and it would never.
Author’s Note: So, I’ve been planning this for a bit. I knew for a while that I wanted a story where the rapper Lil Pump goes on a massive rampage and just destroys stuff cause he’s a crazy moron and it’d be funny to write. But I didn’t want that to be the only thing happening in the story. Then a bit after I had that idea, I had gotten into the singer Liz Phair (I think her self-titled album is my favorite project from her as a whole), so I figured I could do something with her in a story. I decided to throw Tori Amos into the mix cause I also like her music and songwriting just like Liz. I think this is the second time that I’m using celebs that aren’t involved in the sex in a story, the first being my very first story. I hope you enjoy, more at the end.
It was pure chaos.
There was no other way to describe what was happening in the city of New York.
That’s what happens when you let someone like Florida rapper Lil Pump just do whatever he wants with no one around to stop him.
“BITCH! I’M TAKING OVER THIS CITY! ESSKEETIT!”
He shouted this, and various other random things as he destroyed things, threw TVs out windows, crashed weddings just to be a dick, did too many drugs to count, crashed cars just because, stole people’s food and just caused all around Mayhem for his own personal enjoyment.
So naturally, the police were brought in to deal with him.
“So you three know what has to be done?”
The chief of police was currently giving three officers the rundown on what would be done with the chaotic rapper, although he had a secret plan in mind for one of them as well. A plan that would help the man, Eric deal with something he knew was bothering him for some time, plus it would also help the case, as long as he could get Eric in contact with the two people he needed to make everything work.
Eric hadn’t been himself lately. Guess a bad breakup would do that, and his boss knew exactly what was going on with him, so arranged this whole hidin part of the plan that would also help with the Pump problem, two birds with one stone.
“Yep boss, I know what to do. Grab the crazy dumbass and bring him back here and lock him up for life. I’ve done this before.”
“Actually, I need you to go to the address I’m about to send you. Jay and Chris here can deal with the maniac. I need you to see the person that lives at this house, you’ll find out why once you get there.”
“But us three have always been a team, you can’t just split us up like that.”
One of Eric’s partners, Chris decided to bring up what was very common info, that being the three of them worked best as a group. Him, Eric and Jay had put away several dangerous criminals and kept the streets of the city well as safe as they can be. If Jay didn’t stop at like every place that sold food, they might have been a bit safer.
“I am well aware. But I need him to do this one thing for me, you two can deal with Little Pimp on your own.”
“THIS LIL PUMP, BITCH! I’M FLYING A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE IN THIS POOL!”
Before someone could correct the chief on the name mess up, Lil Pump decided to broadcast his latest stunt to the world through his social media, which was open on Jay’s phone.
True to his word, Pump was flying an airplane and landing it into a random person’s swimming pool. He even managed to survive unharmed once he landed.
Not saying any words about the craziness, the team of three suited up and were on their way, although Eric took a different car than Chris and Jay. Before he left, the chief quickly walked up to him for one last word.
“Oh and if one of the women at the house seems a bit trigger happy, that’s normal, don’t mind her.”
As he drove down the road, going to the address his boss told him about, he began to wonder if something was up. Why did he need to go here? What was so important that he couldn’t be with his partners? Little did he know, his questions would be answered very soon.
He pulled up to the house and knocked, identifying himself as a police officer. The door opened to reveal a woman who let him in.
He didn’t pay much attention to her physical features, mostly because this woman was so decked out with weapons that it’d make an action movie protagonist say that she had too many. She had an outfit with many pockets, and held any kind of gun you could think of on her.
“Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to put the guns down.”
“Oh you don’t need to worry about that, I already had a talk with your boss, he knows I’m like this already, I bought all of these, I own them. Name is Tori, Tori Amos.”
“Wait, you’re the singer Tori Amos?”
“Duh.”
“But what’s with all the weapons? Stalkers that bad?”
“Nope, I just like them. Let’s just say that I’ve written many songs about what them and I have done together, usually involving being on the run for a few months afterwards. But I’m not the person that your boss brought you to see. I’ll see if she’s ready, don’t follow me until I say you can. If you do, then well let’s just say I’ll have another song to write involving my AK 47.”
Tori then walked away, while Eric texted his boss about her, confirming this was really the place he was supposed to go. He confirmed it, and shocked Eric by mentioning that the guns were In fact Tori’s except for one sniper rifle.
“You can follow now! Come to the bedroom and you’ll find her.”
He did as he was told, following Tori’s voice and eventually arriving in the bedroom.
What he saw, or rather who he saw, shocked him. It was a woman sitting on a bed, only…
This woman was completely naked!
“Uh, did I come in on a wrong time? I’ll just be going and wait till you’re dressed.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Tori, it’s not necessary to use your weapons to get your way all the time.”
“It’s worked for over twenty years, I’m not stopping now.”
“Not to break up your conversation, but who are you?”
“Oh me, I’m Liz Phair.”
“And my boss sent me to see you because?”
“Well Eric, we know that your breakup left you very stressed out and you’ve been very annoyed with the fact you haven’t been laid in a while. So your boss called me up to deal with that and some other stuff.”
Liz then walked towards him, nothing but lust in her eyes.
She kissed him rather aggressively while quickly removing his clothes, showing what he was in for.
“Now here’s how this is going to work. I’m going to make you feel good, get all that stress out, we both get each other off, then we continue with the case that you’re working on.”
“If you don’t do a good job, then I’ll have to let my shotgun do some talking. I kinda want that to be the case, actually, would make for a great song.”
“Whatever. Now let’s get started.”
Eric complied with Liz’s command, as their mouths met again.
However Liz’s mouth broke away soon after, moving downward to Eric’s cock, which she took down her throat with extreme ease.
Eric didn’t say anything, wanting to enjoy this gorgeous woman taking him down like he was nothing.
“If you cum too quick, my trigger will go click click!”
“Fuck off, Tori.”
Liz wasn’t afraid to say how she felt about her friend ruining the moment, although with an entire cock rapped around her lips, it lessened the impact of her statement.
Liz decided to switch from sucking to stroking, not wanting any cum in her mouth. She made sure to not be too rough, as she knew her hands could leave really noticeable marks on her partner’s skin from past experiences.
As Eric began to climax, Tori appeared right behind him.
“Shush. I don’t wanna hear you, your voice is too annoying. Just give her all the good stuff so I can hear her let out some harmonies. That being said, Liz, would you mind?”
Tori moved around to be in front of Liz, taking her fingers in her mouth and sucking them clean.
“Well, I’ll admit it, you do taste pretty decent. Now get to getting her off already.”
Eric did as instructed, entering Liz’s folds quickly.
Liz wanted to be sure she was doing a good job, because even though she wasn’t getting payed for this part of it, she always wanted to make sure her sexual partners enjoyed themselves as much as she did, even when she was the one getting off.
“That’s it, just let everything go. Focus on me and nothing else. Let all the stress go.”
She pushed her breasts in his face, and he began to suck on them, alternating from one to the other.
“She loves that the most, you know. I should know, I’ve been around that block a few times myself.”
With Tori’s words encouraging him, he began to suck harder, while Liz continued to ride him, eventually reaching her own climax.
Tori reached climax herself, as she had one finger in her own pussy, and since she was extremely skilled with them, masturbating with only one finger could make her cum pretty much on the spot.
“Now let’s clean up, we’ve got somewhere else to go now.”
“Can I please fuck you later? It’s been too long.”
“Of course, Tori. Sorry Eric, you won’t get to watch. I’m only with you for like ten more minutes, let’s go.”
Eric and Liz got dressed, while Tori simply changed her jeans and suited up again. They then all hopped into Eric’s police car, Liz grabbing a gun along the way.
Not just any gun though, a sniper rifle.
“So that sniper rifle is yours? My boss mentioned a sniper rifle to me, but I thought Tori stole it or something, that’s why she didn’t own it.”
“Oh no, I’ve had this for a few years now. It really helps pass the time between working on albums.”
Liz proved how much of a sharpshooter she was, finding out where Lil Pump’s latest chaotic destruction was going on, and perfectly shooting one of the tires of his expensive car with her sniper while also driving the car.
Tori joined in as well, firing multiple shots as Eric turned on his car’s siren, alerting people that it was police business.
They then pursued the car, ending up at what could only be a trap house where Pump proceeded to buy a ton of drugs of all kinds for himself. They then approached the rapper, and Eric put him under arrest. He then radioed Chris and Jay, who showed up to arrest the dealers.
“I really have to thank you for everything, girls. You really helped a lot, I feel like me again.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Wait, what did you guys do?”
“The boss explained it to us, were you not listening?”
This was true. The chief explained everything to Chris and Jay, and they only pretended to be shocked to throw off Eric. Although as Chris was finding out now, Jay wasn’t really paying attention to his boss at all, probably being more focused on the pizza he was eating. Much like right now in fact.
“Dude, can I have some?”
Tori stole a few slices of Jay’s large pizza, pointing a pistol at him to make sure that he didn’t protest, although protesting wouldn’t have been an option if he wanted to keep his special pizza all to himself, as he was sure that when he put it down, someone else would try to take some for themselves.
They all headed back to the station to question Lil Pump, with Liz and Tori each giving a goodbye kiss to Eric before leaving to make good on that promise from earlier with Liz mentioning that the police chief gave her a free pair of handcuffs which got Tori excited.
The End
Author’s Ending Note: I’m not sure if the sex scene was that great, I wanted to keep things quick though. I thought making Tori Amos into someone who loves guns and weapons and ruins the mood during the sex scene would be funny. I know that the story didn’t involve much crime stopping, but I still got to write Lil Pump destroying things, and that’s what this story started from. I wanted to write that, so I just did. And now Lil Pump can be added to the index. Along with Liz and Tori as well. I will probably write Liz more in the future, given that I really love some of her music, I have huge respect for her as an artist and songwriter.
Topic: The Craziest Case Ever (Liz Phair, Tori Amos, Lil Pump) (Read 4270 times)