Time In A Blender (Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Salma Hayek)

[Old_CSSA_Archive]

Time In A Blender by Keaton the wr
Celeb(s) – Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Salma Hayek
Codes – MF, M+F, Gang Bang, Oral, Tittyfuck, Anal, Fantasy/Dream
Originally posted on August 25 2002 at CSSA

Gordon roared through the Nevada desert in his stolen red 1967 Ford Mustang. Occasionally, he would glance over to his bookbag, which sat beside him in the passenger’s seat, and would thank God for his good luck. He had left his hometown of Beaver Point, Minnesota in a sexual frenzy, as revenge for the way its citizens had treated him. But now Gordon desired a bigger sexual adventure…he desired Hollywood.

***

Bud quietly put his hand on Tammy’s meaty thigh.

"Goddammit, Bud!", Tammy shot back, "For God sakes, we’re on duty!"

Bud’s hand retreated back to the steering wheel. He and Tammy were highway patrolmen…, uh, people…and had been partners for about three years. Bud was pretty pudgy, and at 36, he had only had sex twice…both were with "ladies of the evening". Tammy, on the other hand was quite a piece of ass, with her long, red hair, big tits, and long, voluptuous legs. Bud had lusted after her ever since the first day they were assigned to one another. On this particular day, they were sitting in their patrol car, behind a billboard, waiting for a speeder. Bud just sat there, having fantasies about Tammy, while she tried to ignore his stares by doing a crossword puzzle. Just then, a red convertible of some kind zoomed past them. Bud clocked the speed at 105. The two were very surprised seeing as how they hardly ever saw a car on this lonely stretch of highway, much less a speeder. Bud gave Tammy a playful grin, to which she sneered, then cranked up the dusty old Chevy, turned on the lights, and began their pursuit of this dangerous criminal.

"Shit!", Gordon yelled as he saw a highway patrol car pull out from their speed trap, and start after him. He slowed down, and pulled over to the side of the road. Bud and Tammy pulled in behind him, and both got out of the car, slamming their doors at the same time. Gordon watched the hot female officer in his rear-view mirror as she sashayed up to the Mustang along with her partner, who he thought looked like a fat Barney Fife.

"Son, can I please see your license and registration?", the chubby cop
asked.

"Um, sure…", Gordon replied somewhat nervously as he pulled his driver’s license from his wallet. The cop took his license, stared at him blankly, then sighed.

"Boy, don’t play games with me! What about the registration?", he said, raising his voice. Since Gordon was driving a stolen car, he had to think quickly. Just then, the cute lady officer chimed in from the other side of the Mustang.

"What’s in the bookbag, kid?"

The portly officer then laughed, and remarked, "It’s probably drugs and alcohol! Which we do not allow out here in the great state of Nevada."

Gordon smiled, and replied, "I thought that was what Las Vegas was for."

The red-haired bombshell giggled, and quipped, "He’s got you there, Bud!" The bacon-sucking cop was obviously flustered by Gordon’s whit.

"All right, play time is over, boy! Gimmie your registration or I’ll pull a Rodney King on you so fast, you won’t know what hit you!"

The big-breasted beauty to Gordon’s right then smiled and sarcastically said, "Oh, Bud! Can’t we all just get along?" By this time, Porky Pig was steaming.

"Okay, okay…my registration is in my bookbag…just let me reach in and get it." Gordon then slipped his hand past the zipper, and for the first time since leaving Minnesota, felt his wonderful blender. He then quickly activated the blender, making the little ball on the top spin, then he flipped the red switch.

Gordon smiled as he looked up at Sir Eat-A-Lot. He had become a big, fat statue, standing there with his arms crossed, and head tilted slightly. He then turned his attention to the lovely vixen cop, whose breasts stood out from her chest so predominately, Gordon almost instantly got a hard-on. He hadn’t gotten any play since he left home, so he was a little pent-up. As he got out of the car, he glanced at his wristwatch witch was stuck at 10:07 AM. He smiled evilly as he walked over to the sexy little cop. He then took her in his arms and began shoving his tongue down her throat, and squeezing her big boobies. Gordon then laid the beautiful woman on the ground, beside the Mustang. He unbuttoned her uniform, then ripped off the bra, which held her orbs of pleasure. Her nipples were really big, and Gordon sucked on them greedily. He then undid her belt, and began to slide down her pants and panties. Gordon kissed and licked her stomach, as well as her creamy thighs. He then grabbed her rather large ass, and returned to kissing her mouth, and sucking her tits. Gordon then positioned his head in between her legs, and began licking at her snatch. He had never eaten pussy before, but he was really enjoying it! Gordon darted his tongue in and out of her slit, and sucked on her juices. He then sat up on his knees, and began undoing his belt. Gordon unzipped himself, and out-sprang his stiffy. He then laid himself back on top of her, and guided his cock up to her cunt. Without much hesitation, Gordon plunged himself in, and sighed at the unbelievable sensation pulling at his prick. He humped and humped his brains out!

"OOOOOHHHH
BBAAAAABBBBBYYYY!!!!", he screamed as he poked away at the young cop. After even more humping, he yelled, "I’m CCCCUUUUMMMMMIIINNNNGGG! Where do you want it, sweet thang?!!" There was no response, of course. Gordon laughed, then began dumping huge loads of cum into the woman, spurt after spurt…it just wouldn’t stop! He then sighed, pulled himself out, and looked at his watch. 10:07 AM.

As Gordon stood up and composed himself, he took a good look at the chubby cop who stood there still as a picture. He kind of felt sorry for him…the poor guy was big, homely, and from hearing him speak, not very smart. Gordon then remembered back to Miss Kelly’s first period geography class back at Beaver Point High, where, after he had his way with the four hottest chicks at school, he had placed each of them with the four biggest dorks, so, when he started time back up, the girls would be humiliated as the nerds pounded away at them. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but he gave those geeks a great gift. Now, as Gordon stood there sexually satisfied in the middle of the desert, he finally decided that he would not be greedy with the blender. From now on, after he was done with a hotty, he would help his fellow dorks just as he had done back in Minnesota; he would be their Unknown Savior. Just then, he picked up the crimson-haired beauty from the ground, and placed her in the back of the patrol car, on all-fours, with her pants and panties around her ankles, and her shirt absent from her shapely torso. He then walked over to Fatty McGee, grabbed him, and with all his strength, dragged him over to the patrol car. Gordon then took off the guy’s pants, revealing his ‘Teletubbies’ underwear. He then removed those, and jerked him off for a minute, just so he’s get hard. (Gordon didn’t enjoy this, of course, but he had to for his plan to work.) He then stuffed the cop into the back of the patrol car, and guided the guys cock into the wet pussy of his beautiful partner. Gordon then stepped back, sweating from all the work, and smiled at the scene. "I hope you enjoy her as much as I did, officer", Gordon said as he started the Mustang back up, and drove off.

***

After driving through the desert for what seemed like forever, Gordon finally drove past a sign welcoming him into Los Angeles. His heart began to thump wildly at the thought of all the sexy celebrities in this town. As Gordon entered downtown, he quickly remembered that he had forgotten to restart time, because planes were stuck in mid-air, people were trapped in mid-step, and cars were simply not moving to their respective destinations. So, Gordon reached into his bag, and flipped off the red switch, and watched as everything began moving again, just like when you take a movie from "pause" to "play" on your VCR. "HMMMM…", Gordon then thought of his own choice of words, "I hope that cop is getting some play right about now…"

***

Meanwhile, back in the Nevada desert…

"OOOHHHH, YYYEEESSS!!! I knew you’d come around Tammy! I knew sooner or later you’d want some of ol’ Bud’s meat puppet!!!!", Bud shouted in ecstasy as he pumped his sexy partner in and out.

"UNNNHHH! What the hell…how did…OOOHHHH MMMYYYY!!!!", Tammy moaned as her cow of a partner had mounted her, and was now riding her like fifty-cent merry-go-round.

"UNNN…OOOOHHH TAMMMMYYY! It feeeels so goooood!", Bud whispered as their patrol rocked back and forth wildly. Just then, two of their fellow officers drove by in their patrol car and honked, screaming, "Way to go, Bud!!!"

Bud smiled and poured what felt like gallons into his dream woman. He then sighed pleasantly, but left his cock inside Tammy.

"Ummmmm, Bud?", Tammy began, her pretty face against the window.

"What is it, baby?", Bud responded. She then blushed, ashamed of herself. "Would you mind finishing me off, sweet thang?", she asked.

Bud smiled widely as blood began to re-flood his prick, and he went back to humping away at her. He squeezed her tits from behind, and shoved himself as deep as he would go.

"OOOOHHHH BBBBUUUDDDD!!!"

***

Gordon drove up to a small cafe, grabbed his bookbag, and walked in. He walked up to the counter, and was taken aback by the girl who greeted him, and her seven nose rings.

"Uhhh, hi", Gordon began, "Could I get a cup of just plain coffee?" The girl smiled as she raised one of her eyebrows.

"Plain coffee? You’re not from around here, are you?", she asked sardonically.

"Well, no. I’m from Minnesota…", Gordon explained.

"Minnesota?", she gasped, "You’re not from that town, are you?" Gordon looked at her, puzzled.

"What town?", he asked. The young woman looked at him, then reached behind the counter and pulled out the day’s issue of the LA Times.

"THIS town!", she exclaimed, pointing her purple fingernail at the front page. Gordon’s eyes widened as he read the headline:

"MODERN DAY SODOMN AND GOMMORAH: Small MN town turns into a giant orgy!" Gordon’s guilty eyes then turned back to the woman.

"Uhhh, no…I’m from St. Paul" The girl seemed disappointed as she gave him his coffee. Just then someone from the other side of the cafe shouted, "Turn up the TV! It’s the president!" Gordon looked up to the black box, and watched as Bill Clinton said, "The kind of amoral sexual behavior that occurred in Beaver Point should not be occurring!" Everyone in the place then began to laugh at the hypocrisy, some even spitting out their cappachino. Gordon took the paper and his coffee, and smiled as he sat down. He wasn’t going to worry about Beaver Point…he had bigger fish to fry.

He had drank about five cups of coffee and still didn’t have a plan about how he was going to get to the celebrities. He didn’t know where any of them lived, and LA was too big to search.

"HHHMMMM…", Gordon thought, "What I need is a place where I can find a ton of celebrity babes, and pick at them as if I were at a buffet." He then thought of the Oscars, but that wasn’t for another couple of months. Just then, his eyes began to wander down from the paper’s front-page headline, towards a smaller story at the bottom of the page: MTV MOVIE AWARDS TONIGHT. Gordon grinned devilishly.

***

Later that afternoon, Gordon stopped time, and stole a very expensive tuxedo. He then started time back up again, and waited in his car until 6:00, which was when the MTV Movie Awards would begin taping. When it was time, he eagerly roared up the Mustang, and stepped on the gas. By the time he got to the auditorium where they were filming, most of the celebrities were already inside, and the show had begun. Gordon smiled from ear to ear in the parking lot as he reached into the bookbag, and turned the blender on. The little ball at the top began to busily spin. Then, he flipped the red switch. He looked at his watch, not being able to contain his excited laughter. 6:32 PM. Gordon looked up, got out of the car, raised his hands into the cool LA air and screamed, "Bring on the buffet!!!"

He pushed and kicked the two guards who stood in front of the entrance, blocking his path. He walked in. Gordon gasped as he saw the ocean of stars in front of his hungry eyes. You name them, and they were here. Stars from TV, movies, music,…everything! Almost all of the celebrities, Gordon noticed, were frozen in smile, because apparently Jerry Seinfeld was in the middle of a joke when he had stopped time. When he scanned the audience further, his eyes fell upon his first piece of ass. Salma Hayek.

She was wearing a long, dark pink evening gown, which showed off her big, giant breasts beautifully. Gordon’s prick began to stir. Salma was even more gorgeous in real life than she was in the movies. He briskly walked over to wearing she was sitting, scooped her up into his arms, and delicately laid her on her back there in the aisle. Gordon immediately hopped on top of the goddess, kissing and licking her soft face. He began running his hands up her dress, sighing as he felt up her long, tanned Latin legs. Gordon then ripped the straps off her shoulders, and released those grand titties, with her big beautiful nipples, men had so often dreamt of. He unzipped his fly, whipped out his cock, pushed her luscious mammaries together, and began to titty-fuck Salma Hayek.

"OOOOHHHH GGOOODDD….YYYEEESSS!!!!", Gordon moaned as he rubbed his dick in between the soft cleavage her heavenly boobies. Seeing Salma bob back and forth with each of Gordon’s thrusts, with a big smile on her face, was cool as shit! After a few moments of pounding the beauty, mercilessly, Gordon’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he finally sprayed his seed all over Salma’s neck, face, and hair, which was as black as night. He then got up off of her, and sat down in the seat from which he had picked her up. The guy frozen next to him was holding some wine. Gordon took it, and drank it. As he enjoyed every last drop of it, he looked around the place, and gasped at who he saw next. It was Jennifer Aniston.

She had on a little one piece dress, which was quite short, showing off her athletic body just right. These celebs definitely knew how to show off their best features. Gordon got up, and walked over to Jennifer. She had the face of an angel, with a nice big rack, and long, sleek, California legs. Gordon found himself quite aroused, once again, so, he picked her up out of her seat, and placed her on her back in the aisle. He quickly ripped off her panties, which were sooo smooth, and placed his gangly self in between her legs. Gordon violently shoved himself into her, and began to quiver with pleasure as he humped, humped away. He had never encountered a pussy so wet, so hot, so velvety…it was perfect!!! Gordon pushed his tongue in her mouth, and squeezed her nubile tits, and he fucked the lovely Jennifer Aniston. After about fifteen minutes, Gordon lost it, grunted, and blew his wad all up inside her. It wasn’t a quick cum, either. The feeling of Jennifer’s pussy made Gordon dump load after load into her hot box. He got up, sat down, and took a breather. The guy sitting next to him was smoking a cigarette. Gordon snatched it, and took a deep, pleasurable drag. "How sweet it is…", he muttered to himself, a huge smile owning his face. Gordon let his head fall to the right, and as he looked across the aisle, he dropped his cigarette. Jennifer Lopez.

She had on a short, silvery dress, much like the one she wore in her first music video. Gordon had jerked off many a time to that video, and now here she was…in all her sexpot glory. He ran over to her, and, overcome with an unspeakable passion, pushed her into the aisle, causing her to land on her back. When she hit the floor, her beautiful and huge round ass jiggled, causing Gordon yet another hard-on. He began to squeeze, kiss, lick and suck her oh-so- perfect ass. Gordon then aimed his cock at her butt. He sighed, and then fell into it. Like Jennifer Aniston’s cunt, and Salma Hayek’s tits, it was truly incredible. Gordon butt-fucked her hard, making her bob back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. As he did so, he reached around, and felt up her boobies.

"UNNNNNHHH….UNNNNNNN……UHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" The sound of Gordon’s moaning echoed throughout the theater and probably all of Los Angeles…if not the entire world. The feeling inside her ass was unbelievable…and the big smile on her face made everything all the better. Gordon jizzed all up in Jennifer Lopez’s ass. It was so much jizz, some of it began to run down the back of her tanned thighs. He finally got up, and sat back down, breathing and sweating very hard. The guy sitting beside him was leaned over, frozen in the midst of snorting some cocaine that was lined up on a mirror, which sat on his lap. Gordon took the mirror, and snorted up the coke. This was, without a doubt, the greatest night of his life.

Gordon looked down at his three sexy conquests, who decorated the aisle. He decided that he could just call it a night, but he had promised himself that he wouldn’t be selfish with the blender…he had promised he would help his fellow geeks, nerds, and dorks.

***

Gordon stood up, and looked at his watch. 6:32 PM. He smiled at his watch like an old friend. He then picked up Jennifer Aniston, Salma Hayek, and Jennifer Lopez one-by-one, and placed them into the back of the Mustang. He was going to make some social rejects VERY happy tonight!

Gordon drove throughout LA, scouring for places where he would find some nerds. By helping out his fellow geeks, he would also be humiliating these celebrities, who really need to be taken off their pedestal. Gordon had to drive careful, as to not hit the statue cars or the statue people. He drove around for about twenty minutes until he found exactly what he was looking for. A ‘Star Trek’ convention! He stopped the car, got out, and flung Salma Hayek’s sexy frame over his shoulder. When Gordon walked in, he was kind of disappointed, because there were only three nerds (all of whom he noticed were overweight) there.

"This is so sad", he thought to himself. "This isn’t even a cool ‘Star Trek’ convention." At any rate, Gordon ripped off the remains of Salma’s dress, and placed her on her hands and knees on the floor. He then removed the geeks pants. They were all wearing tighty whiteys with their names of them. Francis, Horatio, and Picard. He took another look at these pimply, pale-faced freaks and decided that they would never get any play without his help. Gordon jerked them off for a moment, and placed Francis in Salma’s mouth, Horatio in her pussy, and Picard up her smooth ass. He stood back, and admired his work.

It was a Saturday night, so Gordon began driving around the suburbs, figuring most nerds would, of course, be at home. After cruising around for a while, Gordon noticed some dork sitting by his window. The guy was apparently staring into his computer, and, from what Gordon could see, the geek was jerking off.

"We have a winner", Gordon said out loud. He got out, and picked up
Jennifer Lopez. He carried the Latin beauty into the two-story house, up the stairs, and into the guy’s room. Gordon laid Jennifer on the bed, and went over to the computer, where his man was sitting, to see what the guy was getting so excited over. Pictures of Britney Spears littered the screen.

"I can’t help you out with that one, Sparky…", Gordon began, picking the young man out of the chair, "…but, hopefully, Jennifer Lopez will do the trick." He took the already excited dork, with his greasy hair and glasses, and placed him up in her pussy. Gordon smiled, then left.

He had been driving around for so long now, that Gordon actually found himself near the woods.

"I’m a looong way from LA", he thought. He finally decided to just leave Jennifer Aniston out here in the woods.

"Maybe some hicks will find her", Gordon planned. After all, rednecks are a form of dorks…and they need lovin’ too, just like the rest of us.

Gordon drove back to LA, and stopped the Mustang in the back of some parking lot. He was very tired, but very satisfied. Gordon reached into his bookbag, and turned the blender off. People, cars, and the night itself began moving again. He looked down at his watch as it leaped from 6:32 PM to 1:49 AM. Gordon leaned back the driver’s seat, and closed his eyes, which yearned for some sleep.

"You boys have fun…", Gordon muttered, "…have fun."

***

Meanwhile, back at the ‘Star Trek’ convention…

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!! THIS IS THE BEST CONVENTION YET!!!!!!!!", Francis moaned as he humped Salma Hayek’s wet, sultry mouth. He grabbed her hair, and began to fuck her head faster.

"UNNHHHHH!!!! YOU SAID IT, FRANCIS!!!! I’M LOSING MY VIRGINITY!!!! UUUUUNNNNNHHHH YYYEEAAHHH!!!", screamed Horatio from below, who was in the process of losing his cherry.

"OOHHH GOOODDD YYEEESSS!!!! OOOOHHH GGGOOODD YYEEESSSS!!!! OOOHHH GGGOOOODDD YYYYYEEESSSSSS!!!!!", laughed Picard, fucking Salma’s ass passionately. Just then, the three virgins blew three separate streams of hot, sticky cum into the beautiful actress, all at the same time. The three guys then let out a long sigh, and reluctantly popped their dicks out of her. Salma immediately jumped to her feet.

"Oh my God! What have I done?!", she screamed, "You boys are in a lot of trouble!!!" Francis, Horatio and Picard weren’t listening; they were watching her tits bob up and down as he yelled.

"Come on guys", Francis began, a hungry look beaming from his eyes, "…let’s fuck her some more!" The other two agreed, and all three began chasing Salma around the convention hall. "Oh my!", Salma yelled playfully, "Oh my!!!"

Meanwhile, back in the suburbs…

"Sweet Jesusssss!!!", Raymond moaned as he instinctively began moving himself in and out of Jennifer Lopez’s wet, wet, pussy. "You’re Jennifer Lopez!!! UUUHHHH!!!"

Jennifer figured she must be dreaming, so she laid back, and enjoyed herself as this ‘dream guy’ awkwardly fucked her good, while squeezing her boobs, and feeling up her athletic thighs.

"OOOHH GOODDD!!! IIT’S SOOOO WARMMMMM!!", whispered Raymond, who was overcome by the feeling he had never experienced. After a moment or so, he released a river of white goo into her, all the while listening to his squeaky mattress creak, and his headboard bang. Raymond pulled out, and flopped down next to Jennifer, with a big smile on his face. Jennifer Lopez decided to take control of her dream.

"Hey…why don’t you call some of your friends over, baby…we’ll have a party", she cooed. Raymond hopped out of bed, and called his only friend.

"Donny! Come over to my house, right now! You’ll never believe who is here!!!"

Meanwhile, back in the woods…

"What the hell is going on?!", Jennifer Aniston angrily thought, "How the fuck did I get in the damn woods???" Just then, Jennifer saw a campfire, barely, through the trees and bushes.

"Thank God…maybe these stupid hicks will help me", she whispered to herself. "Of course they will, I’m Jennifer Aniston."

Earl and John Boy were about 20 years old. They didn’t have a lot of friends, so they spent their Saturday nights "huntin’ thangs". Just when they were about to agree upon the better car manufacturer, Ford or Chevy, a beautiful, sexy angel, in a little dress emerged from the woods. They couldn’t help but gawk and stare at her long, tanned legs, big chest, and "purdy face." Jennifer walked over to the rednecks, with a big smile on her face.

"Hi there fellas…listen, I’m Jennifer Aniston from T.V.’s top-rated show, Friends, and well, I’ve somehow gotten myself lost in your woods here, and well, I could really use a lift back to LA.", she explained. The rednecks just stared at her.

"Come on, guys, what do you say?" The two friends looked at each other, and then began to whisper back and forth. Then, they looked longingly back at Jennifer.

"Wese uh wanna fuck yuh", they replied, at the same time. Jennifer rolled her eyes, and turned away.

"Hey, ladee…yuh won’t survivuh one hour witout are hel’", Earl called out to her. The two rednecks then began to laugh, and Jennifer decided to do as they ask. She walked over to them, and reluctantly announced, "I’m all yours, boys."

The rednecks fell to their knees and each took one of her legs as she stood there, and began kissing her calves, and running their hands up, feeling her thighs. Jennifer laid down next to the fire, and decided to enjoy herself. Earl maneuvered himself between the sexy star’s legs, and pushed himself into her cunt.

"OOOHH YYYEEEAAAHHH!!!", he moaned loudly. John Boy sat down on the log beside the campfire, pulled out his cock, and began beating it. Earl kept humping, and humping, and humping.

"UUNNHH…SQUEEL LIKE A PIG, BITCH!" Jennifer couldn’t believe what she about to do. "SQUUUEEEEEEAAALLL!!!!! SQQUUUUUEEEEEAALLLL!!!!", she squealed. Earl laughed. He loved that movie. John Boy then groaned and nutted all over Jennifer’s face. He chuckled as it oozed down her face. Earl could also no longer contain himself, and he triumphantly blew his wad in her. He pulled out, and high-fived John Boy.

The next morning, back in LA.

Gordon’s peaceful sleep was brutally interrupted by the sound of someone pounding on his car door. He sat up and groggily noticed a tall, dark haired man, and a rather beautiful red-haired woman standing by his Mustang. Both were dressed in dark clothes.

"Morning there, Sunshine…", the tall man began, "…is your name Gordon?" Gordon rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and replied,

"Who wants to know?" The sexy red-head stepped closer and said,

"I’m Agent Scully, and this is Agent Mulder…we are from the FBI." Gordon’s eyes widened.

"Recently, NASA, using secret satellites especially designed for use by the government, has picked up several disturbances in the so-called ‘space-time continuum’." Gordon couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

"I, uh…have no idea what you’re talking about", he replied back to the special agents.

"Well, we think you do, Gordon. NASA picked up the first few disturbances near Beaver Point, Minnesota— your hometown. Then, it picked up another disturbance 150 miles outside Las Vegas—we know you were there, because we had a little chat with some highway patrol officers, who said they pulled you over. Both the officers and the citizens of Beaver Point report a feeling of ‘lost time’. Then, we get yet another couple of disturbances just last night, right here in the City of Angels", explained Agent Mulder.

Just then, the conversation was interrupted by the sound of a pick-up truck coming to a screeching halt and blowing it’s horn from across the street. Jennifer Aniston stepped out of the truck, with two rednecks pinching and slapping her ass, while laughing the whole time.

"Hey…", Agent Mulder began, "…isn’t that?…."

Agent Scully wasn’t so quick to turn her attention away from Gordon.

"Listen…we know you have something to do with all these disturbances. I think you should step out of the car, and come with us", she said. Gordon smiled.

All he had to do here was stop time, probably fuck Agent Scully over there, and skip town…not a hard problem to solve at all. He made sure to keep his eyes with Scully’s, all the while moving his hand into his bookbag. As he was just about to activate the blender, he felt someone grab his hand, and slap it away. He turned his head…it was Agent Mulder.

"Well, what do we have here?", he questioned. He picked up the curious looking blender, and studied it. "Yeah, kid…you’re definitely going to have to come with us!", he said with a laugh. Gordon got out of the Mustang, and Agent Scully placed handcuffs on him. Agent Mulder put the blender in the trunk of their car.

As Scully helped Gordon into the back of the car, a very naked Salma Hayek came running down the street. "You’ll never catch me!", she screamed, with a laugh. Following about a hundred yards behind her were Francis, Horatio and Picard, who were huffing and puffing to try to catch her.

Later, when they were stopped at a red light, Gordon saw Jennifer Lopez with the dork he had set her up with, and some other geek. One guy had his hand on Jennifer’s ass, brutally squeezing, while the other was kissing her neck, right in front of a hot dog stand. It was a little hard to hear Jennifer over the sound of the car engine, but Gordon could have sworn he heard her say, "This dream is crazy!"

As the two FBI agents drove to LA-X, to fly Gordon back to Washington, Gordon shook his head and sighed, "How am I going to get out of this?."

***