Julien’s Inconvenient Erection

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Julien’s Inconvenient Erection
  Julien Baker was very bored with the Tennessee Titans game she was watching.   They were playing the Saints and the Saints were clearly winning. The actress was thinking about literally anything on her mind, whether it was new songs to, her days in Boygenius, or even her weird crush on Cate Blanchett. Julien had long had a crush on that blonde Aussie actress ever since she had watched that “Queen Elizabeth I movie” as a kid, which she couldn’t remember the name of.

Once upon a time, the singer prayed to God as a teenager to make her straight, and God said “No you are on this Earth to fuck ladies, sexual orientation is not a choice. ”  Julien asked God “Is there anything you can do?”
God then said “I can get rid of all of your menstrual problems by giving you a dick and turning your ovaries into testicles.

Julien said, in tears, smiling, “Will I still be a girl?” God then said, “Yes, but you won’t have periods, now be able to get other girls pregnant, and be able to pee standing up.” Julien said “I’ll take this deal”.
God then said:  “You have to cum at least twice times a day or you will suffer extreme pain in your gonads.” Julien took the deal and never thought about that again.

On the day of her 18th birthday, God finally gave her a penis, and if anything, her intense thoughts about women got even stronger as she wanted to cum in a woman.

Meanwhile, back in the present, the petite gay indie rocker started thinking about Cate to get her mind off of the game in which her team had no chance of winning. Julien, who was at the Nissan Stadium, decided to run to the restroom to deal with her needs in the most crude way possible. Despite being very visibly female, she preferred men's bathrooms for two reasons: First, she liked peeing standing up and two, the shorter lines.

Once Julien checked to make sure the stall was empty, she stripped off her pants and underpants and freed her genitals from their confines.  Julien giggled and said “I am a short girl with a big package” to herself. The singer looked up a story on AO3 called “Table Manners”, which featured Cate Blanchett fucking a female reader with a strap-on. It did not take much for Julien to get hard, given the fact that she was even more than a horndog towards women than an average bro was.

She got herself stroking immediately with her left hand. The fact she was a guitarist helped her masturbation skills a lot. She thought could make women happy with her music and her penis. Julien thought about Cate immediately and just how she wished she was Andrew Upton. She told herself she had a bigger penis than Andrew.

As the gay singer kept stroking herself, she started thinking about Cate’s hot accent. Julien long thought that Australian ladies had the sexist accents of all the Anglophones, and thinking about Cate just made the singer hornier. Julien’s tiny nipples started hardening under her shirt as she stroked.

The singer was getting sweatier with every stroke. She just said “Cate, Cate, Cate” over and over again as she sunk deeper into lust reading the story.  She was a lucky lady as nobody was in this restroom, as the bros were busy watching the game.  Julien had been busted before jerking off and was always alert for it.  Her closest friends, including the rest of Boygenius and Hayley Williams, knew about her dick.
Julien felt her balls start to tighten and she stroked. The texture of her testicles noticeably changed to become rougher and more leathery. As her semen started to build, the singer kept stroking herself.

Julien’s armpits had a strong odor as they were trapped under her shirt.  Her tattooed arms were perfect for being a guitarist and for stroking her sausage.  Julien was completely unable to think about anything except the blonde middle-aged Aussie and how hot she was.


Julien then gulped and squeaked out “I’m gonna cum”, knowing what was going on from imagining herself being fucked in the ass by Cate with her strap-on. The singer then shot globs of hot stinky semen on herself. The singer’s release hit her left hand, her shirt, and her legs.  Similar to how Julien was hornier than your average bro, she had longer orgasms and released a larger volume of semen given she had a large penis and giant testicles capable of storing a lot of semen. Julien’s mind went blank, and she just wished she had blown her load on Cate’s face instead of on herself at a bathroom at a stadium in Nashville.
Julien then got up, wiped, peed at a nearby urinal and then got dressed. The singer smelled like semen as did the bathroom. She didn't give two shits and she wasn’t into guys anyway. Meanwhile, someone entered the bathroom after she had left. They didn’t know that a famous female musician had been there, let alone that the semen odor came from her.
The End