THE WHOLE EFFING PLANET
The 5am Club
The theme may be a little dated but I swear I wrote this this weekend. Actually it was supposed to be an entry for the Brevity Series but...I'll just have to try again...
Celebs: Vanessa Hudgens, and Ashley Tisdale!
Codes: cons, FF, exhib, solo, toys, squirting
Also: This is a work of FICTION and I do not condone the invasion of celebrities' privacy, or anyone's privacy for that matter.
It wasn’t even 9pm, August 31 of 2014 going on September, and they were veeeeery drunk.
Vanessa Hudgens especially because she
was the one in this. Knee-deep. She didn’t got just a few low-res pics with no face and half a buttcrack. No, she was part of the full HD-full nude-full frontal elite. And also it was her third fucking time
“And you look so gorgeous it’s retarded,” Ashley Tisdale concluded.
Of which Vanessa had nothing to respond besides slumping back into the couch with a pout and then pouring more chardonnay.
At least she had stopped ranting at CNN.
Ashley switched to FOX News for a laugh and closed the photos of her friend naked on her laptop. It was time to re-check Reddit.
“Hey they found a name for it now: the Fappening.”
“It’s German, means ‘Would you like some meat in your sauerkraut?
Vanessa chortled in her glass. She had not cried a single tear since the news came down, she was not really angry either, mildly embarrassed perhaps. Jaded. Gone through this before. And after all, as Ash said, they were nice pics, not like the first time. They were not any worse than what Miley was doing. Actually they looked better than the J-Law ones, and that bitch was getting all the spotlight!
Ashley put the laptop in her face: “Kelly Coco is going doooown!
“The Big Bang Theory
“Yea, apparently there’re clips of her takin’ a leak incoming.”
“That’s just nasty!”
“She has nice tits though… Do you think you’re gonna have weird shit too out there?”
“No it’s just that, some selfies I took for Austin. I’ve been careful. The good stuff was seized the first time, before the guy could sell it.”
“The feds have your lesbian porn in their vault?”
“Shut up!” Vanessa said, throwing a cushion in jest, then another one, in jest again, and then there were no more cushions around so she threw herself at her friend into a hug, loose and under the influence but very, very sincere.
It was working. Ashley had managed to cool her down and warm her up. It had necessitated a lot of booze but only a small drop of friendship from the personal ocean they shared.
Plus now Nessa had reached that point where cynicism makes you funny:
“What about you, Tisdale? Should we expect to see your pissflaps on the innernet tonight?”
Ashley burst out laughing with wide eyes. “My what?
Vanessa bolted up in genuine concern: “You never took nudes?”
“That is so
“It’s the new black!”
“I‘ve no idea what the hell you’re talkin’ about!”
“You’re getting married in a week, it’s now or never!”
“I posed for Maxim, leave me alone. And for Allure! I was nude in Allure!”
“You told me it was CGI! Fuck that bullshit, what’s the fuckin’ point?!”
With a sigh announcing she wasn’t ready to give up, Vanessa crawled back to her designated corner of the couch and took her phone. Swiping away 179 missed calls, she searched her files.
“You should try it, it’s liberating,” she added, almost a whisper, almost for herself.
“I’ve been naked before, I know how it feels.”
Ashley leaned over the little black rectangle to see, squinting, and spilled white wine on her chin when she saw.
“Is that Sleen?
” she cried out, crumbling into the narrow space between the couch and the coffee table.
Ashley’s attention had gotten back its full agility. When Nessa closed the picture, she had a glimpse of a folder stocked with various stages of undress of Selena Gomez.
“She wanted to send nudes to her boyfriend, she asked me for advice.”
“Ok now, do the J-Law!”
Immediately and fearlessly, the dyed-blonde singer tried herself at an impression of the blonde actress: “I’ll sue yo asses y’all motherfuckers!
” she drawled, gesturing the hefting of large breasts she did not possess. It was moderately funny if not downright offensive; they were celebrities, they were supposed to stick up for one another, but that’s precisely why the two girls laughed so hard.
“No, you idiot,” Nessa panted, “do like one of her leaked pics!”
“Fine! Pull that up.”
They browsed through the already infamous "couch set" and Ashley picked one shot to recreate as best she could with her intoxicated limbs.
“Go see Hunger Games!
” she drawled again, trying to keep on a sultry face before the snorting won over.
“Do it naked now.” Vanessa looked closely at the screen. “Leave only your bra on, pulled under your boobs. And let your hair down.”
She sat on the floor in front of the couch, lifting her phone, ready.
Ashley had frozen in shock. “We’re not sending nudes to Chris!”
“I’ll send them to Reddit then.”
“No! what the fuck!” She had laughed out the last words.
“You’re right, they’d put me in jail… I’ll send them from your phone!”
Ashley took her own phone and snapped her friend on the carpet:
“Here. Disney star Ness Hudj hammered stupid on a Sunday night. How bout’ dat, TMZ?”
“Come on, the whole world is masturbating tonight, THE WHOLE FUCKIN’ PLANET! It’s like a pagan feast or some shit! Can’t we just have fun too?”
Ashley had been right all evening but now it was Vanessa’s turn, it seemed. She was not wrong, at the funeral of fame you have to have uncontrollable laughter.
The actress/singer, 30 in a year, observed her friend, brunette, co-worker, wingwoman, 17 like it was yesterday but really 25. That friend now, as if to make some obscure statement, was busy taking a selfie that involved giving the finger and mouthing Fuck you
. She did not post it anywhere.
And when that friend was done doing that and pulled her attention back to the couch, Ashley was undressing, torn between giggling and blushing. But mostly blushing.
They stared at each other, throughout the removal of pants, hoodie, headband… There was no perceptible alcohol in Vanessa’s gaze anymore.
“I’m not wearing a bra,” Ashley said softly. So Vanessa pulled her shirt off and unhooked hers. She threw it at her, making her breasts bounce. Ashley’s bounced in response when she caught the thin piece of clothing.
They were the same size.
She grabbed the remote and muted the damn TV.
There was body heat in the fabric.
She grabbed her panties and pulled them down.
Again, she posed like in the hacked photo, scrutinizing it, feeling a little less heavy in the heavy silence. And Vanessa immortalized that moment.
They met somewhere down on the carpet to have a look at the result.
Ashley, if any proof was needed, saw how beautiful she was completely naked; for a second she understood the whole fuckin’ planet.
“Ok, delete this,” she said.
“Alright! but not J-Law.”
Ashley went back to the laptop and tapped around. Her face lightened up suddenly and she took off the bra.
Pulling a pose she said: “Guess who.”
It took a few seconds for Vanessa’s inebriated brain to recognize her own self—the finger in the mouth, the spread legs and the smooth cleft, the lewd look up at a phone that wasn’t there—when she did she exploded in mock-outrage, but with no cushion to throw, she tore her sweatpants off and aimed at Ashley’s shit-eating grin.
Target was hit although the target only saw this new prop as an opportunity to re-enact another leak: she wrapped her hair in the pants and clawed the air like a sexy panther.
“Roar,” said the imitator and the imitated snapped a shot, then stared at the picture without a word, its light glowing on her face.
It put Ashley on the slightly nervous side, enough to notice it underneath the booze.
“Do I make a good Vanessa Hudgens?” she asked.
“Hotter than Jennifer Lawrence?”
“Hotter than Kate Upton?”
“Not gonna lie, I could be the rest of the world right now!”
“What do you mean?”
And then, casually, never looking away from the screen, the real Vanessa slid a hand down her panties.
“You should do my other photos,” she said, “the ones that haven’t leaked yet.”
“Seriously. There’s like a dozen missing.”
“K, describe me one then.”
Vanessa described to Ashley and Ashley followed the description, not believing she was actually doing it. Vanessa couldn’t believe it either, however ten seconds later she was looking at a picture of Ashley Tisdale sprawled on the couch, gripping her ankles, pushing on her toes and raising her waist to present lips and anus. Her face in the background, almost out of focus, was this time definitively sultry.
“Ok, for the next one you need to spread your lips, it’s a close-up of my clitoris—”
“Aight I’m done!” Ashley looked around for a blanket.
Because she was wet.
“Cause you’re wet?”
Silence. Awkward glares. Blanket twirling over flushing skin.
“Are you wet because you’re posing nude or are you wet because I’m touching myself? Or a bit of both?”
More silence. Eyes lowering awkwardly. Blanket tight around the neck.
Vanessa got to her feet, delicately. Then she joined her friend on the couch and wrapped her arms around her, delicately.
“I love you, Tiz,” she whispered.
“I love you too, but this is getting out of control.”
She was holding out her phone.
Ashley eventually let her eyes fall on the screen.
Her photo was obscene of course, and weird to look at, but… Vanessa fingered it away. The original shot appeared and it was astonishing: the brunette exposing herself in the same accurately matched pose. The muscles in her calves tensing sensually under the olive skin. Her feet arching against the floor. Her vagina which Ashley had actually never seen before. Her eyes hidden behind jet-black curls and yet shining through with lust and life. This is so hot
, she thought. “This is so hot!” she said. “Austin saw this?”
“Of course, I took them for him.”
“What did he say?”
“He blew his load, what do you think? Are your toys still in the nightstand?”
“NESSA FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!
But Nessa had already sprung away, heading for the bedroom. Ashley was left alone, looking like a teepee.
And quickly she snatched her panties from the floor and wiped the grool off her pussy with it.
“I totally saw that!” Vanessa said. She was back from her errand, a dildo in each hand. And she had ditched panties and socks.
Now as naked as her friend, as irreversibly flustered too, she sat back in front of the couch and tossed her one of the fake penises.
“Quit throwing shit at me!
” the teepee whined.
Despite the steamy atmosphere they couldn’t resist a laugh.
Ashley looked at the sextoy coyly. It was the one with the suction cup, Vanessa had kept the vibrating one for herself. She was using it openly now, flicking her clit while taking flicks faster than a movie camera.How many billions are doing the same right at this moment?… What the hell is happening tonight? My God… …Should I call my broker and buy Kleenex stocks? Who owns Kleenex anyw—
She fixed the dildo at the center of the coffee table. She mentioned she had never been this wet before—to Vanessa or to the phone, she couldn’t really tell. And then she squatted, knees apart, to impale herself on the eight inches until there was only the silicone ballsack poking out. She exhaled with relief.
At no point she realized that Vanessa had not given her any instructions.
Softly she asked “How do I look?” and the photographer could only answer with an orgasm. Vanessa’s hand circled deeper, sharper, her mouth twisted into the shape of a strange O and, stunning, daunting, mesmerizing, her eyes stayed wide open, locked on her phone, all throughout the assaults of her pleasure.
It took Ashley a long time after Vanessa was finished to notice that she herself was slowly budging up and down her toy; that soft sighs were escaping her mouth; and most surprising of all, her right hand was pinching her left nipple.
She felt so dizzy, envious of that gorgeous woman who was lying on the floor, sated and basking. Discreetly, she reached for her own phone and took a picture of the unbelievable sight: Ness Hudj stark naked starfish, a rabbit vibrator lying between her thighs, half passed out from a voyeur orgasm on a Sunday evening.
The shutter sound effect woke her up. “Oh… Oh man…” She giggled and sat up, grinning like she had forgotten what had just happened but immediately she lifted her phone again and waited for Ashley to proceed with the pussy toying.
“What was the next photo like?” the latter asked.
“You tell me,” Vanessa shrugged, “you’re the one impersonating celebrities. So show me how Vanessa Hudgens’ next shot would look.”
Ashley stood up off the dildo, producing a squishy noise she had never heard before, because again, she had never been this wet before. She looked down at the thick string of grool she also had produced, dangling down her pussyhole and on the toy.*shutter sound*
She stepped backwards up onto the table and crouched down. Then, hazy eyes raised at the lens, she pushed her hips forwards to line up the dildo with her asshole. Vanessa gasped; Ashley lowered herself down.
The bulbous tip, as it slowly plunged upward her most intimate inner walls, squeezed more fluid out of her parted, exposed slit.
Half of the toy inside her, she pushed back up. And then down again and it looked easy, effortless, and the opposite of painful—a silent confession they both were not prepared for. They blushed when their eyes met.
“I guess I should be flattered…” Vanessa said with a voice crushed by arousal. “Fuck, I definitely am! Ashley you’re so beautiful!”
“Put the phone down.”
“Put the phone down! Put it away!”
She complied, disappointed but also suddenly trembling with intense nervousness.
She tried again “Why can’t I—”
“Because I want to offer this to you
, not the whole fuckin’ Internet!”
Ashley was fucking herself steadily.
“Offer me what? Ash, tell me! please!
Ashley resisted the begging, breaking voice of her best friend, because her answer was close, just on the edge.
She came. Incredulous of her shameless decision. Containing her moans and groans to save what little composure she had left. But squeezing out without any restraint three spurts of squirt that crashed right at the feet of Vanessa.
They could have cried at this moment, of emotion, of mind-blowage…
Instead they stayed speechless, in a wordless gaze going back and forth.
Just as silently, Vanessa stood up and walked up to Ashley, falling between her bent knees to catch her into an aggressive embrace.
The blonde began fucking her ass again, and she felt the brunette slide the other dildo inside her dripping pussy.
Vanessa had no idea if she had tried double penetration before, and didn’t care. All that mattered was breaking the containment, to bring these moans and groans out and see how Ashley Tisdale looked cumming out of control.
Ashley stuck her hips out to get more of the toy inside her—the two toys actually—she grinded and grinded, she locked her eyes on Vanessa when really she wanted to lock her lips.
“How do I look?” she whimpered.
“The hottest Nessa Hudgens I’ve ever seen,” Vanessa moaned. “Come on, squirt again! Make her a slut! Make me a dirty little squirtslut!” and she doubled down with the dildo, disregarding the increasing tightness, utilizing the increasing wetness.
She felt the pussy starting to clamp around it.
Lost in her two holes and the hands of her beautiful friend, Ashley completely forgot she was trying to suppress her cries of pleasure and they immediately drowned out the soggy sounds coming from down her crotch. That same pleasure exploded across her, her face frowned into the same overwhelmed expression she could see on the face of Vanessa, but not even a hint of surprise twitched it (them)
as cum spurted between their bodies. Because they expected it, they wanted it. It splattered their breasts, hardened their nipples, flowed down their stomachs and their voices reached a fleeting sync, left behind all differences between who was orgasming and who was watching.
The warm cloud of spray under the dome of their chests hissed of its sparkling whips for a too short moment. Their scalding skin felt as one for a long moment. Perhaps they even kissed.
But eventually the two dildos popped out of Ashley and she collapsed over Vanessa, onto the soaked carpet. And they laughed. And laughed. And made their hearts full and their lungs empty.
Their phones lightened up with more missed calls in the night falling on the room.
They looked at them eventually.
“What do we do? Do we post the photos? Should we break the Internet?” they said.
“Some photos together maybe?”
“Who will take them? Selena?”
“You know you can also take videos with an iPhone, right?”
“What time is it?”
“I can reach it. Look, I can reach it. All I have to do is reach out. I’m one tap away from federal prison.”
“How many millions of people do you think we’d make cum before they arrest us?”
“Fuck me, I didn’t become an artist for that… Do you think Zac saw the leaks?”
“Zac… and Ryan Gosling… and your mom.”
“I have more followers than you on Twitter.”
“Screw you. Bitch.”
“I need to hydrate.”