Episode 14
I know Megan Fox is a lot more reasonable than this story makes her out to be, but it’s much funnier writing characters who mess up constantly.
Codes: Cons, MF, anal, facial, flexibility
Starring: Megan Fox
This story is smutty, sleazy, morally corrupt and will probably make you into a worse person. Consequently, it shouldn’t be read by anyone.
This story is FICTION. It did NOT happen. The people portrayed in this story do NOT act this way in real life.
August 2008«I assure you, I’ve had my fair share of getting people out of difficult situations, if that’s what you ask Greta. That being said, I also have experience getting them INTO those situations. Just so you know who you’re dealing with.»
«Oh dear! What kind of trouble are we talking about Alex?»
«Eh, there was this time I drove my friends’ car into a deep ditch, far into the woodlands of Montana, with said friend and a couple of other buddies in the backseat. There were broken bones and broken noses.»
«Goodness me. We have a super-criminal in our firm.»
«Now now, I made up for it. I had to walk to a nearby farm to ask for the owner to call for help, only to find out the people there didn’t have electricity. It was a grueling walk after that.»
«I’d say you’re qualified for this task then. Because Megan sounded like she was in dire needed of assistance.»
I stood in Greta’s office, silently analyzing her sense of decoration. On the top floor of Bowerton, you’d sometimes think movies was the only thing on anyone’s mind, with the vast collection of classic poster art on display. Not so with Greta. Her speciality was mountains. Her room was plastered in it - from the golden peaks of the African continent, the snow clad tops of the Andes, to the soaring heights of Himalaya.
As the daughter of famous mountain climber Eldridge Mabel, Greta had grown up with her mother, never having much contact with her dad who was always out on his glory hunt for the next climb, and the next expedition. When he died, Greta had been left with a fortune considered to be in the millions. I always assumed her mountainous fetish was her way of honoring her father’s merits.
How she had landed her job here at StarGazer was something of a mystery I had never asked about.
My three year absence had seen her rising in status. She held considerable power over the business affairs at this place, in a position comparable to Conrad’s private secretary. She and her assistant Cora controlled the information going in and out. She decided when Conrad was open for conversations, she booked his conferences and the major events StarGazer participated in. She was also the one who kept in touch with our actors, so she was the one who got the incoming call from Megan Fox.
«So what exactly happened?» I asked her.
«No idea. I got a few confused texts, and then I got the call. She said that…»
«Why did she contact us though?» I interrupted. «If there’s a situation, wouldn’t she be better off calling the police?»
«We’re her lifeline. Everyone at StarGazer are this to our clients. In the case of emergency, I want them to assess the situation before they call the cops if possible. They know we have ways of dealing with trouble that won’t make it to the headlines.»
«Hmmm.»
«Remember the time you took care of the Durner case?»
«Of course.»
«Perfect example. We can withhold information the police will leak. For people in the spotlight, that is valuable.»
I couldn’t really argue with her on that. Although it made it sound like we’re some kind of a secret celebrity police.
«Okay, so what did Megan say?»
«It was a bit difficult to get anything from her. She wasn’t making much sense and kept going on about being on her own in a place called Hummerville. She said that she needed assistance to get her out of there. And she sounded… worried, that’s the only way I can describe it, but when I asked her if she was in any trouble she aborted the call. I tried to call back and got no answer. The line has been dead for nearly an hour.»
«Hummerville… That name sounds strangely familiar.»
«I would assume you’re thinking of our designated test area where Emma Stone will be going in a few months?»
«Ah, that’s where I got it from.»
«It’s got plenty of trashy hellholes surrounding it, including one called Stuart’s Revenge which is place.»
«So Hummerville’s the biggest town in the area?»
«As close to a «town» as you’ll get around those places.»
«Okay! So let me get this straight; these cases are not in any way related? Megan’s not there because it’s a preparation plantation?»
«I can’t imagine. It was added to our location map just recently. No-one but us knows about it.»
«That’s some coincidence though. What’s in it for Megan?»
«No idea. That’s what I’d like you to find out Alex. You can do it right?»
«I can. I think.»
«You’re designed for these kind of situations, Alex. That’s why I’m glad to have you around again.»
«Just leave it to me Miss Moneypenny.»
She chuckled. It was the first time I had ever heard her laugh.
«Good luck James.»
***
Hummerville - an insignificant blip on the radar, a few clicks east of Visalia. It took me over three hours to get there - enough time for Megan Fox to die many times over, but I had to block those thoughts away. Dramatic situations had been solved smoothly before, had it not? That said, I couldn’t stop thinking what kind of mess Megan had gotten herself in. In that place of all things. I couldn’t imagine she had relatives there, so a family visit was out of the question. Occasional speeding tickets, and cases of drunk driving weren’t uncommon in our line of work, but this time I sensed something more serious was at hand.
Criminal activity? I couldn’t rule it out.
Getting to the place was one thing. But how did I contact Megan if her phoneline was dead? There was no indication she was in possession of any other kind of message receiver, and from what Greta had told me, I did not believe for a second that I would encounter her by driving around and spotting her by chance, picking her up in the middle of the street.
The one strike of luck was that Hummerville turned out to be a ridiculously small place - barely more than an improvised village. Consequently, if she was still here there would be only a handful of likely hideouts. Parking my car - a 1980 Chevrolet Camaro - at an abandoned gas station, I went out to take a closer look.
The place gave me associations to an old school western where the entire city infrastructure was lined up on each side of the main street, allowing traffic to pass up and down freely. There was something about the place that looked like a postcard from 60’s American suburbia when people still thought capitalism would save the country. While it held certain nostalgic beauty, it was nonetheless a hollowed-out shell of a community which had seen better days. The downfall of some private business which held the place afloat had doomed the area approximately 30-40 years ago if the dominating architecture was anything to go by. There were parts of the town that looked post-apocalyptic. The church had a caved-in roof, the middle school was partially torn down, and some buildings only had ruins left behind.
Still, this was a panorama of untouchable elegance compared to the trailer park where Emma Stone would go in a few months.
I was passing along the main street. Business didn’t exactly thrive around here. Some of the stores were marked with huge «for sale» signs, while other places looked like they hadn’t been in business for years. I considered a few cafeterias and restaurants, but decided it was no use. Few of them were open, and most seemed to be light on people. Asking if they had seen a missing person probably wasn’t the best approach either.
Seriously, what the hell was Megan doing in this place?
I continued down the street, passing a traffic light dangling above me. It signaled green, but there were no cars to be seen apart from a few rusty vans beside the holed up pavement.
The place was unusually quiet for this time of day. Or maybe this was how it always was around here? Nothing but a few people were out. I spotted a couple of guys at the end of the street, standing by their car, who looked strangely out of place for some reason. Apart from them, an old gentleman was sitting in a rocking chair on his porch on the other side of the road, and an elderly heavyset woman with a broom stood outside a variety shop.
It felt like I was in one of those quiet-before-the-storm moments in a classic western: Right before the bad-guys ride into town, and the sheriff has to take his stand and hand out some justice in the final shoot-out.
I had examined the entire main street when I passed by a bushy hedge surrounding an overgrown property. That’s when I spotted the motel. A larger town would have hotels, but this place wasn’t big enough to sustain such luxury. If Megan was still around these parts it was worth a try. I jogged over to the building as a yellow Pickup passed behind me.
Like the rest of Hummerville, the motel had seen better days. The building was in dire need of a paintjob, and the eastern section had been torn apart and laid strewn over the parking lot. A construction job gone bad? I had to wonder what would cause such damage, and why no-one would bother to clean up the mess and rebuild the place, but that’s small town economics (or the lack of thereof) for you.
I was considering my options on how to proceed as I scanned the apartments.Traffic seemed lax, and there were no cars parked outside - making the place seemed dead and deserted.
I was about to turn back, when I spotted movement in one of the windows. All of the rooms looked abandoned, or had their curtains open, but in apartment 7 on the ground floor, the curtains were drawn shut. A slight wave in the fabric told me someone had peeked through for a moment.
Should I? The chances of finding her here seemed slim, but a minor chance was better than what I had to work with up until that point. I decided to give it a try, although I was afraid to reveal my position. Walking up to the apartment door I knocked twice, calling out to her.
«Megan?»
No answer. Glancing around I saw no-one. I tried again in a slightly louder voice.
«Megan? It’s Alexander from StarGazer!»
Twenty seconds passed. I almost knocked a third time when the door suddenly opened an inch, like whoever was inside was hesitant to greet newcomers. It was dark inside, but I could make out the gorgeous face staring out at me.
«…Alexander?»
«Megan? It’s you?»
As she opened the door wide and I laid my eyes on her, I was seconds away from calling her Mikaela. There were times when fact and fiction intertwined and made it difficult to tell which was which. Megan’s outfit would make anyone believe she was in character for the upcoming Transformers sequel: Tight denim jeans and a rather skimpy orange tank top that showed her toned arms and abs. She even had the same make-up job, and resembled her character to the point it was uncanny.
Time froze. She knew me well enough to recognize me, but she needed a few moments to contemplate the fact I was really standing here.
«Alexander, you… Someone actually came.» she said relieved, like a sailor adrift who spots the helicopter in the distance.
As I came with her inside, I noticed picked up a few things. She was far too quick to shut the door, and her hands were giving off a slight shake. Besides drawing the blinds shut, there was also a large chair standing misplaced right beside the door. Had she used it to block the passage? Everything about her felt off, like she was on the run from something.
«Megan, Greta told me you were stranded. I’m amazed I even found you like this. Are you okay?»
«Yes… kinda… Sure…»
I glared at her sternly.
«Megan, is someone after you?»
«It’s… Yeah… I mean… No…»
She stuttered these words as she turned her face away.
«Be serious with me. You seem shaken.»
«I…»
She refused to meet my gaze. Unable to stand still, she was shifting her legs from side to side like she needed to go to the bathroom, and shook her head in an annoyed gesture, her long brown hair waving around her head. She was, if possible, even lovelier in this casual outfit than in a billion dollar dress, but if she had been involved in something criminal, all the beauty in the world wouldn’t help her.
«Listen,» I said, adapting a teacher’s rhetoric, «if there’s something I should know I think this is the time to tell me Megan. I can’t see your car outside, and judging from this room it seems like you have barricaded yourself in here. Please! If there’s something I should know, I’d like to know it before we’re attacked by wiseguys from the Russian mob.»
Finally she broke.
«Okay goddamnit! You wanna know what’s up? Fuck it! This is it!» she said angry while she pulled something out of her purse. It was wrapped in foil, with a crude smiley tacked on.
Sitting down in one of the chairs, she acted like an annoyed teenager having to explain herself for a concerned parent. I sighed, probably sounding a lot like a disappointed father.
«Megan, Please don’t tell me you’ve got a heroin addiction.»
«This is marihuana you dumbass!» she almost shouted. «I’d never touch h-shit with a ten foot poole!»
«Okay, okay! That’s reassuring to hear.» I said, staring at her package which exceeded any reasonable weight limit for medical use in the state. As liberal as California was, recreational use was still far off into the horizon in those days. «Alright! Please tell me what happened. You came here all by yourself?»
«I did. The people doing business around here sell the best stuff there is. Top quality. Normally I’d have a third part making the deal for me, but the guy helping me… Uh, couldn’t make it this time, and I have lots of free time now when Michael is waiting to finish principal photography on Transformers 2.»
«So you decided to make a drug deal yourself and drove all the way up here? Oh, Jesus…»
«Don’t sound like a worrywart. No-one knows I’m here. I took the bus yesterday, and I wore sunglasses. See!» she pulled out a pair of dark Ray-Bans to show me. She didn’t exactly ooze confidence this lady. At least I don’t think Ian Fleming wouldn’t have been impressed.
«Right, so you met these people earlier today?»
«Down at the Dixie Diner. We had a brief exchange this morning, just like I was told…»
«So you got your bag. Okay, fine.» I said impatient. «Then why are you in hiding? Did these people want more cash or something?»
«They did. For no reason they demanded I paid them 150 percent. They didn’t trust me, although I insisted I was the same person they had done business with on previous occasions.»
«Megan, you can’t trust people like this. You’re lucky they didn’t pull guns on you.» I said, trying to scare a little sense into her. «Now, how did you get away from them?»
«I excused myself and said I had to go to the bathroom. That’s when I made the call to Greta, hoping she would send someone to pick me up.»
«You didn’t think of calling Greta back again, or at least pinpoint a location? I’ve been all over town looking for you.»
«Well, you see… I think I heard them approach from the outside. I needed to get out quick, so that’s when I flushed my phone down in the toilet and jumped out the window.» She said with a proud smile.
«You flushed your phone down the toilet?» I smacked my face in disbelief. «Why the hell would you do something like that?»
«That’s what professional spies do when they’re in trouble, right? No-one will be able to trace me that way.»
She spoke like this was supposed to make all sense in the world. I didn’t bother explaining to her how a bunch of hillbilly criminals were unlikely to possess the kind of equipment she had feared. Instead, I decided to be blunt with her.
«Listen up Megan… Both Greta and I appreciate you being careful, but you don’t seem to understand the mess you’ve put yourself in here. These gangs are dangerous. They won’t show mercy if you sneak out of a deal with money unpaid. Not to mention, they have all sorts of spanners and paid informants who’ll give you away without second thought. If the cops ever find out about this you’ll be fined at best. You could potentially face prison.»
Her eyes widened, like she had heard something unbelievable.
«But… But I can’t go to jail!» she said in disbelief. «I’m an actress.»
I would’ve smacked my face again if it didn’t sting so much from the firs time.
«Do you even listened to yourself? This is real life Megan, and life has real consequences.»
«But I’m a celebrity. People will miss me.» she replied with an utterly clueless look on her face.
I was about to lecture her in the ways of American laws, which seemed like a subject she hadn’t paid much attention to, when developments of disquieting nature arose. People were talking outside. Men by the sound of it. Loudly. At the sharp sound of a gun cocking, Megan reacted like she had been hit and turned a sickly white.
«Oh, fuck! They’re here!»
«Who’s here? The people you made the deal with?»
«Yes!»
«Who are they? Local gang?»
«The Moody brothers. The guys running things around here.»
«Alright, I’m not in the mood to play diplomat right now. We need to get the fuck out of here.»
Megan set off towards the front door. Did she think she could simply run past them?
«No way in hell are we getting out that door.» I warned her as I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around. Right then I cursed myself because I had come unarmed. I should’ve brought a hand cannon.
The commotion outside intensified as we ran for the bath. The sole window hung high on the wall, but using the toilet as a provisory ladder we could both manage to squeeze outside.
I feared some of these goons would anticipate our escape and wait for us outside, but I reasoned they were still unsure if Megan was really here at the motel. Perhaps they had made the same decision I had, and gone for the apartment that looked most suspicious.
Megan wiggled her shapely ass through the opening and landed steadily on the asphalt, less than two meters below. I followed, contemplating how the last time I had to make a window-escape was due to an angry husband’s early arrival home. Sad story.
Megan stood alongside an overfilled dumpster, awaiting my instructions.
«Listen, my car is parked outside the abandoned gas station on the main street.» I said, motioning for her to follow me. «You know the way?»
«I think so, yes.»
«Fine. Stick close to me. Don’t run off on your own.»
Taking off in a fast jogging-tempo, we crossed the entirety of Hummerville in minutes. I dared to throw an occasional glance back. No-one in sight. No shouting, no warning-shots behind us. So far so good, but I feared time was running out. These people didn’t seem to be the kind of guys to mess around with.
Without complications, we reached my Camaro and jumped in. I wanted to get us out as fast as possible, but a car taking off at full speed would alert pursuers. Better take it slow. Don’t cause any unnecessary drama.
Slowly I entered the main street. Megan glared at me with skepticism, probably wondering why I didn’t move faster. With a little luck, we would reach the exit in a few minutes. The motel we had escaped laid on the outskirt of this place. Hopefully, Megan’s friends were still searching for us there.
We had made way halfway through this rural utopia when we came to the intersection I had passed when I first got here. Red light. Fine. Calm down and get ready to move. Don’t act rashly. Megan turned around to see if we were followed, but there was no-one in sight. Nice. Don’t stare at her boobs. Wait for the light to shift to green and go.
A yellow Pickup truck came in on my right. I noticed it from an earlier encounter. Pickups were the norm around here. It meant nothing. Nothing at all.
What DID mean something was the people in the car pointing at us, and the sound of shouting. I thought I heard someone yell «get them», although I can never be sure because that’s when roaring engines exploded.
The hunt was on. And now we needed to get out of here fast as hell.
«OUT! NOW! GET ME OUT OF HERE! THAT WAY! NO! THAT WAY! THERE! NO! NOT THAT WAY! TURN BACK! WE NEED TO TURN BACK!»
Megan bawled thoughtlessly, yelling commands that made no sense and waving her arms maniacally like there was a wasp inside the car. I tried to ignore her and steer past the large tractor which was right then backing into the road. Talk about shitty timing!
I threw the Camaro to the left and drove up on the pavement for a few seconds, throwing it right back again. Things moved fast, and I had to think fast, but it was difficult to concentrate due to Megan’s infernal screaming. Taking a chance, I skipped the bend leading up to the exit and drove over a grassy trench, literally jumping into the main road - roaring northwards to safety as fast as my tires would take us.
I thought for sure we had gained the better half of a minute on our gangster posse, but a quick glance in the rearview mirror deflated my hopes. These fuckers were in hot pursuit. I had the better car, but these people were on their home turf. And while my car was sturdier than theirs, I had all reason to believe they were armed and would make swiss cheese out of us if they got the chance. Megan had drawn her knees up to her chest and hid her face in her hands, babbling thoughtlessly.
«Ohgodohgodohgodohgod!» she messed like she had experienced a religious call.
I was in no position to pray. Divine intervention don’t win car chases. Horsepower do, and I had hundreds of them, plus years of experience running from pursuers.
Something was wrong though. The Camaro was able to push 200. Why the hell was it going 120? Engine malfunction? I cursed out loud when a loud blast was heard from somewhere outside. No car sounds. This was…
«OH FUCK! THEY’RE SHOOTING AT US! THEY’RE SHOOTING AT US!» Megan screamed.
Pumping my foot so hard I just about tore through the car, I tried getting the Camaro up to decent speed. Unfortunately, these fuckers seemed like they were trained in car-warfare. A guy was hanging out of the window on their passenger side, looking like Kid Rock after a bad night out. Holy hell! This had actually turned into Bullitt. Only this time the chase played out over a long flat field.
Another shoot rang out, but no windshield shattered, and no tire exploded. They had either fired to high, too low, or too far. Hitting moving targets is difficult even if you’re experienced.
There was a third shot, but Megan’s hysterical screaming deafened the sound. We were racing down a long field that stretched perhaps three kilometers in a straight line. The Camaro was slowly closing in on 150, but the guys behind me were suddenly coming up in a frightening speed. Did they amp up their engine with nitro?
Gaining enough confidence to come up on my left, I reasoned at this distance it would be impossible for them to miss. We were in big trouble now unless I took drastic measures.
Racing up beside us, I noticed they laid themselves dangerously far out to the left of the road. This was a foolhardy move that gave me a chance to be creative. If they were ready to fire at us with live ammunition they damn well had to deal with the consequences.
Deciding it was time to play stuntman and damage my dear Camaro, I took a risk and made a swift slowdown before I swerved hard to the left - landing a blow on their rear end. The force was less powerful than I had hoped, but that bump was all it took. In this speed, anything can be disastrous, as the Moodys quickly found out.
The Pickup tilted towards the slope on the left, and gravity took care of the rest - pulling it into a catastrophic roll which sent the car tumbling into series of brutal somersaults.
I had seen quite a few car accidents in my life, but nothing like this. The machine tore into a field of tall grass, and for a moment there was a near cartoonish quality to the way the Pickup plowed into the growth like a massive gopher digging through it.
«HOLY SHIT!» Megan shouted.
I looked back. Those guys better had their seatbelts on if they wanted to walk away from that unscratched. A massive cloud of smoke flew into the air as the car came to a halt somewhere inside the green.
«You think they died?» Megan asked concerned.
«Unfortunately not.» I said to her. «They seemed to me like the thick-headed kind of guys who would take shotgun blasts to the chest and shrug it off.»
«I sure hope… OH FUCK! The pigs are on their way Alex!»
«You can’t be serious!»
Unfortunately, she was. Blinking lights sparkled in the distance. Still on the other end of this vast plain, but closing in fast.
Where the fuck were you five minutes ago, I thought bitterly. I didn’t get more than a vague impression before a slight turn to the right sent them out of sight, but finding shelter was now a top priority. Preferably within the next few seconds. They would be occupied with the Moody gang for some minutes, but as soon as they were done they would start looking for that suspicious black car disappearing in the distance. Further chase would result in all the chaos and drama I had hoped to avoid.
I was considering to launch my personal Indianapolis 500 to gain as much distance as possible when I spotted a large Victorian house to the left of the road, about half a kilometer ahead. It was definitely abandoned, with all windows boarded up. What caught my interest however, was the large shed standing behind it. If I could make the right maneuver it would be worth the risk.
Slowing down, I made sure the cops were still out of sight.
«What the hell are you doing? We need to haul ass! Get me out of here!» Megan whined.
I ignored her pleads and made a smooth turn at slowest possible speed, making sure no rash skid marks gave away our position. Driving behind the large building, I stopped right outside the large shed. It wasn’t a garage. Most likely a stall, but with a little luck, the place would be empty.
«Megan, get out and open those doors for me.»
Watching her run out and struggle to get the gates open, I got that unmistakably dreamy feeling again. I was literally running from the cops after participating in a car chase with redneck gangsters - gunfire, crashes and marihuana sales included. Mad Max 4: Californian Carnage!
Backing into the dirty old building, there was a screeching sound as the car tested the endurance of the floor, making the woodwork bulge. It held, but I was glad I hadn’t taken a heavier car today. Sprinting outside, I joined Megan on the porch, forcing open the door on rusty hinges.
It smelled like the house itself was a dying entity, shriveled from decades of neglectance. Cow-webs dominated the roof, and it looked like a battalion of punks had gone loco inside the living room. Walls were smashed with everything from a sledgehammer to an axe. Here and there were black smoky spots as if someone had lit fireworks. Graffiti was everywhere. I noticed one huge rant that said «Gary Moody love to be assfucked». The place was a dump, but it would hopefully give us shelter for the upcoming police hunt.
Walking over to the windows, I thought about how only a few minutes had elapsed since the chase began. In a dramatic life-threatening situation, time has a habit of standing still and you’re totally oblivious to how fast it transpires.
Peeking through the boarded window we had a clear view to the southern part of the road. There was no smoke in the distance, which meant the poor bastards at least had avoided a flaming death. No cops were in sight, but they would be here in seconds if they had any clue where to look. Had I done the right calculations? I was confident we could lay low inside here, but our safety relied on the cops not regarding the possibility of hiding right by the crime scene. In a way, I had copied Megan’s own ploy as she hid from her pursuers at the motel.
I was about to speak to her when movement on the road caught my eye. A person was running toward us. Harried and confused, he had to be one of the Moody goons. It was a strange and unsettling sight - his unsteady gain made me think he was trying to hide on the right side of the road, but was unable to do so because every sense of direction had been knocked loose by the car crash.
«How the fuck did he escape the cops? Was he flung from the car and landed 300 meters away?» Megan said shocked.
«Could be he got out of the wreckage and hid in the grass. It doesn’t matter. What matters is he’s coming here.»
The guy kept coming. Stumbling like the walking dead, aiming straight for this house.
«Should we set a trap for him, or…» Megan began.
«No… Wait!»
Blue flashing lights coming up behind him. The cops were going to catch him seconds away from safety. This guy really had one horribly bad day.
Realizing further resistance was futile he sank down on the ground, no more than 100 meters from us, right by the dirt-trail we had come in minutes before. The police car was beside him in seconds. A large officer - big as a barn - came out. Sinking right below the window, I pushed Megan down with me. Listening cautiously, the voices outside carried over.
«My, my, my! You Moody bros. sure are greedy causing trouble, or what Jasper! What’s this? Seventh time this year? We’re getting a bit tired of babysitting you guys.»
We were listening a man repeating an all too familiar scene in his life.
«Guys! Fer the love of Gawd. Dis wasn’t a hit and run. I swear! There were this pretty city-gal who wanted some… uh…. stuff… and we jus gave her wat she wanted.»
«A hot LA chick, right?»
«Yea, dat was what she looked like.»
«Oh, I bet! Next, you’ll tell me Hollywood actresses are having daily sightseeing trips to buy your weed.»
«I bet it was that hot mechanic chick from that Transformers movie, eh?» some other cop laughed in the background. Me and Megan stared at each others in disbelief.
«L… Listen, she had someone wit ‘er. Pushed us off da road. She could be right around these parts now. Hiding in dat villa for all I knows.»
«I wouldn’t worry too much about them Jasper. Right now you should be more interested in your brother. By the look of things, Darwin seems to have suffered a concussion, and that’s the best case scenario.»
«Oh man!» Jasper sulked despondent. I almost felt a little bad for him.
I dared to peek outside for a moment. The man - Jasper - was brutally shoved into the waiting car. Another patrol car appeared in the distance. In minutes there would be salvage trucks and maybe an ambulance.
While I was sure they didn’t get our license number, or even a very good look at my Camaro, I had to believe they would unleash a manhunt for speeding cars in the district. With the labyrinth of roads in these parts of the state, not to mention the frequent presence of douchebags coming in to test their sports cars on desolate roads, we would be pretty low on the list if we kept calm. Staying here for a while would be the best. For once, Megan acted like a grown-up.
«We’ll hide here until the storms blown over, right?»
«We do. Best playing it safe.»
A police truck passed the house in about 200 and headed towards the interstate. My plan had already worked by the looks of things.
Feeling like I had held my breath for minutes, I let out a content sigh as I rested down against the wall. There was no questioning the adrenaline rush, running from the law like this (I fought the law, and I won). That the culprit in this hunt had been one of Hollywood’s hottest new darlings added a whole special dimension to the excitement.
«Ooookay, so we cleared that obstacle.»
«A thanks would be nice Megan.»
Hadn’t she been a beautiful woman I might have wanted to strangle her. I wasn’t really angry at her, but it might have sounded like that. I was only stressed out.
«I’m sorry Alexander. I’m so happy you helped me out of this situation. I… I…»
She trailed off, like she forgot how to communicate.
«Don’t mention it.» I smiled. «Believe it or not, but I’m used to situations like these. You couldn’t begin to imagine the things I’ve done these last years.»
Megan laughed.
«Wow, you say this like it’s your duty to help weak women in need.»
«It is.»
«And for that I’m grateful. I really am.»
«You do realize StarGazer have a responsibility for their clients? That means you too Megan. Greta was genuinely worried about you.»
«I know, I’m sorry for causing trouble.» she said, sounding sincerely.
I had been so fired up on adrenaline I hadn’t been able to take a proper look at her. It was no wonder Maxim and FHM were having a field day with her. She really was a beautiful young woman with that special spark which ignited red carpets. As she rose up from the wall and turned around to stare out the window, she almost mimicked that seductive car repair-pose from Transformers as she swayed her back.
«On the run from cops and gangsters. Fuck! It’s so… So…»
«It’s what?»
«So exciting, dontcha think?» she giggled cluelessly as a wicked grin spread on her pretty face.
«If you say so…»
«It’s kinda hot isn’t it?»
«It’s August.»
«That’s not what I meant.»
She was getting off of this? I shouldn’t have been surprised given her reaction to a situation this serious.
«It’s good to see this drama is getting to you Megan» I said sarcastically.
«It is. It fucking is!» That grin of hers widened so hard I thought she was being possessed. Moving from the window, in seconds she was literally jumping up and down in excitement. Had something short circuited inside her head or something?
«You don’t care there’s a police hunt for us in the area?» I said in a meek attempt at injecting some seriousness in the conversation. To deaf ears of course.
«No, I don’t care! And since I don’t care, no-one else should either!»
Like a little kid, jumping rope. Up and down. Up and down.
«I see some flaws in that logic… Hey! Where are you going?»
Megan took off like a rocket, running through the huge living room space and heading upstairs - the old stairwell creaking dangerously as she went.
«In movies, when people inspect old houses, there are all sorts of dirty secrets on the top floor.» she yelled down to me.
«Shouldn’t that be the basement?» I countered, questioning her horror movie knowledge, but I got no answer.
Deciding I would be better off keeping an eye on her, I followed. God only knew, maybe she’d climb up on the roof and shout obscenities to the cops just for fun.
Walking upstairs, I got a better view of the road outside. I could see a red toweling truck driving in to mop up the wreckage. As I tried to spot any cop cars I heard a joyous call further down the hallway.
«Eeeeeey! Come look at this!»
I entered the room her voice had come from and was greeted with an uncanny sight. At first I thought there was something up with the wallpaper that covered the room, until I realized it wasn’t wallpaper at all. The entire room was covered in cut-out pages from magazines, and it wasn’t from any kind. This was porn, and a lot of it.
«Fucking look at this! A room like this…. It must’ve been the jackoff-central for teens, or perverts around here who couldn’t get girls.» Megan speculated.
Gazing at the immense tapestry of vintage porn, the cuts seemed to originate from the early nineties or further back. I saw lots of power-bush and fluffy hair. A couple of mattresses laid in the corner, stacked on top of each other. They might have been white once, but were faded to grey, with some rancid yellowish marks on them. This whole room reeked of poverty and perversion, but Megan seemed enthralled.
«God! I wonder how much semen we spilled inside here. Enough to populate a whole state and enough to glue a person to the roof.»
«Definitely.» I said, halfway there as I «examined» a poster of the legendary Amber Lynn.
«…and I’m sure it will get even better soon!»
«How so?»
«Because we’re going to add more bodily fluids to this room one way or another!»
Not wasting a single nanosecond, Megan yanked her top over her head, exposing her medium size chest clad in a red bra. She hadn’t been over-eager to expose them so far in her career, but it seemed like that was about to change. Unclasping it, she let it fall to the ground - covering herself up with her hands as she turned to me.
«Admit it. This room makes you all hot and horny, and you can’t wait for me to strip naked so you can take me like a bitch.»
«The thought has vaguely entered my mind.» I said nonchalantly, pretending to be unfazed by her act, while my pants tightened so drastically it hurt.
«Good, because you’re going to have to fuck my brains out right here, right now.» she said, letting her hands fly to the air, her firm tits jiggling before me.
«I know I’m missing the point here Megan, but is this situation getting to you in some way?»
«Cmon, look around! It’s dingy perfection! We’re standing in a sleazy hole of a room with nothing but perversion. Tell me you do not find this situation tantalizing.»
I didn’t want to admit this situation was getting to me as much as Megan, but it was. The thought of bolling this out-of-control hotass inside this seedy environment was a turn on beyond the infinite.
«And you get to fuck me - Megan Fox - the greatest star of the new millennium.» she said as she acted like a horny cheerleader stereotype, swaying her body in snaking movements.
I wasn’t sure if she was playing it seriously. Normally, I’d be enraged by such arrogance, but there was something undeniably hot about women this confident. She had an ego to block out the sun, but she also had a body to prove herself, along with a sexual drive to back it up.
«And don’t play all high and mighty with me, because I know you’re experienced with «glad to be alive sex».»
«You… You say I’m experienced with what?»
«A certain Jessica Biel told me about that kidnapping scheme when she made Dynamic Duo some years ago.» She made an evil grin as she said this and began unbuckling her pants.
I hated to admit she had made a good point. I was all too familiar with stress-release through sex. The thought momentarily caught me off guard, but not enough to take me away from the sight of Megan sliding her jeans down. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure I paid attention to her ample assets in a black thong which split her ass in peachy fashion.
I could scream in joy at the sight of eager and undressing women. No wonder men go mad about them. I sure was guilty of this, because I had began to remove my clothes and it didn’t even register on me.
«Seems to me you are familiar with the need for coital release when the storm has passed.» she giggled as I got nude and my dick sprang into view.
I was about to reply, but decided it to be a waste of time. Words lack elegance. Sex makes the world go round, and there are no better way to celebrate the joys of living.
Having stripped down to her birthday suit, Megan was standing like a siren - sliding her hands seductively up and down herself as she teased me with her spectacular body. How her white slippers stayed on when she removed her denim pants I’ll never know, but they had a purpose, as there was no way you wanted to go barefoot inside this place. As soon as I realized that I put my Nikes back on again.
Megan walked over to the dirty bedding and laid back. Spreading her legs wide open, she hooked her needy eyes into me.
«You’re not concerned with what’s staining that mattress?» I asked, but she didn’t bother herself with trivial matters.
«You should be much more concerned with how YOU are gonna cram that giant COCK of yours between… THESE!»
Using her fingers on both hands, she pried her pussy lips open, exposing the juicy pinkness as boldly as the women on the photos around us. I was egged on by a creature with cravings of unimaginable nature, making resistance impossible. As I got down to my knees and eased myself into her steam bath, I barely needed preparation. She was that wet and open.
«Nnnnnggggggg, YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!»
I gripped her by the ankles as her filthy mouth spewed obscenities. We were in a great position of «advanced missionary» which gave me total control over her body. Megan didn’t mind at all if her moans were anything to go by. If only she knew how hard I could pound a woman her size. Strengthening my grip on her, I lifted her legs up and forced them further back so her ass shoot into the air - making her ripe for taking.
«Ooooooooo! I like that! Go on! Fuck the living shit out of me! That’s the only thing I’m good for - acting like a cheap slut on screen! Making guys all over the world want to fuck me!»
I could’ve laughed at such blunt honesty, but the absolute bimbo-perfection in that statement only encouraged me to fuck her harder. Pumping into her hot cunt, Megan got utterly caught up in my assault. All I heard from her were growling barks which I barely registered as I lost myself in pleasure. Pushing her ankles backwards until her shoes touched the wall behind her, I held her like that as I used her - plowing her juiciness like a madman. Her gaze was unfaltering and inhuman as her eyes pierced my own. Her tongue wiggling.
I felt like we had just started, but after less than a minute Megan was already ready to explode and guided me through the earth-shattering event.
«Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeeeeaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh! Can’t get enough of this tight juicy Hollywood-cunt of mine do you? Eh? Eh? EH? EH? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!»
Megan’s eyes widened and her voice pitched into a loud squeal as she spasmed around my dick. If police were within a 400 meter radius they would raid this place in seconds.
I had the chance to explode inside her there and then, but I decided to wait and pulled out of her as she collapsed onto her belly. Although it strained me to my limit not to splash a giant load all over her belly, I was able to contain release. I knew it would make things more pleasurable when I finally came, of which Megan would have something to say about, because she didn’t rest for long on that filthy bedding.
«That was fabulous Alexander. I haven’t been fucked this good since… three weeks ago. You’re a real keeper aren’t you!» she said pantingly.
«Glad to hear you enjoyed yourself Megan.» I said as I stroked my dick, trying to keep it as hard as possible.
«I see your cock is ready for round two already!» she purred.
«What do you have in mind?» I asked - giving her the initiative once again. I was confident she would suggest something worthwhile. Her naughty grin told me that much.
«I want to prime that huge veiny schlong of yours with spit, and then I want you to ram it deep into my tight shitter! That’s what I want!»
That animalistic confession worked its miracles. I got hard again so quick that Megan grinned at my rod engorging before her. She got down on her knees and grabbed me. Forcing two fingers down her throat she gargled up a massive river of salvia which erupted over my dick. Oral sex was not on her menu that day. It was all about priming up my joystick. My cock was soon covered in clear and watery fluid which dripped off me. By then Megan’s face had worked her fingers so far down her throat she had teared up and sent mascara smearing down her pretty face in black tears.
Prepping herself for the oncoming onslaught, she dumped her belly down into the mattress and shot her ass upwards.
«Take me like this! FUCK ME! DESTROY THAT ASS!»
I used the opportunity to tease her sphincter - smearing my dick all over it before the main course. Pressing inside her, I felt her tightness stretching around me like a glove. Her ass was no doubt one of the finest creations I had had the opportunity to play with since I started my adventures. Retracting my tool out of her body before ramming it back inside her, I tested her ass before going in with full force. I had to wonder how many men had been unable to resist the temptation of fucking her up her ample ass. There had to be many, because she acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary. Moving her hands back on her rump, she spread herself open as I moved inside her.
«FUUUAAAAAAACCKKKK! That’s so fucking gooood!»
Megan pushed her ass higher into the air, eager to find a stance that best allowed me to ram her as hard as I wanted. And encouraged by her filthy admissions I wanted to ram her HARD. This woman was built for assfucking, and she would get it to her hearts desire. Not wasting an opportunity to check out the rest of her sexy body, I slid my hands up and down her tights and moved in to tease her swaying tits - her nipples diamond hard underneath my fingers.
The funniest thing happened when I got distracted by the pornographic images above her head. I didn’t have to look far before finding a photo of a blonde bimbo getting fucked in the ass by a black man. I considered the purpose of porn to provide desirable fantasies, but in that moment - fucking a naughty Hollywood star - I felt like I was fully equal to the guy on the picture. The lines between fact and fiction was blurry, and not for the first time.
We copulated like this for a minute more before Megan got tired of being on the defensive.
«Pull me up. I can think of a way to make this even better.»
Helping her up from the dirty mattress, I followed her over to the boarded-up window on the eastern side of the room. Shoes were the only thing left on our bodies, which made us look like primitive wildlings seeking refuge inside a post-apocalyptical ruin. I swear, there was always a surreal quality to these celebrity encounters of mine.
Reaching for the window frame, Megan bent over. Her naughty nod was all I needed to get back in action. I didn’t even attempt to go soft because she had proven herself to be a natural anal-slut. Cramming my throbbing rod down her asshole in one go and watching myself sinking into that tightness was about the hottest thing I had ever seen. I almost let out a roar, trying to withheld my own pleasure. Megan wasn’t nearly as subtle about it. She was literally shouting her commands:
«FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK YEEESSSSS! OH FUCK! FUCKING RAM THAT GIANT COCK OF YOURS DOWN MY SHITHOLE! YEAAAAAAAAAAA!»
Slamming into her again, I didn’t hold back. She might have been ignorant when it came to various important subjects, but she was an expert when it came to wild and animalistic sex. Her anal skills were of a different world as I maneuvered myself inside her - Megan’s never-ending contractions manipulated her delicious ass around my dick. Glancing back at me, there was a look of pure aggression on her: Teeth grinding and her facial features pulled into a feral beast-mask, while she begged to be fucked like an animal.
«Harder, harder, harder, harder, HARDER, HARDER, HARDER, HARDER, HARDERHARDERHARDERHARDER!»
Giving in to her desire, my hands dug into Megan’s flesh so tightly she would have red marks the next day. She didn’t mind my treatment, instead she dared me to go rougher. The problem was that it would be dangerous to go harder than this. Not only would my bones dislocate by the sheer force I put into our mating, I would also risk sending her crashing through the window. I recalled a similar scene happening back at H-block a few years earlier when Tyra Banks craved sex. The only difference was that Megan was, if possible, even wilder. She leaned toward the boarded-up window and yelled out her desires, informing the entire northern California of her sluttiness:
«YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I’M MEGAN FOX EVERYONE! I PRETEND TO BE A SUPERSTAR, BUT I’M NOTHING BUT A WEED-SMOKING ANAL-WHORE WHO LOVE TO TAKE IT UP HER AAAAASSSSS! JUST LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEEE!»
Even in the heat of the moment I knew she was taking things too far. I wasn’t going to be arrested whilst fucking this Hollywood hottie. Deciding I wanted to teach her a lesson, I moved my hand over her mouth, using my other hand to grab her by her left thigh - lifting her up and carrying her away with my cock still buried in her ass. There were muffled cries of what could’ve been displeasure as much as pleasure as her feet and arms flailed in protest.
Setting her down on her feet again, I placed her against the wall on the opposite end of the room. I choose the spot which contained the biggest pullout; a poster of a black woman being double penetrated. Megan must have really loved the placement, because she giggled like a maniac when she saw it.
«Heeheee! It takes a slut to know one!»
Fired up by her readiness, I couldn’t do anything but to obey my own instincts. Taking her by the ass again, I was prepared to go hard on her again, but after only a few pumps Megan opted to show off abilities most extraordinary.
«Wait! Give me a sec. and I’ll show you something! I learned this after I began taking tantra classes - you’ll LOVE it! I promise!»
Those were words most intriguing, so I gave her the chance to prove herself. As she widened her stance I first thought she was only stabilizing herself, but then she displayed acrobatic skills seldom seen outside a circus performance: Dropping her upper body and bending herself over until she had folded herself with her head straight down, her hair now sweeping the dirty floor. I thought for sure she had finished her maneuver, but then she coiled herself even harder - holding onto the back of her knees and pushing herself between her own tights until she peeked up at me. Megan was now gazing up at my pistoning cock and swinging balls!
I was awestruck for a moment. How did her back and hip bones withstand such a powerful fold without getting scoliosis? She had frontbended her upper body like she was made out of plastic. I had imagined a wild girl like Megan would enjoy rough sex, but this was almost bizarre. Not that it phased her in the least.
«This is it! Like this! Fuck my hole like this! Fuck my fucking shithole like this!» she panted.
This exercise was taking its toll on her, but she was determined to go through with it. Moving her hands up so she could grope her own ass, she dug in with her fingers and forced her cheeks apart so hard I feared she would tear herself in half.
«Now, push it back in and push it deeper! Deeper! Deeper! DEEPER! DEEPER! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH….»
Giving in to her demands, I dove into her again and tossed my hips so hard that it was a miracle the two of us didn’t fall over and crash through the wall. I should’ve been in awe, or maybe even creeped out by her amazing flexibility, but due to current ass-fucking circumstances, her outlandish pose had transformed Megan Fox into a insatiable fuckhole that needed to be filled. Putting my hands over her own, we held her ass open as I plowed into her - the sound of smacking flesh so loud it would be heard all over the house.
The floorboards were creaking dangerously. Sweat was flying off our bodies in a mist as we turned into a pummeling flesh-statue that bounced so hard that the house must have been pushed off its foundation. I heard the noise of things hitting the floor downstairs and realized it was debris from the roof that got knocked loose from our fucking and begun raining down into what had once been a kitchen. Anyone wanting to stop us now would have to break us apart by force, because we had practically fused together.
There were barely any humanity left in us. I was grunting like a neanderthal, and Megan was wailing so loud she could have shattered any glass left in the building. If police entered right then, they would’ve draw their guns and come rushing upstairs, expecting to witness a murder because her ear-piercing screams were undistinguishable from a person being tortured to death.
«EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!»
I held the floodgates closed for as long as possible, but every man has his limits. Megan’s screams, topped with her gaping face underneath her own ass, was the kind of stuff that would’ve triggered the male population of the entire world. Feeling my balls rise up, I got ready to drown her in cum. Pulling out of her with a squelching sound, Megan was disoriented by my sudden removal, and it didn’t help that she loosened her tantric position in a jolt that would’ve made anyone dizzy. Without the tiniest hint of elegance, she crashed down on her knees - hooking her fingers inside her lips and pulling them so far wide it was almost grotesque.
«Here I come slut! I’m coming! Get ready to get drenched! AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!»
My balls were filled to the brim with sticky cream that shot out in thick ropes which flew around her face. My first wad hit Megan’s forehead so hard parts of it bounced off her and splattered the posters behind. I barely noticed this as I roared in pleasure, filling Megan’s mouth and face with sperm. I landed another gout over her nose and forehead, while the next couple of ropes shot straight into her waiting mouth. Still not empty, I delivered another few ropes into her eyelids before I covered her tits with my final blasts.
As my orgasm finally subsided, Megan hadn’t had her fill yet. She must have noticed I hadn’t just covered her face, but sent a few shots behind her. Ironically, it had splattered over a clip of a woman taking a massive facial. In the picture she was smiling as cum ran down her face and onto her enormous tits. Megan took this as a wonderful opportunity and began licking the substances off the dirty pictures.
«Mmmmmm, delicious!»
The sight of the Hollywood star, lapping up cum from the dirty shriveled photos like a dog getting a tasty load of cream, was so nasty that it almost made me shot another load on her there and then, but I was empty. No more cum for Megan that day.
***
Time slowly began moving normally again.
I had gotten dressed while Megan laid on the murky bed like a perverted image of a roman empress. Having gone out to catch her investments, she had rolled herself a joint. Still naked, she tempted me with her body on full display. I imagined the uproar if the millions who had loved Mikaela Barnes saw her like this: America’s new dream-girl smoking weed on a filthy bed in a room plastered with porn.
«So you’re saying you’re escorting Emma here?»
«Most likely, yes. In a few months, although delays might happen. It could be we’ll have to wait until next year.»
This place…»
«I believe the name was Edward’s Revenge, or… Dunno… I think it was «revenge» something…»
«Stuart’s Revenge?»
«You know the place?»
Megan laughed so hard she began coughing from the smoke.
«Sorry about that… Oh, yeah! I know the place. That’s the little empire of the Moody clan. That’s where they produce their precious cargo and distribute it. Some of it goes right into the pockets of the trailer trash residing there. They control the place with an iron fist.»
«They told you this?»
«My dealer did.»
«So you’re saying I’ll risk meeting the guys I ran off the road earlier today, or the rest of their family?»
«I wouldn’t worry.»
«How could I not?» I sighed.
«For one thing, if they aren’t jailed, at least they’ll be put under surveillance for a while. Didn’t you hear those cops? I don’t think they’ll try anything dangerous for a while. Also; they didn’t get a close look at you, did they?»
«Maybe not.» I speculated, wondering if the vague impression of a person seen through a car window would be enough to be recognize me months afterwards.
«Eh, I heard they’re actually quite nice to newcomers as long as you don’t interfere in their way of life. Buy some of their product and you’ll be fine.» Megan continued in a fit of giggles, acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Marihuana sure has a way of making any person into an annoying teen caricature.
What a fucking day! Playing Jack Reacher in the middle of nowhere, looking for a superstar without much common-sense, and getting hunted and shot at by hillbillies, culminating in a police-chase with an extra bonus of hot sex inside an abandoned building.
And the strangest thing? After half a year of wandering aimlessly around like a catatonic patient, I was finally beginning to feel like I was home again. Sometimes it took extreme measures or extraordinary events like this to make things click, and this absurdity was exactly the kind of thing that made me realize my place in the cosmos. The mundaneness of normal life had crushed me for too long. This kind of over-the-top bullshit suited me perfectly.
***
We waited until it was dark outside before we snuck out. No police awaited us, no gangsters trailed us, and no roadblocks stopped us, making the return to LA far more peaceful than I think any of us had dared to hope for.
Back at Bowerton I had plenty of tales to tell Greta the next day, although I withheld the most sensitive pieces of information. We decided it was time she shared her register of clients with me. Putting them all on speed-dial, I multi-messaged a marvelous bunch of star-power they could contact me if they were in dire need.
It didn’t take long before the calls and messages came, and I was reminded, once again, that there were many different types of need.
NEXT: Alexander catch Diane Kruger and Naomi Watts in a kinky situation with Audrey Hollander during the new years celebration at H-Block.
Topic: Decades of Decadence [Episode 27: India Eisley] (Read 315004 times)